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    Awake!, October 22, 1980

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    Awake!—1980

    Awake! — October 22, 1980

    Source: jw.org

    Contents

    Page Two

    Does Life Have Any Meaning?

    The Need for Meaning

    Making Lives Meaningful

    The Ultimate Source of Meaning

    When Mt. St. Helens Blew Her Top

    The Lady Was Not Bluffing!

    Mary—Can She Help?

    “This Religious Faith of the Scientist”

    I Was Saved from Suicide

    A Way to Settle Disputes

    Learning What Love Really Is

    Rearing Children Without a Mate—the Pleasures and the Pains

    Watching the World

    Worried by the High Cost of Living?

    How to Succeed in Marriage

    Page Two

    Page Two

    All down through the centuries people have pondered the question, Does life have any meaning? The universe is so big, we are so small; eternity is so long, our life is so short. How could our lives have any meaning? But the fact the questions haunt mankind reveals the need to feel our lives are meaningful

    3 DOES LIFE HAVE ANY MEANING?

    4 THE NEED FOR MEANING

    6 MAKING LIVES MEANINGFUL

    8 THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MEANING

    Does Life Have Any Meaning?

    Does Life Have Any Meaning?

    A man in his 80’s thinks: ‘My life is nearly over. It’s gone so fast. So little is left. Where did it all go? What did it mean? It’s all behind, nothing’s ahead. Except the grave. And oblivion. How pointless it all was! No wonder the cynic says, “Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.”’

    But is this all there is?

    LONG ago a man undergoing a painful ordeal without knowing why cried out in despair about the human condition: “Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble. He comes forth like a flower, and withers; he flees like a shadow, and continues not.”​—Job 14:1, 2, Revised Standard Version.

    Is this all there is? Does life have any meaning? These questions have been asked over and over again, by generations of people down through the ages. Especially as they grow old. They look back on life and wonder what it meant.

    At the funeral of an old man some will say: ‘Well, he lived a full life.’ Supposedly this means death is now acceptable. But does a full life that is past make dying easier to accept? Or does it make it harder? Would it not be easier to leave an empty life than a full one? No one says, “I’m so happy I’m going to kill myself!” It’s the miserable that resort to suicide. Yesterday’s full stomach doesn’t comfort today’s empty one. And what seemed meaningful during life often doesn’t seem so important as death draws near.

    Life has lost its meaning for many. The world scene is bleak. Life is cheap. It’s frustrating for many. The young are neglected, the old shunted off into dreary nursing homes. Stress builds up until hearts fail or violence erupts. Political corruption spreads and credibility gaps widen. Concerned individuals who try to improve conditions have about as much impact as a flea pouncing on an elephant. Disillusionment sets in and people submerge themselves in meaningless preoccupations with self. On this trend, a United States best-seller, The Culture of Narcissism, says: “Having no hope of improving their lives in any of the ways that matter, people have convinced themselves that what matters is psychic self-improvement: getting in touch with their feelings, eating health food, taking lessons in ballet or belly-dancing, immersing themselves in the wisdom of the East, jogging, learning how to ‘relate,’ . . . They cultivate more vivid experiences, seek to beat sluggish flesh to life, attempt to revive jaded appetites. . . . mental health means the overthrow of inhibitions and the immediate gratification of every impulse.”​—Pp. 29, 39, 40, 43.

    When people pursue this course, their meaningless lives become more meaningless, and, in more desperate efforts to escape, they plunge into sexual orgies and perversions, go on sprees of vandalism and senseless violence, take drugs and even opt for the ultimate escape​—suicide. All because they feel their life has no meaning.

    Here for a few short years, then into the grave and oblivion. How can it have meaning? What makes a man more important than an ant or a grasshopper? In the vastness of universal space, he feels like nothing, irrelevant, of no consequence, here for a moment and gone for eternity. Life seems like an exercise in futility.

    “How could my life have meaning?” a person wonders. ‘When I’m gone who will miss me, and for how long? And if some do, how will it help me? I’m just one among thousands of millions. Who notices, who cares, who remembers?’

    But wait! Some do notice. Some do care. Some will remember. Life does have meaning, if you want it to, if you make it so. The articles that follow show that to be true.

