The Watchtower, May 1, 1974

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The Watchtower — May 1, 1974

Source: jw.org

Contents

Is the Use of the Rosary Scriptural?

Should There Be a Generation Gap in the Christian Home?

Preventing a Generation Gap in Your Home

TV “Dunces”

Insight on the News

What Kind of a Wedding?

A Judgment That Balances Justice with Mercy

Tenderly Compassionate—Like Our God

Serving Jehovah with a Whole Heart

Gilead Graduates Urged to Imitate Ancient Gileadites

Questions From Readers

Enjoy a Bible in Living English

Is the Use of the Rosary Scriptural?

MILLIONS of professed Christians have never given any serious thought to their use of the rosary. They have taken it for granted that there is nothing objectionable about counting prayers with a string of beads. They believe that this is a Christian practice.

Many are therefore surprised to learn that the same practice is common among Hindus, Buddhists and Mohammedans. Its earliest origins are, in fact, non-Christian. Roman Catholic Bishop Fulton J. Sheen acknowledged: “Prayer beads . . . were probably first used by the Buddhists. Both Buddhists and Moslems make use of them in their prayers.” But none of the apostles of Jesus Christ nor their fellow believers in the first century used a rosary.

Is there anything objectionable about its use today? To determine this, we do well to consider what is involved in the use of the rosary and to do so in the light of Bible principles.

The rosary that is commonly used by many Roman Catholics consists of five groups of ten small beads, marked off by four larger beads and joined by a medal bearing an imprint of Mary. From this medal hangs a pendant or small chain consisting of three small beads between two larger beads and terminating in a crucifix.

As to the procedure for saying the rosary, this varies. The booklet The Fifteen Mysteries of the Holy Rosary (published in the United States) outlines the following: The person using the rosary blesses himself with the crucifix and, at the same time, says: “Incline unto my aid, O God, O Lord, make haste to help me.” He then proceeds to recite the “Apostles’ Creed,” one “Our Father,” three “Hail Marys” and one “Glory be to the Father.” These prayers, said on the small chain or pendant, are optional. Those recited as the remainder of the beads are fingered, however, cannot be omitted. First, the “Our Father” is recited. This is followed by ten “Hail Marys.” The “Glory be to the Father” brings the decade to its conclusion.

All the other decades call for the repetition of the identical words, with the exception that a different mystery is reflected upon. After having completed the decades of the rosary, the “Hail Holy Queen” and the “Litany of the Blessed Virgin” may be recited. To say the complete rosary of fifteen decades requires going around the usual circle of beads three times.

The saying of the rosary attaches the greatest importance to Mary, as most of the prayers are directed to her. Is this in harmony with the teachings of Jesus?

On one occasion a woman, moved by emotion on hearing Jesus’ teaching, exclaimed: “Blest is the womb that bore you and the breasts that nursed you!” Is this not the sentiment that is given greatest prominence when the rosary is said? But did Jesus go along with this emotional expression? No. “‘Rather,’ he replied, ‘blest are they who hear the word of God and keep it.’”—Luke 11:27, 28, the Catholic New American Bible.

Jesus Christ never showed any special favoritism toward Mary. He did not imply that she should be given special honor. When she and her other childrena interrupted his teaching, sending word that they wanted to speak with him, Jesus responded: “‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And extending his hand toward his disciples, he said: ‘Look! My mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.’”—Matt. 12:48-50.

Mary, too, showed a humble attitude. When the angel Gabriel revealed to her God’s purpose regarding the birth of his Son, she replied: “I am the handmaid of the Lord.” (Luke 1:38, the Catholic New Jerusalem Bible) Her attitude was much like that of the angel before whom the apostle John prostrated himself after receiving the revelation. That angel cautioned John, saying: “All I am is a fellow slave of you and of your brothers who have the work of witnessing to Jesus. Worship God.”—Rev. 19:10.

Is not the saying of the rosary contrary to the angelic admonition, “Worship God”? Are not most of the prayerful expressions directed to Mary? Yet that is not all.

Advocates of the rosary are forced to admit that many gain no benefit from it. Observes the publication The Fifteen Mysteries of the Holy Rosary: “Many . . . reduce the Rosary to a mechanical recitation of Our Fathers and Hail Marys with the result that it becomes a tedious practice especially for young people.”

Truly a tremendous amount of repetition is involved in saying the rosary. To go through the fifteen decades of the rosary calls for saying the “Our Father” or “Lord’s Prayer,” as recorded at Matthew 6:9-13, fifteen times. The following words of the “Glory be to the Father” are likewise said fifteen times: “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost; as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.” Ten times as often the words of the “Hail Mary” are spoken: “Hail, Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

Is such repetitious saying of prayers in agreement with the Bible? Note what Jesus Christ said: “In your prayer do not rattle on like the pagans. They think they will win a hearing by the sheer multiplication of words. Do not imitate them.”—Matt. 6:7, 8, New American Bible.

Is not the saying of the rosary a “sheer multiplication of words”? Does it not imitate the pagans who were using the rosary long before professed Christians began to do so?

There can be no question, therefore, that the use of the rosary is unscriptural. It is out of harmony with Jesus’ words about prayer and is contrary to the admonition to “worship God” alone. Instead of continuing to use the rosary, persons seeking divine approval need to make heartfelt expressions in prayer to God through his Son Jesus Christ.

[Footnotes]

For the evidence that Mary had other children, see Aid to Bible Understanding, pages 262 and 263.

[Picture on page 259]

A Hindu sadhu praying in Mahalaxmi Temple in Bombay, using prayer beads

Should There Be a Generation Gap in the Christian Home?

“Quit being fashioned after this system of things.”—Rom. 12:2.

1. What do news reports and various authorities have to say about a widespread generation gap?

“WHAT struck me during my last visits to America,” said historian Arnold Toynbee, “was the widening gap between the rising generation and their parents’ generation.” Such reference to the generation gap is not uncommon in the news today. The generation gap is more than a figure of speech. It is a cold, hard fact of this system of things. It is found not just in North America but in many parts of the world, such as Europe and Asia. “The Generation Gap in Japan,” reported the New York Times, “Is Almost an Abyss.” And a long article in the Soviet Communist newspaper Pravda noted that the generation gap is a major problem of Soviet society. Social scientist Margaret Mead speaks of a “deep, new, unprecedented world-wide generation gap.”

2, 3. (a) What is the generation gap? (b) Should there be a generation gap in the Christian home? Why?

2 Just what is this gap? It is a gap or breakdown in communication and understanding between youths and adults. Many youths feel that adults have made a miserable world and that there must be a better way and that they must find it. Often these youths rebel against anything the older generation likes or stands for. Older people, on the other hand, tend to feel that many youths are irresponsible, spoiled, selfish and ungrateful. The gap thus represents a wide difference in thinking between two generations.

3 World wide though this gap may be, what about Christian homes? Just because this system of things has an appalling generation gap, should there be the same gap in the Christian home? Well, are true Christians part of the world? Jesus Christ made it very clear that Christians should be “no part of the world.” (John 15:19) So if you are a true Christian, whether young or old, you want “no part” of this generation gap in your home, do you?

4, 5. (a) What dangers are there for young Christians, and so what counsel do they need to heed? (b) What important question now arises?

4 But we have to face the fact that Christian youths, as well as adults, can be influenced by worldly people around them. Worldly thinking can be adopted, and, if a person is not on guard, he can be fashioned by this system of things. The danger for Christians is there, and it can be a real battle. It is not to be minimized. It is a struggle against worldly ideas, goals and ambitions and against imitating worldly people, whether young or old. Young Christians especially need to heed the words of the Christian apostle Paul, who warned: “Do not imitate the way of this world.”—Rom. 12:2, Lamsa translation.

5 Now, how can you Christian youths be helped in this struggle so that you do not become fashioned by the world and end up victims of the generation gap? In seeking an answer to that question, it is good to examine the reasons for this gap.

TREMENDOUS CHANGES A FACTOR

6, 7. What changes have contributed to the generation gap?

6 Tremendous changes and happenings in the last fifty to sixty years are a major reason for the generation gap. At no time before have young people known and experienced such rapid changes. Half a century ago there were still lots of horses and buggies in use, and life was not so rushed. The development of jet airliners has had the effect of shrinking the globe so that travel from one continent to another takes only a few hours. Other technological developments allow men to walk on the moon, and to talk to us as they do so.

7 And there have been stupendous changes in communication as well as in the field of entertainment. The birth of radio and television has occurred in this same period. Both are powerful weapons in the hands of propagandists and specialists in mass psychology. Says long-time Juvenile Court Judge P. Gilliam of Portland, Oregon: “The communications explosion is the major factor in delinquency. In every . . . home is a television set—instant violence all around.” Crime was not the great problem fifty years ago that it is today. Immorality was not so prevalent.

8. How does popular music reflect the generation gap, and what is the Scriptural view of much of such music?

8 Consider, too, the changes in popular music. “Nothing, perhaps, reflects the gap between generations more strikingly than the new music,” said The National Observer. “It echoes all the other manifestations of youth’s rebellion against the established order—the hippie movement, drug use, social protest . . . widespread rejection of religion and moral convention, and chronic aversion to combs, barbers and beauty shops.” Not only is there the loud, pulsating beat, but the lyrics of many rock ’n’ roll songs blaspheme the Creator, pour contempt on parents, preach rebellion, encourage immorality and the use of dangerous drugs. As one song says: “Living for today because tomorrow may never happen.” Thus a large part of rock ’n’ roll stars and their fans share what one writer called a “manic disregard for the future.” This, of course, is the “wisdom” of this old system, which the Bible describes at James 3:15 as “earthly, animal, demonic.”

9. What cannot be concealed from youths, and how do many youths react to present unsatisfactory conditions?

9 So all these changes and happenings have had a profound effect upon youths. Two world wars have plagued this generation, and this fact cannot be concealed from youths. “We have had two world wars—two fatal mistakes—and youth knows it,” said the Philippine’s foreign minister, Carlos P. Romulo. “They want to fashion their own world after their own dreams.” Today’s youths are living more than ever before in what is called “the age of violence,” and this violence continues to reach new peaks. To offset the hatreds of the world, many youths stage what are called “love-ins” or they seek a life of escapism through drugs. They show contempt for the Establishment by following what is called the “new morality,” which is no morality at all. Rebellion against past “standards” of social conduct is the battle cry of many of the world’s young people.

ADULT FAILURE A REASON

10, 11. (a) What is a big reason for the generation gap, as youths themselves see it? (b) What adult attitude toward the Bible has contributed to the generation gap?

10 It is evident to young people that adults in general have failed to set the ideal example for youths. “We see the world as a huge rumble as it swiftly goes by with wars, poverty, prejudice, and the lack of understanding among people and nations,” wrote a fifteen-year-old boy from Texas. In this essay the boy further observes, “We see the huge rat race of arguing people trying to beat their fellow man out. All this builds up, causing unrest between nations and in the home.” Thus adult failure is a big reason for the generation gap.

11 Many adults, for example, though professing to be Christians, have turned away from the Bible; they seldom if ever read it and do not follow its principles. So what incentive, even to look into the Bible, do such parents give their children? Moreover, the youths hear clergymen of all kinds of religious denominations downgrade the Bible, speak of it as “myth,” and so forth. As historian Arnold Toynbee said: “In the past, we were told what the truth was. ‘This is the Bible, this is the truth about God and the world.’ Now, we don’t know the truth about the most important things. Children are going to question things because their parents question things.”—Look, March 18, 1969.

12. What did a seventeen-year-old student say about the present adult generation and its worldly religion, and how does this relate to the generation gap?