    The Need for Meaning

    The Need for Meaning

    Who needs it? Not the earthworm or the eagle, the chipmunk or the whale. It is man alone of all earth’s creatures that raises the question, Does life have any meaning? Every generation has pondered it. If the need for meaning were not inherent in man, the question would not have haunted him through the centuries

    EARTH seems big to man, but it’s a small planet orbiting a medium-sized star we call the sun. Our sun’s 864,000-milea diameter sounds impressive until we learn that some red supergiants have a diameter of 2,000,000,000 miles. It takes light, traveling 186,000 miles a second, eight minutes to reach earth, but it needs 100,000 years to cross our Milky Way galaxy containing some 100,000,000,000 stars.

    Some astronomers estimate that there are as many galaxies in space as there are stars in the Milky Way. Radio telescopes have detected light coming from 10,000,000,000 light-yearsb away. Even so, these staggering figures do not give us the size of the universe.

    The unknown vast reaches of space are of no concern to the rabbit or the cockroach or the chimpanzee, or to any other animal. But man is awed by its immensity. Long ago King David of Israel saw only two or three thousand stars in the heavens, and just this tiny fraction of universal space caused him to cry out to Jehovah God: “When I see your heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have prepared, what is mortal man that you keep him in mind, and the son of earthling man that you take care of him?”​—Ps. 8:3, 4.

    David felt dwarfed by a few thousand stars. With our knowledge of untold millions of galaxies, we should feel microscopic! If the earth is a mere speck of dust in the universe, of what consequence are individuals living on this speck?

    It is not only our smallness in a big universe but also our brief existence in the eons of time that makes it difficult for us to believe our life means something. Just as animals have no comprehension of universal space, so they have no concept of time, but “God has planted eternity in the hearts of men,” “he has given men a sense of time past and future.” (Eccl. 3:11, The Living Bible and The New English Bible) Although knowing that time is eternal, man is also told that his life is very brief.

    The psalmist says: “As for mortal man, his days are like those of green grass; like a blossom of the field is the way he blossoms forth. For a mere wind has to pass over it, and it is no more; and its place will acknowledge it no further.” “Man himself bears resemblance to a mere exhalation; his days are like a passing shadow.” The Christian Bible writer James concurs: “You are a mist appearing for a little while and then disappearing.”​—Ps. 103:15, 16; 144:4; Jas. 4:14.

    If life is so fleeting and followed by a future of oblivion, how could it have meaning? But the need for meaning and permanence is so great that doctrines of immortal souls and reincarnations are seized upon. Many feel the need to make this present life memorable by leaving something of themselves behind​—a book, a painting, a musical composition, an endowment, a foundation, anything to give some kind of tangible evidence of their having been here. It seems to help them to feel that there was some meaning to their existence. Even those who made a name for themselves fade from memory as they are eclipsed by prominent ones now living. Of efforts to change this fact of life, the verdict is: “Look! everything was vanity and a striving after wind.”​—Eccl. 1:14.

    In spite of man’s tininess in universal space, however, and his fleeting appearance in the stream of time, he still needs to feel his life is meaningful. This springs from the way he was created. It is an inborn need. Viktor Frankl, the psychiatrist who originated the psychiatric school of logotherapy, which he defines as meaning-therapy, says: “The striving to find a meaning in one’s life is the primary motivational force in man.”

    How can the need for meaning in our life be met? The following article gives some of the requirements.

    [Footnotes]

    a 1 mile = 1.6 kilometers.

    b 1 light-year = approximately 6 trillion miles.

    [Blurb on page 5]

    If the earth is a mere speck of dust in the universe, of what consequence are individuals living on this speck?

    [Blurb on page 5]

    “The striving to find a meaning in one’s life is the primary motivational force in man.”

    Making Lives Meaningful

    Making Lives Meaningful

    BY SETTING GOALS

    “Hitch your wagon to a star,” advises the old saying. Goals of high purpose give meaningful direction to our life, keep us from drifting, floundering or stagnating. Human creatures are goal-oriented. Setting goals aids progress and strengthens purpose. Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, in “Man’s Search for Meaning,” writes of the importance of goals even in Nazi concentration camps: “Any attempt to restore a man’s inner strength in the camp had first to succeed in showing him some future goal.”

    He tells of two men in camp who had decided to commit suicide​—what did they have to live for? But when one realized his adored child was waiting for him, and the other had a series of scientific books to finish, both chose to live. “There is nothing in the world, I venture to say,” Frankl wrote, “that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions, as the knowledge that there is a meaning in one’s life.”

    If this is true in “the worst conditions,” how much more so would setting goals and striving to reach them help people in their day-to-day living!