12 The hypocrisy of many adults is what troubles so many youths. A seventeen-year-old high-school honor student commented on this worldly society. Writing in the Chicago Tribune of April 26, 1970, this teenager said, under the heading “Voice of Youth”:

“Teen-agers easily see thru the double standards of their elders. Six days a week they see them directly or indirectly covet, lie, steal, and worship a false god, the almighty dollar. Then, come Sunday or Saturday, these same people suddenly become thoughtful for an hour or so while attending religious services. The remainder of the day they continue hypocritical ways. . . . Sometimes parents don’t even try to hide the fact they belong to a religious group only for the social prestige or to avoid disapproval of peers. Teen doubts about religion also stem from general observations. The vast array of religious organizations with so many opposing and contradicting views, each claiming to be the chosen church, makes a teen from even the most religious background think twice about the value of pursuing a religious life.”

The hypocrisy and contradictions of worldly religion thus do not escape notice by teen-agers, and this failure of religion and of the adult generation widens the gap between older persons and youths. Youths of the world, in seeing these things, take off in a different direction, seeking a better way of life.

YOUTHS’ RESPONSIBILITY

13. (a) How does a young movie starlet describe the present-day generation gap, and so what joy is being missed? (b) In going their own way, have youths found the happiness they seek, and what about hope in the future?

13 But in going their own way and seeking something different, have youths found the happiness they seek? Not really, and in widening the generation gap they miss out on the joy of communicating with their parents. The gulf between parents and youths has widened to the point where, in many families, it seems impossible to build a bridge of communication between the two generations. As one twenty-two-year-old Hollywood starlet said: “It’s hopeless now between my parents and me. . . . We still communicate, but we have to censor things. . . . It’s just that there’s an incredible gap, and they think my generation is crazy.” But we ask: What does this starlet and others like her have with their “free love” and different view of things? Do they have peace of mind with contentment? Do they have hope in the future? That same girl says: “Today I am terrified at the thought of being thirty. The thought of age, and even more the thought of dying, overwhelms me. And because I’m not religious, I have nothing to cling to when death comes.” Does this sound like the way of happiness?

14, 15. (a) What different view of the future do Christian youths have, and what different conclusions do they draw? (b) For a grand future, what must Christian youths avoid, this requiring what struggle?

14 How different it is with a Christian youth, for he has the hope of living forever in God’s new order of righteousness! (2 Pet. 3:13; Rev. 21:3-5) He is not terrified at the thought of being thirty years old! Why should he be? He has the hope of an eternity of time ahead of him, if he obeys his Creator now and continues to do so. (Eccl. 12:1, 13; Titus 1:2) Moreover, he can see the hypocrisy of the materialistic way of life that the adults of this world have created for themselves. But a Christian must draw different conclusions than do the youths of the world. He knows that the “love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things” and that many persons have “stabbed themselves all over with many pains” by loving money and the things it will buy. (1 Tim. 6:10) He also abhors hatred and violence, and he shows it by unselfishly doing good to others, even loving his enemies, and not by selfish gratification of his own sensual appetites.—Gal. 6:10; Matt. 5:44; Col. 3:5.

15 So for Christian youths there will be a grand tomorrow if they avoid “the spirit of the world” and its generation gap! (1 Cor. 2:12) However, it means a tremendous struggle for young people. They have to put up a real battle against tendencies, temptations, enticements, allurements and pressures that their parents may never have had when they were young. More than ever before it is necessary to “put up a hard fight for the faith that was once for all time delivered to the holy ones.”—Jude 3.

16, 17. (a) Upon whom does a great responsibility rest for avoiding the generation gap? (b) How should Christian youths think on matters so as to avoid a generation gap and its disastrous results?

16 Actually a great responsibility for avoiding the generation gap in the home rests on youths. How, then, will you who are Christian youths discharge this responsibility? First of all, do what the apostle Paul says at Romans 12:2: “Quit being fashioned after this system of things, but be transformed by making your mind over, that you may prove to yourselves the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” This has to do with how you think on matters. What is your attitude toward materialism? What do you think about the use of drugs for “kicks” or as an escape from the troubles of the world? What do you think of the immorality and promiscuousness of modern society? What do you think of the music and entertainment sought after by youths of the world?

17 You must not, you cannot, think on these matters as adults and youths think who are part of this wicked system of things. The way we act starts with how we think. “Quit being fashioned [in your thinking] after this system of things.” Resist worldly thinking and pressures: “Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold.” (Rom. 12:2, J. B. Phillips’ translation) Fashioning your thinking by the Word of God is the most important step if you will keep yourself in line with the “acceptable and perfect will of God” and avoid a generation gap.—1 Pet. 1:14-16; Eph. 4:22-24.

18. What good counsel should young people follow if they wish to have success?

18 You young people who want to do the will of God should cultivate a love for God’s Word the Bible. Study it, ponder over what it says, treasure up its truths, obey its commandments and live by its principles of righteousness. Do what Proverbs 3:5-7 says: “Trust in Jehovah with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding. In all your ways take notice of him, and he himself will make your paths straight. Do not become wise in your own eyes. Fear Jehovah and turn away from bad.” What does it mean to ‘take notice of Jehovah’ in all your ways? It means to acknowledge Jehovah, especially by doing what he says we should do, to follow his ways. If you do that, he will direct and guide your paths and you will have good success and enjoy divine favor.

19. What should be the Christian youth’s attitude toward the evils of this worldly system?

19 Following that good advice, you will not become rebellious because of the many evils of this present system of things. You well know that this wicked system of things cannot be reformed, so there is no need to become heated up in anger and engage in violent protest. To the contrary, listen to and follow the wise counsel of Psalm 37:8, 9: “Let anger alone and leave rage; do not show yourself heated up only to do evil. For evildoers themselves will be cut off, but those hoping in Jehovah are the ones that will possess the earth.”

BENEFIT FROM THE OLDER ONES IN GOD’S ORGANIZATION

20. What should be the attitude of Christian youths toward their parents ‘in the Lord’ and the older men in God’s organization?

20 Are you young folks among “those hoping in Jehovah,” and who will shortly now be “the ones that will possess the earth”? If so, there is another Bible commandment you must not overlook. At Ephesians 6:2, 3 Christian youths are told: “‘Honor your father and your mother’; which is the first command with a promise: ‘That it may go well with you and you may endure a long time on the earth.’” Especially is this important if your father and mother are dedicated, baptized followers of God’s Son, Jesus Christ, for then they are part of that large adult segment of God’s organization to whom 1 Peter 5:5 refers when it says: “You younger men, be in subjection to the older men.” The principle is also stated at Leviticus 19:32: “Before gray hair you should rise up, and you must show consideration for the person of an old man.”

21. How and why can Christian youths benefit from older ones in God’s organization?

21 Here, then, is a basic Bible truth that applies both to you younger ones and to you older ones if you believe the Bible. There must not be a generation gap between you, as there is in the world. You youths should put real confidence in these adults in the Christian congregation, especially the “older men” or elders. Like many of you, they too are dedicated servants of the Most High God. The main difference is that they have many more years of experience—experience from which you can profit, if only you will ask them for their advice and counsel. If you have never repaired an auto you can certainly learn a lot from the oldtimer who has spent much of his life as a mechanic. If you have never made a dress, you can avoid many pitfalls and learn the shortcuts to success as a seamstress from a mother who has made the family’s clothes for many years. Profit by the experience of older ones, who have a more balanced outlook on life. Their experience has changed their sense of values. The older folks were young once; they know what that is like. But you younger ones have never been old yet and so you know nothing of the outlook on life that comes with older years. So appreciate the benefit that comes from those with older years.

22. What worldly attitude makes many youths victims of the generation gap, and so how can Christian youths avoid tragedy?

22 Some worldly young folks today say they are willing to talk to people over thirty years of age, but only if the older ones refrain from giving advice. It is this spirit that makes many youths victims of the generation gap. But you Christian youths, do not be that way. Do not resent helpful advice, just because you did not ask for it! Sometimes we do not know that we need counsel. At a time like that it is most helpful when some mature one kindly speaks up and offers it to us. It can save us heartaches if we listen to counsel. Tragedy can often be avoided.—Prov. 10:17; 12:1; 13:18; 15:31-33.

23. What mistake do many young people make when it comes to seeking advice, and what Bible example shows the unwisdom of this course?

23 Often young people go to their youthful companions and seek their advice and counsel, ignoring what their parents and older men who are Christians say. Such youths remind one of young King Rehoboam. You can read about him in First Kings, chapter twelve. After the death of his father Solomon, Rehoboam asked for, but then ignored, the advice of the older men who had been advisers and counselors to his father. Rehoboam also went to the young men with whom he grew up and asked their counsel and advice. They offered him bad advice and encouraged him to take a harsh, unkind course of action. The result? In following the advice of the younger persons instead of the older men, King Rehoboam lost five sixths of his kingdom, and he had nothing but sorrow and trouble the rest of his life.

24, 25. (a) What Christian youth of the first century gladly accepted good counsel from an older man? (b) Why should Christian youths work hard at avoiding the generation gap?

24 On the other hand, there was an older man, the apostle Paul, who did not hesitate to give the young man Timothy good counsel, which he gladly accepted and from which he greatly benefited. How many of you Christian youths are Timothys at heart?—1 Tim. 4:12-16.

25 So all you young people, benefit from the good counsel of the mature ones who are Jehovah’s witnesses. Work hard at avoiding the generation gap and becoming victims of it. Being a victim means only disappointment and death. The apostle John wrote: “The world is passing away and so is its desire, but he that does the will of God remains forever.”—1 John 2:15-17.

26, 27. What are the rewards for avoiding the generation gap, and what question now needs to be considered?

26 Do you want to remain forever? Of course you do! Then do the will of God. Stick close to his Word and his organization of dedicated, baptized people. And think of the rewards that can be yours if you avoid the generation gap! Right now you can enjoy many happy experiences if only you will reach out and seize hold of the theocratic privileges being extended to Christian youths. And in the future? Well, Proverbs 3:1, 2 says: “My son, my law do not forget, and my commandments may your heart observe, because length of days and years of life and peace will be added to you.”

27 Parents, however, can do much to prevent a generation gap from arising in the first place. The following article will help them to discharge their responsibility to the rising generation.

[Picture on page 262]

Influences such as these—all of them developments in recent decades—are a major cause of the generation gap

[Picture on page 263]

Young folks see the hypocrisy of those who pretend to be religious one day of the week and who gossip and cheat at other times

Preventing a Generation Gap in Your Home

“Train up a boy according to the way for him: even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.”—Prov. 22:6.

1, 2. (a) Who cannot escape a share of the blame for the generation gap, and why? (b) What comment has been made about many of today’s youths?

ADULTS today cannot escape their share of blame for the worldwide generation gap. Many parents, for example, have shown an overly permissive attitude toward their children, with bad results. (Prov. 29:15) Not only has there been a resultant generation gap, but young people who “have gone their own way” have often made a mess of their lives. In fact, we now live in what has been called “the Age of the Slob.” Recently, Theodore M. Black, a member of the New York State Board of Regents, while discussing Regents examinations as yardsticks for measuring educational accomplishment, expressed this thought:

2 “At least in part because of our own negligence and permissiveness we find ourselves living in what I am compelled to label the Age of the Slob—a time when slovenliness in personal hygiene, appearance, speech and habits, immorality and obscenity publicly flaunted, a slothful disinterested shoddiness in the performance of one’s tasks and a monumental self-centeredness which manifests itself not merely in discourtesy but in a churlish disregard of the rights of others and the niceties of human relationships in a truly civilized society—all seem to be the order of the day.”—New York Times, June 24, 1972.