    BY DOING WORK

    Goals in themselves, however, mean little. Only when they are accompanied by deeds do they have real meaning. A farmer may have as a goal the harvesting of a certain crop, but to attain that goal he must sow seed and do all the additional work needed to produce and bring in the crop. He can’t be like the farmer described at Ecclesiastes 11:4: “He that is watching the wind will not sow seed; and he that is looking at the clouds will not reap.”

    Work accomplished reflects the qualities and abilities of the worker, shows what he is, and when it is successful it gives him a sense of fulfillment. “A long life without the feeling of fulfillment is very tedious,” says Dr. Hans Selye.

    Even children benefit from work. Professor Alice Rossi, a sociologist at the University of Massachusetts, urged parents to give children work in the home: “To feel needed and useful is as important as to feel loved. Yet our child-rearing ideas have stressed only love and the child’s need to play, neglecting the work children can do.”

    BY MINDING SPIRITUAL THINGS

    Purpose and meaning are based in the things of the spirit, not the flesh. Frankl wrote of the ability to resist the tortures of the concentration camps because of spiritual strength: “The consciousness of one’s inner value is anchored in higher, more spiritual things, and cannot be shaken by camp life.” Why do successful executives, materially well off, change careers in mid-life? Psychologist Levinson said that they begin to ask: “Is this all there is? Was it worth all I had to give up along the way? Do I want to go on like this for the rest of my life?”

    It is the awareness of a person’s spiritual need and the fulfilling of that that brings happiness and meaning to his life. (Matt. 5:3) The apostle Paul wrote: “The minding of the flesh means death, but the minding of the spirit means life and peace [with God].” (Rom. 8:6) Study the Bible and come to know Jehovah God and Christ Jesus, for ‘this means everlasting life, taking in knowledge of the only true God, and of the one whom he sent forth, Jesus Christ.’​—John 17:3.

    BY A RIGHT ATTITUDE

    “According to your faith,” Jesus told two blind men who asked for sight, “let it happen to you.” It happened for them because they had a positive attitude and believed. (Matt. 9:29) Do you work toward a goal with confidence and vigor, not doubting or drifting willy-nilly? Think negative and get negative results; think positive to get positive results. Doubts are traitors that make us lose what we might win if we didn’t fear to try. Think on that which is good. (Phil. 4:8) Why is this so vital? Because of the principle expressed at Proverbs 23:7: “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”​—Authorized Version.

    BY SERVING OTHERS

    We feel useful when we help others. It shows we have something to offer, and as Jesus said: “There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.” (Acts 20:35) Useful lives become meaningful lives, viewed so by others as well as by ourselves. Serving mankind can in itself become a goal and impart meaning to a person’s life.

    Serving God does much more toward enabling us to view our life as meaningful, even though we are small in a vast universe and exist only in a tiny fraction of the stream of time.

    BY SUFFERING FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS’ SAKE

    “Suffering ceases to be suffering in some way at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice,” writes Frankl. “Man is even ready to suffer, on the condition, to be sure, that his suffering has a meaning.” What greater meaning could it have than being for righteousness’ sake?

    “Happy are those who have been persecuted for righteousness’ sake,” Jesus said. The apostles experienced this joy: “They [the Jewish religious court of the Sanhedrin] summoned the apostles, flogged them, and ordered them to stop speaking upon the basis of Jesus’ name, and let them go. These, therefore, went their way from before the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy to be dishonored in behalf of his name.” (Matt. 5:10-12; Acts 5:40, 41) There is no merit in suffering for wrongdoing, but when you suffer for doing good, this “is a thing agreeable with God.”​—1 Pet. 2:20.

    The Ultimate Source of Meaning

    The Ultimate Source of Meaning

    “THE only adequate structure for morality is that based upon the ultimate meaning of life.” That is the claim made by a prominent psychiatrist, Rollo May. He raises the question of where this structure and ultimate meaning of life can be found, and answers: “The ultimate structure is the nature of God. The principles of God are the principles which underlie life from the beginning of creation to the end.”

    “Man has a relationship to God,” May continues. “This is so fundamental in man that it is attributed to his creation, where he was ‘made in the image of God.’” He also observed that man’s ego and self-will cause him to stray from the godly image, and this causes inner conflicts and tensions and guilt feelings. This reminds us of the apostle Paul’s dilemma, as he expressed it: “The good that I wish I do not do, but the bad that I do not wish is what I practice. Miserable man that I am!” (Rom. 7:19, 24) The basic point being made here, however, is that the ultimate meaning of life is to be found in a relationship with Jehovah God.