3. If a child is to grow up with fine Christian qualities, what must the parents do, and when?

3 Parents who care about their children do not want them to grow up that way. But if a child is to grow up with high moral standards, showing Christian qualities, including industriousness, kindness, goodness and love, the Christian parent cannot wait till the child is old enough to go to school to train him in the right way—God’s way. No, but as was true with the young Christian man Timothy, so it is advisable today. Of him, the apostle Paul said: “From infancy you have known the holy writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through the faith in connection with Christ Jesus.” (2 Tim. 3:15) It is important to start training children, then, when they are infants. Godly principles are not born into children. Instead, “foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy; the rod of discipline is what will remove it far from him.” (Prov. 22:15) From an early age they need proper training and discipline to counteract wrong tendencies.

4, 5. (a) What fine counsel does Proverbs 22:6 give? (b) When there are exceptions to what is stated in God’s Word, why does this not nullify the scripture?

4 That is why the Bible counsels: “Train up a boy according to the way for him; even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.” (Prov. 22:6) Or as the New English Bible renders that verse: “Start a boy on the right road, and even in old age he will not leave it.” Another translation of this verse reads: “Educate a child according to his life requirements; even when he is old he will not veer from it.”—The New Berkeley Version.

5 However, some parents might say: “I know of children who were trained in the Bible’s ways, but they turned out bad.” Does the deviation of some youths from God’s truths nullify the scripture? No! What the Bible has stated at Proverbs 22:6 is a general rule. There are exceptions, just as there are exceptions to what is stated at Proverbs 15:1: “An answer, when mild, turns away rage, but a word causing pain makes anger to come up.” This is not always true; sometimes a person will continue in his angry way no matter how mild our answer might be. But the rule is a good one and brings excellent results in the majority of cases.

6, 7. Why is early training of children so vital, and with what likely result?

6 The general rule applies: there is great benefit in training up a boy or girl in Jehovah’s ways from infancy. Early training is vital, because the first four or five years of a child’s life are crucial ones. During this time his mental patterns and abilities are becoming established. Says Dr. Joseph M. Hunt of the University of Illinois: “It is during the first four or five years of life that a child’s development is most rapid and most subject to modification. During this period a child acquires the abilities on which his later abilities will be based. Perhaps 20 percent of those basic abilities are developed before his first birthday, perhaps half before he reaches four.”

7 Taking the time, then, to instill godly principles into young children is vital. The results will be that, if the child has a good heart, he will go in the right way when older. He is helped to avoid being a victim of the widespread generation gap.—Eph. 6:4; Deut. 6:6, 7.

KEEP THE CHANNEL OF COMMUNICATION OPEN

8. What can parents do to establish and maintain the channel of communication with their children?

8 There are many things that parents can do to establish and maintain the channel of communication with their children. Generally, family ties are stronger if parents provide close personal supervision, instead of relying largely on training from schools, relatives, nurses, and so forth. It is important to begin as early as possible to talk freely with a child. Equally important is the need to answer a child’s questions, especially from God’s Word the Bible, when that is possible. (2 Tim. 3:16, 17) This requires listening with genuine regard to what a youngster has to say. So you parents need to learn to listen. Find out what your child’s problems are. Never think that his problems are too trifling for you to bother with.

9, 10. (a) How can a youngster be prepared to face life realistically? (b) How can parents encourage their children and maintain free communication?

9 Communication is maintained better when parents keep in mind that children are not perfect, even as they themselves are not perfect. In fact, a youngster has to be prepared for imperfections—in himself, in his family, and in others. So it is well to bring up a child with full realization that he will make mistakes. This is unavoidable in imperfection and in this system of things. (Ps. 51:5; Rom. 3:23; Jas. 3:2) But parents can encourage their child to keep on improving, and to keep working at cultivating Christian qualities. (Col. 3:12-15) Give credit and praise when such are due.

10 To facilitate free communication between parents and children, it is beneficial for the family to share meals together rather than developing the habit of eating separately. Regular conversing at meals improves family communication.

11. What can parents do to keep the channel of communication open and to prevent children from becoming self-centered?

11 Parents need to express and encourage continuing love. The strong bond of love will unite Christian families. (Eph. 5:25; Titus 2:4) With love the channel of communication remains open. Sometimes children become self-centered if the parents are always speaking critically of others, downgrading others, or digging up what is bad. (Prov. 12:18; 16:27) But parents who smooth over the foibles and faults of others, and who take a kind, loving attitude, help their children to be loving and forgiving, and to take an interest in other people. (Eph. 4:32) When parents show hospitality, even asking their children, “What can we do for So and So?” they are not only building up the joy of giving but also keeping open the channel of communication, so necessary in preventing a generation gap. If parents learn God’s truth when the children are in the teens, a steady effort will help to reopen the lines of communication.

UNFAVORABLE COMPARISONS TEND TO BE SELF-DEFEATING

12, 13. What comments have some young people made when discussing their problems in communicating with their parents?

12 It is interesting to note what young people say when there are group discussions of their problems in communicating with their parents. One teen-age girl revealed: “My sister’s the type that is always volunteering to help. Honestly—she likes housework. Then my mother says to me, ‘Look how much your sister does. Why can’t you be like her?’” This teen-age girl found such comparisons to be discouraging and hampered communication with her parents.

13 Another girl commented: “It isn’t fair. I’ll carry out the trash and do the dishes and straighten my room, and the next day my mother says, ‘Good grief, the dog does more around here than you do.’ Other kids get compared to their brothers and sisters, but I even get compared to the dog.”

14. (a) When trying to encourage their children, what might parents forget at times? (b) How do teen-agers in school generally respond to unfavorable comparisons?

14 Most parents, of course, know that children in the same family will differ in likes and dislikes and in personalities and qualities. Yet at times, especially when under pressure, parents may forget that very thing, as they try to motivate one youth to imitate others whose behavior is more desirable in a certain respect. But such efforts are likely to be self-defeating. Says the volume Today’s Teen-Agers: “Teachers have found that unfavorable comparisons tend to discourage rather than inspire students in the classroom.”