    A person feels dwarfed not only by space and time, as previously discussed, but also by the teeming millions of human creatures on earth all around him. “The bigger the crowd,” says C. G. Jung, “the more negligible the individual becomes.” He feels “overwhelmed by the sense of his own puniness and impotence” and that, as a result, “his life has lost its meaning.”

    But the masses of humanity, so overwhelming to the individual, are as nothing when compared to God. To him “the nations are as a drop from a bucket; and as the film of dust on the scales . . . All the nations are as something nonexistent in front of him.” (Isa. 40:15, 17) This was written more than 2,000 years before the modern schools of psychology were established, the central figure of which is Sigmund Freud, born in 1856 C.E.

    For our lives to have any real meaning, they need a connection to Jehovah God, the Creator of the universe. Many today, however, have doubts that God even exists, and they therefore find it difficult to relate to him. Nonetheless, evidence for his existence abounds. Many look at the heavens and earth and agree with the apostle Paul when he said: “His invisible qualities are clearly seen from the world’s creation onward, because they are perceived by the things made.” They also can repeat with the psalmist his recorded words: “The heavens are declaring the glory of God; and of the work of his hands the expanse is telling.”​—Rom. 1:20; Ps. 19:1.

    The consensus among scientists now is that the universe had a beginning. The Bible’s first verse also says this: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” (Gen. 1:1) Robert Jastrow, in his book God and the Astronomers, wrote:

    “Now we see how the astronomical evidence leads to a biblical view of the origin of the world. The details differ, but the essential elements in the astronomical and biblical accounts of Genesis are the same: the chain of events leading to man commenced suddenly and sharply at a definite moment in time, in a flash of light and energy. Some scientists are unhappy with the idea that the world began in this way. . . . But the latest evidence makes it almost certain that the Big Bang really did occur many millions of years ago.”

    The British theorist Edward Milne in a mathematical treatise on relativity concluded: “As to the first cause of the Universe, in the context of expansion [the Big Bang], that is left for the reader to insert, but our picture is incomplete without Him.”

    The Journal of the American Medical Association, August 22, 1977, page 899, said: “Today at least 80% of the scientists who deal with biology would probably admit that biology and life are regulated by some higher power.

    “The superb order and regulation in various manifestations of life and in the basic processes at the cellular and molecular levels have strong influence on the belief that a higher power exists.”

    Now this recognized great First Cause whose name is Jehovah had a purpose, or goal, in making the earth: “He formed and made the earth​—he made it firm and lasting. He did not make it a desolate waste, but a place for people to live.” So, too, when Adam was put in the garden it was for a purpose: “to cultivate it and guard it.” To both Adam and Eve God said: “Have many children, so that your descendants will live all over the earth and bring it under their control. I am putting you in charge of the fish, the birds, and all the wild animals.” (Isa. 45:18; Gen. 2:15; 1:28, Today’s English Version) “Everything Jehovah has made for his purpose,” this is his purpose for humankind, and his purposes never fail.​—Prov. 16:4; Isa. 46:11.

    Today people work toward goals that make them feel their life is meaningful, but is there a lasting quality to these goals? Will the meaning survive in time and universal space? The ultimate source of meaning is the doing of work willingly that Jehovah God has ordained for humankind​—caring for the earth, beautifying it, lovingly exercising oversight of animal life, praising Jehovah as they enjoy life under the kingdom of Christ Jesus. In this way no longer will they be dwarfed by space or terminated by time. Each one will then harmonize with and advance the purposes of God for the earth. Each life will then have meaning, meaning to man and to God. And if your ultimate meaning in life is not to be terminated by time then make as your goal the gaining of everlasting life in the paradise earth under Christ’s kingdom.

    There is another aspect of a life dedicated to God that gives it a meaning of universal importance. Remember the words of the man of long ago, Job, that were quoted in the opening article of this series? Remember how those words bitterly lamented man’s fewness of days and their fullness of trouble? Well, Job’s days were filled with trouble because of a challenge raised thousands of years ago by Satan the Devil. That challenge was that Jehovah could not have people on earth who would keep integrity to Him under test.

    Doubtless in reference to this issue previously raised, Jehovah on one occasion asked Satan: “Have you set your heart upon my servant Job, that there is no one like him in the earth, a man blameless and upright, fearing God and turning aside from bad?” Satan’s retort was, ‘You’ve put a protective hedge around him! Let me strip him of his possessions and he’ll curse you to your face!’ Satan was allowed to do that, and, later, was even permitted to bring painful disease and torment upon Job. The issue between God and Satan was a universal one, for it was aired before angels in the heavenly court of Jehovah God.​—Job 1:6 to 2:8.

    Satan was allowed to do all he could to Job to break his integrity to God, but he failed. Job cried out: “Until I expire I shall not take away my integrity from myself!” Later he declared, “God will get to know my integrity.” Job proved Satan a liar and his challenge false. Further words of his constitute a cry of hope for all mankind: “I myself well know that my redeemer is alive, and that, coming after me, he will rise up over the dust. And after my skin, which they have skinned off,​—this! Yet reduced in my flesh I shall behold God, whom even I shall behold for myself.”​—Job 27:5; 31:6; 19:25-27.

    Though many others have failed, some people down through the centuries have kept integrity to God and proved Satan’s challenge false, and to this extent they have contributed to the vindication of Jehovah’s name. Surely, nothing could give a life more meaning than this, to support the cause of the Creator of the universe, to demonstrate to both men and angels that Satan lied when he said he could turn all men away from God!

    Throughout the Bible book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon repeatedly referred to this life and its secular works as vanity, and dismissed it as “this brief span of empty existence through which he passes like a shadow.” (Eccl. 6:12, The New English Bible) Nevertheless, he admonished young persons to remember their Creator and concluded his writings with these words: “The conclusion of the matter, everything having been heard, is: Fear the true God and keep his commandments. For this is the whole obligation of man. For the true God himself will bring every sort of work into the judgment in relation to every hidden thing, as to whether it is good or bad.”​—Eccl. 12:13, 14.

    A life lived in integrity to Jehovah God is not vanity, is not futile, is not meaningless. Jehovah the Creator of the universe is the ultimate source of meaning, and a life dedicated and devoted to him will last forever and will have meaning forever.

    [Blurb on page 11]

    Jehovah the Creator of the universe is the ultimate source of meaning, and a life devoted to him will last forever and have meaning forever

    [Box on page 10]

    EVEN PROMINENT PSYCHIATRISTS HAVE BEEN OBLIGED TO CONFIRM THE NEED FOR BELIEF IN GOD

    C. G. Jung:

    The “idea of an all-powerful divine being is everywhere, if not consciously recognized, then unconsciously accepted . . . Therefore I consider it wiser to recognize the idea of God consciously; otherwise something else becomes god, as a rule something quite inappropriate and stupid.”

    “The individual who is not anchored in God can offer no resistance on his own resources to the physical and moral blandishments of the world.”

    “Religion, as the careful observation and taking account of certain invisible and uncontrollable factors, is an instinctive attitude peculiar to man, and its manifestations can be followed all through human history.”

    On his patients over 35: “There has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.”

    Rollo May:

    On belief in God and His mercy: “Then the individual will have gained a feeling of his own minuteness and insignificance in the face of the greatness of the universe and God’s purposes therein. . . . He will recognize that there are purposes which swing in arcs much greater than his little orb, and he will aim to put himself in harmony with them. He will realize, without sentimentality, his dependence on God.”

    On atheism: “True religion, namely a fundamental affirmation of the meaning of life, is something without which no human being can be healthy in personality. . . . What happens to mental health when this meaning which religion gives is absent? In other words, what is the effect of atheism on personality? . . . I have been startled by the fact that practically every genuine atheist with whom I have dealt has exhibited unmistakable neurotic tendencies.”

    [Picture on page 8, 9]

    We may seem microscopic in this vast universe, and we may be as a fleeting moment in the endless stream of time, but our position on the earth is unique and our lives are involved in the most meaningful issue in the whole universe

    When Mt. St. Helens Blew Her Top

    When Mt. St. Helens Blew Her Top

    The quiet of the early morning hours on Sunday, May 18, was violently and suddenly shattered when a blast 2,500 times as great as the atomic bomb that fell on Hiroshima was heard and felt throughout southwestern Washington State and northwestern Oregon. Mt. St. Helens, about 45 miles northeast of the Portland-Vancouver area, had suddenly erupted

    THE story of the Mt. St. Helens eruption began in March, when scientists began monitoring earthquakes on and under the mountain itself. Those quakes were a clear signal of what was to come to pass on March 27 and again in May. The first signs of volcanic activity were noticed on March 27. There were minor eruptions of steam, and the earthquakes were coming on a daily basis.