15-18. (a) How might parents benefit from the example of elders in the Christian congregation and from the viewpoint expressed by Jesus as recorded at Matthew 13:23? (b) To whom as examples are all in the Christian congregation encouraged to look? (c) So, how should Christian parents want to treat their children?

15 Parents do well to imitate the elders in the Christian congregation who always endeavor to apply Bible principles. These older men know how unwise it would be to compare one Christian to another, or to ask a person: “Why can’t you do more? Brother So and So, who has more responsibilities than you, does this and this.” Would such a comparison inspire any Christian? Or would it discourage?

16 And what if such unfavorable comparisons were made publicly, in the hearing of others? Would not this have a doubly discouraging effect, proving to be utterly self-defeating as a means for encouraging someone?

17 Elders in the Christian congregation do not make such comparisons. They know that the Lord Jesus Christ spoke favorably of those Christians sharing the good news of God’s Word, whether thirtyfold, sixtyfold or a hundredfold. (Matt. 13:23) Moreover, in the Christian congregation, elders encourage the congregation to “become imitators of God, as beloved children,” also to be imitators of Christ, and to imitate fellow Christians only as they imitate Christ. (Eph. 5:1; 1 Cor. 11:1) From this we see that the ones we should look to and measure ourselves with should be Jehovah God and the Lord Jesus Christ. The faithful example of fellow Christians can encourage us, but comparisons with other Christians are not to be used to make us think we are inferior to or better than others. (2 Cor. 10:12; Gal. 6:4) We look to the perfect examples to imitate.

18 So, since it has proved unwise in the Christian congregation, as well as in worldly schoolrooms, to make unfavorable comparisons rather than treating all as individuals, Christian parents who want to avoid a generation gap do well to think twice before using such comparisons.

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN

19-21. Why is it so important for parents to show loving concern for their children by spending time with them, and what have some authorities said about the consequences of parental neglect?

19 Parents need to show loving concern for their children. They cannot expect their children to turn out well if they themselves are lovers of pleasures or of wealth more than lovers of their own children. (1 Tim. 6:9, 10) Thus, regarding a teenager who became a victim of the generation gap and who went wrong, we are told: “Leon was alienated from his parents, both of whom worked and who were too busy to give him the attention he craved.”

20 Today’s way of life with its many pressures and distractions makes it hard for parents to spend time with their children. But time has to be spent. Professor Urie Bronfenbrenner in the book Two Worlds of Childhood: U.S. and U.S.S.R. contends that too many parents have withdrawn from the lives of their children, leaving a moral vacuum that is filled by their peers and television. Writes Dr. Bronfenbrenner:

“We are experiencing a breakdown in the process of making human beings human. What is needed is a change in our ways of living that will once again bring adults back into the lives of children and children back into the lives of adults. . . . If adults do not once again become involved in the lives of our children, there is trouble ahead.”

21 And McCann wrote in Delinquency—Sickness or Sin?: “The dockets of our juvenile courts . . . reveal in one child after another a common experience: parental indifference, neglect, rejection.”

22. What happened to the sons of a television entertainer when he failed to spend enough time with them, and how did he describe the situation with himself and many fathers?

22 Trouble came to one well-known forty-four-year-old television entertainer whose sons turned to drugs. He explained later to the press: “The average father doesn’t lead my life, but it’s the same thing. He goes to work, comes home, says he doesn’t want to hear about the little problems because he’s had a tough day at the office, puts on the television and then goes to bed. . . . I see successful men running companies with hundreds of men; they know how to deal with every situation, how to discipline and reward in the business world. But the biggest business they are running is their family and they fail it. . . . I thought because I was a success at an early age, I knew it all. I knew nothing.”—New York Times, August 1, 1972, p. 26.

23. What did one investigator find as to the consequences of parental indifference?

23 Thus, when children are left on their own and little interest is shown in them and their activities, a generation gap results, with serious consequences. Recently the findings of a veteran San Antonio, Texas, narcotics detective-investigator were made public. After nine months as an undercover agent gathering information, he learned that many young people taking drugs seemed to make no attempt to conceal the fact that they were users of drugs. The conclusion reached by this investigator was that the use of drugs by the young is, to a large degree, the result of parental indifference. He told of young people talking about their parents’ giving them money and then leaving them alone to do as they wished on weekends. “It seems like the kids couldn’t understand why their parents didn’t want to spend time with them,” said the detective-investigator.—San Antonio News, January 28, 1972.

24-26. (a) When might parents advantageously spend time with their children? (b) What principle did God establish in ancient Israel that relates to “little ones” in Christian families today?

24 How important it is, then, for parents to spend time with their children! Spending time together makes communication natural, and helps parents to get the youngsters’ views. Much good results when the father spends time with both sons and daughters in working around the home. Sharing in work, as well as in recreation, trains the family to enjoy things with others, not just pursuing personal interests.

25 And, of course, spending time together in private and in congregational Bible instruction is vital. God established that principle in ancient Israel. He commanded parents, not only to teach children God’s ways at home, but also to take their children with them when going to the assemblies that were held for the purpose of worshiping and praising Jehovah. The divine command through Moses was: Congregate the people, the men and the women and the little ones . . . in order that they may listen and in order that they may learn, as they must fear Jehovah your God and take care to carry out all the words of this law.” The “little ones” were not left at home. Likewise today children need to accompany their parents to attend meetings of the Christian congregation.—Deut. 31:12, 13; Neh. 12:43; Luke 2:41-50; Matt. 19:13, 14.

26 Parents who follow God’s Word have divine wisdom to help them to rear their children, and if they train their children up in the way they should go, spending time with them, teaching them to be imitators of God and of his beloved Son, they will likely succeed.

WATCHING THEIR ASSOCIATION

27-29. (a) What Scriptural principle did the apostle Paul state about association? (b) What is association, and when is it bad?

27 Parents who want their children to avoid being victims of the generation gap, with consequential plunges into the abyss of drug taking or immorality, need to appreciate the importance of watching the young ones’ associations. The Bible clearly states the principle for success: “Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits.” “Bad company ruins good morals” (Revised Standard Version).—1 Cor. 15:33.

28 What the apostle Paul is warning against here is not mere contact with worldly persons. How so? Well, what is association? The Greek term means “being in company with” or “a having intercourse with.” The English word is derived from a Latin word meaning “joined to, united with,” “joined with, allied.” In other words, you become a companion or an ally of someone whose companionship you are seeking. It is fraternizing, entering into the pursuits and pleasures of those with whom you are associating. This is a bad thing if the association is with worldly persons, since good morals and habits will suffer.

29 Sometimes parents find out in the hard way that watching their children’s association is the key to avoiding heartache. But why learn things in the hard way? Jehovah’s Word contains the guidance that parents need to bring up children successfully.

BLESSINGS FROM RIGHT TRAINING

30. (a) What rewards come to parents who give their children right training from infancy? (b) How is this illustrated by an experience in high school?

30 What rewards there are for parents who train up their children in the way they should go! They attain to great joy and avoid the grief and heartache and shame that are certain to come when a child becomes a victim of the generation gap and goes his own way. (Prov. 17:21; 29:15) During a class discussion of social problems in a girls’ class at high school the matter of the generation gap was introduced. The discussion was one-sided, so the girls were invited to bring their parents at the next session. The parents of a Witness student arranged to be present. Said the father:

“We were the only parents present. Two teachers were also present. The discussion began by the girls’ raising their hands and asking questions when called upon by us. The girls were interested in our attitudes toward discipline, punishment, freedom, recreation, causes for the generation gap, and so forth. Our answers were based on the Bible, to which we referred as the occasion required.

“We pointed out that when a family lives by Bible principles there is no generation gap. The girls appeared to be deeply impressed, and at the end of the forty-minute period asked if we could stay for a second period, which we did.

“It was obvious to the girls that there was no communication gap in our home. After we left, some of the girls commented to our daughter that they wished they could trade parents with her. Many agreed that they would rather live in a home where there was discipline coupled with love than in a home where parents and children could not communicate.”

31. Restate the fine principles that will help parents to prevent a generation gap in their home.

31 Yes, the Bible’s excellent principles furnish the bridge over which parents and children can intercommunicate, while realizing that both adults and teen-agers are children of a Great Father who knows how to discipline in love. So train children from infancy, and do your best to keep the channel of communication open, encouraging them, not by self-defeating unfavorable comparisons, but with the Highest Examples for us to imitate. Spend time with your children, and watch their association. Then the blessings for such right training will be yours, for “the father of a righteous one will without fail be joyful; the one becoming father to a wise one will also rejoice in him. Your father and your mother will rejoice, and she that gave birth to you will be joyful.”—Prov. 23:24, 25.

TV “Dunces”

● The danger caused to children by excessive TV viewing may be more than wrong moral influences and a factor in the generation gap. Phyllis Dolhinow of the University of California, at Berkeley, explains: “The child sits passively in front of a television set, uninvolved in social interaction or creative use of the intellect.” Referring to such children as ‘telly dunces,’ the London Daily Mirror noted the concern of British scientists for many aged nine to eleven whose reading age is less than six. “They are likely to wind up as illiterate adults—because they come from homes where their main . . . source of information is television and pop records.”

Insight on the News

Barrier Going Down?

● In March a joint commission of Roman Catholic and Lutheran theologians of the United States issued a statement that the ‘primacy of the pope’ need no longer be a “barrier to reconciliation” of their respective churches.

Many today do not realize that the sixteenth-century Protestant breakaway was more of a protest against Church government than against doctrine. Back in the fifth century, Leo “the Great,” bishop of Rome, had claimed superiority over all other bishops. Enforcing this, the fifteenth-century Council of Florence officially pronounced the bishop of Rome to be “the true vicar [administrative representative] of Christ,” having “full power of feeding, ruling, and governing the whole Church.” Protestants of the following century rejected such papal rule as unscriptural. Any hope of reconciliation darkened when, in July 1870, Vatican Council I took the further step of declaring that the pope was “infallible” in defining doctrine of faith and morals.

How, then, does this Catholic-Lutheran commission a hundred years later propose that the impasse be solved? First, Lutherans would be asked to accept the pope’s primacy in the sense of his being a ‘special minister’ having a ‘special responsibility’ and as symbolizing the global Christian unity. Then, the Roman Catholic Church would be asked to accept the Lutherans as a self-governing “sister-church” in a “larger communion.” The issue of papal infallibility? Well, the theologians would just leave that for ‘future decision.’

Unity of true Christians is both Scriptural and desirable. It comes, however, not by compromise and evasion, but by holding to the straight teaching of God’s Word. The Bible makes no man, but only Christ Jesus the head of the Christian congregation or church.—1 Cor. 3:11; Eph. 5:23.

Space Fantasies

● Recently, through books, newspaper reports and motion pictures, there have been attempts to tie in the Bible with an imagined “space visit” to earth some thousands of years ago. Ezekiel chapter one, containing a vision of a celestial chariot, is highlighted in the attempt to prove existence of spacecraft millenniums ago. Supposedly based on this, “scientific” drawings of such spaceship have been published.

Comparison between the claims and the facts shows the absurdity of the whole idea. In one case, “four living creatures” described by Ezekiel become—in the “scientist’s” mind—four propulsion motors for the spacecraft! Ezekiel chapter ten shows that they were—not metal propulsion motors—but “cherubs,” living angelic messengers of God. The prophetic vision is clearly symbolic, not of a space venture, but of divine destruction then approaching apostate Jerusalem.

Similarly, many puzzles of the past—astonishingly immense constructions found in ancient civilizations; their amazingly fine work in metals; their astronomical calculations—are piled together in an effort to support the theory of a visit by superintelligent persons from outer space. But today’s ignorance of ancient capabilities does not prove the theory of the moneymaking books and films. The problem lies largely with the false idea that man has been “evolving,” a theory that fails to credit men of the past with the intelligence the Bible shows they possessed.—Gen. 4:21, 22.

All of which goes to show that what makes money today does not necessarily make sense.

Shifting Values

● The way people use their leisure time is a fair index of what their set of values is. There was a time when people used evening hours for family association and recreation, for reading, including the reading of the Bible. What is the situation today?

A recent Gallup poll in the United States posed the question, “What is your favorite way of spending an evening?” Of those interviewed, almost half listed “watching television.” Less than one out of seven preferred reading, only one out of ten included “engaging in family activities at home.” One wonders, too, what type of reading is done by those who do prefer it. The improbability of its including any consideration of God’s Word is indicated by the fact that less than one out of thirty gave ‘attendance at religious meetings’ as a preferred way of spending an evening. The rule applies to the use of leisure time also that ‘you reap what you sow.’—Gal. 6:7.

What Kind of a Wedding?

NEWS reports from various lands tell of weddings taking many forms. For instance, two German acrobats were wed while on a trapeze high above a town square. Then there was a pair of skydivers who parachuted to earth, followed by a priest who married them on the spot where they landed.

Though these may be rare, publicity-motivated examples, more and more couples desiring to marry have decided to express their individuality in other ways. Such “individualists” have observed that many conventional weddings are extremely formal and costly affairs, where the emphasis is placed on etiquette, seemingly endless details and custom-bound ritual just to impress friends and relatives. Without question such preoccupation with “showy display” often detracts from the real significance and pleasure of the occasion.

In rebellion against such, the so-called “New Wedding” has developed in the past decade. In it the couple often disregard established customs and the opinions of their conservative seniors. They may get married on a mountainside, at the beach or in a cave, instead of in a church or a judge’s chambers. At a “New Wedding” the couple might read a piece of poetry instead of repeating the conventional wedding vows (imitating a wedding staged in a recent motion picture). At one such wedding near Los Angeles, California, a couple recited the following:

“I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations. And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.”

Now, in your opinion, no doubt, both extremes are undesirable. Likely you will agree that there is no need to be an abject slave of the “rules of etiquette” covering every detail. But you also probably believe that a wedding should not be a “do-it-yourself” stunt that disregards the feelings of others and the nature and dignity of the occasion.

What, then, is a reasonable course between these extremes? When planning a wedding, Christian witnesses of Jehovah give thought to what is actually necessary and what will be a modest and dignified wedding. That is why observers are often impressed with what they see when they attend weddings in Kingdom Halls.

EMPHASIS ON THE BIBLE

While the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses is essentially a place where the congregation meets for study of the Bible, sometimes weddings are held there too.a This is appropriate since the Bible itself shows that marriage is a divine institution.—Gen. 2:24.

As is fitting for a ceremony in the Kingdom Hall, a Scriptural talk is given on the meaning of marriage and the privileges and responsibilities of husband and wife. Then, at the conclusion of the upbuilding talk, there may be a vow taken or agreed to, conforming to what the local law requires.

In El Salvador and some other lands a marriage cannot take place in a religious building. It must be performed by a civil magistrate, such as at the Alcaldía (mayor’s office). Yet, in such lands Jehovah’s witnesses will often follow that civil marriage with a Scriptural talk at the Kingdom Hall. This, though not necessary, is a fine step. The day of one’s wedding is a happy time, and also an appropriate time to have in mind the wise counsel from the Originator of marriage.—Ps. 119:1.

MARRIAGE VOW

As mentioned, sometimes local law requires that the bride and groom make a public statement or vow in the presence of others, and Jehovah’s witnesses comply with the law. But even in lands where it is not required, it is often customary for the couple to repeat or agree to a marriage vow.

The “New Wedding” example quoted earlier illustrates that even in regard to the marriage vow there is a trend to “do your own thing.” Sometimes the couple make up their own vow; in other cases the clergyman does so. Thus in one church the minister “married” two lesbians for “as long as there’s love.” Another pastor married a naked couple for “as long as you dig it.”

In refreshing contrast to such trends, which dishonor the God-given state of marriage, Jehovah’s witnesses use the following vow, as was recommended in The Watchtower of March 15, 1969:

For the groom: “I ————— take you ————— to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement.”

For the bride: “I ————— take you ————— to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live together on earth according to God’s marital arrangement.”

But is there more to a Kingdom Hall wedding?

HAPPY, DIGNIFIED AND PERSONAL

One reporter observed: “The American wedding is a reflection of our dominant concerns: love and money, involving big doses of romanticism and status-seeking.” This may often be true in other lands too. However, Christians in all lands place the emphasis on the Biblical, spiritual aspects of the wedding. This, in turn, helps them to be moderate and balanced, to ‘let their reasonableness be known to all.’—Phil. 4:5.

Does this mean that weddings at the Kingdom Hall are all the same, or that they are somber or spartan affairs? No, not at all. These weddings are dignified yet joyful occasions, just as weddings were in Bible times. (Ps. 45:13-15; Isa. 62:5; Rev. 19:7, 8) Often there are special attire, flowers and pleasant, Bible-based music from the songbook used at the Kingdom Hall; these all help to make it a festive affair.

And there is variety according to individual taste. In Bible times the bride was decked with various ornaments and festive garments. (Isa. 49:18; 61:10; Rev. 21:2) So too at a Kingdom Hall wedding, variety may be observed in such things. For instance, the bride may be wearing a special bridal gown, or she may choose to wear something that will also be suitable to wear on future festive occasions.

There may be variety too as to those participating in the wedding. In Lebanon the bride and groom normally each have one close friend to serve as a companion. (Matt. 25:1; John 3:29) Usually those chosen to be the very close companions on this happy occasion are spiritual brothers and sisters, ones also hoping to serve Jehovah eternally. Elsewhere, it may be customary for a parent to appear in the wedding party. But if there are no legal requirements, just how the couple arrange this aspect of their wedding can reflect their personal taste.

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The Watchtower, May 1, 1974