    Mt. St. Helens was 9,677 feeta tall and provided a majestic view to those who enjoy snowcapped peaks with green forests and beautiful lakes. Since the May 18 blast, all that is gone. About May 10, geologists noticed that a bulge was growing on the north side of the mountain at a rate of four to six feet a day. Eight days later the mountain caught virtually everyone off guard with a blast that was felt some 200 miles away.b

    Tons of smoke and ash were blown high into the air, to descend later and settle four to six inches thick in places. At the time, winds were blowing in an easterly direction, and the ash fell as far east as Montana, with fine ash 40,000 feet high moving over New York city and out to sea.

    Breathing became extremely difficult, and the health hazard was especially great to those having respiratory problems. Animals were seen lying down, their lungs filled with the fine ash. Automobiles were stalling as the ash clogged air filters. It irritated eyes and nasal passages and generally made life miserable for days after the eruption. Cities in eastern Washington got out their snow equipment and plowed the streets. Home owners were forced to clean walkways and clear roofs to keep the buildup of ash from getting too heavy. All crops in the eastern part of the state were blanketed.

    The Devastation

    The Mt. St. Helens eruption covered some 160 square miles, laying waste everything in its path. Near the mountain the devastation was unbelievable. The blast flattened over 55 square miles of timber and other vegetation. The intense heat completely burned off all the green foliage, and from the air it looked like the terrain was covered with a carpet of matchsticks. Nearby Spirit Lake, once a sparkling jewel set in majestic mountains, was filled with logs and mud. Mountain streams, such as the Toutle and Cowlitz Rivers and others, even including the mighty Columbia, were choked with tons of debris washed down from the mountain.

    So much debris eventually found its way downstream that some nine and a half miles of the Columbia River was filled to the point that no ships could navigate it. The Army Corps of Engineers in cooperation with the Port of Portland and the Port of Vancouver began working day and night to clear a shipping channel. A 35-foot channel was started with 10 huge dredges. The task of removing some 22 million cubic yards of debris was begun, at an estimated cost of $44 million.

    Cost in Dollars

    The total cost was not immediately known, but government officials say that the total bill will run into the thousands of millions of dollars. Loss from crops could run into millions. Lost revenue from the ports of Portland and Vancouver was nearly $5 million daily as long as the Columbia River was closed. Total loss in timber leveled was estimated at $500 million​—some equated it to the loss of 200,000 single-family dwellings. Agriculture in eastern Washington could lose some $313 million, but the experts say that that figure is minimal and may have to be revised upward. Damage to national forest lands, $134 million. The list goes on and on.

    Perhaps the extent of damages will never be known, but one thing is certain​—it is extensive and staggers the imagination.

    The Human Element

    The most tragic part of the Mt. St. Helens story is the fact that over a score of persons died and scores of others are missing. It is believed that many of those missing were simply vaporized by the tremendous heat from the initial explosion. It is reported that one man, some 15 miles from the heart of the blast, received third-degree burns and another one died due to the heat. Others died from inhaling excessive amounts of ash.

    One old-time resident of Spirit Lake felt that he was secure and that the timber on the hills would prevent anything from the mountain from coming in his direction. A few short minutes after the blast nothing was alive in that area.

    Many took unnecessary risks by going to the mountain in spite of the warnings, others risked their lives to make money as a result of the devastation. For example, the Toutle and Cowlitz Rivers were filled with tons of logs and debris. People were seen in small boats, and even on the logs, endeavoring to retrieve them.

    Because of the ash fallout, residents east of Mt. St. Helens were advised to wear masks or respirators to protect their lungs. Some merchants sold these at exorbitant prices, while others were selling car air filters for $30 and more.

    While there were these kinds of persons, the majority were very cooperative and eager to help. Driving in the area was reduced to speeds of 15 miles per hour. Most complied, and in many ways were helpful.

    What About the Future?

    What will the mountain do next? This was the question uppermost in people’s minds in that area in the weeks following the explosion. By the end of May geologists discovered that a dome was beginning to form in the crater of Mt. St. Helens. Flying over the crater they saw “churning, glowing” molten rock forming this dome. However, later eruptions have blown up this dome and rained ash over wide areas.

    As molten rock is forced upward and stacks up, the top cools and this new material pushes up and sideways to form a dome. Such lava domes often increase the height of a mountain. In 1957 a mountain in eastern Siberia erupted and thereafter a lava dome was formed that rose nearly a thousand feet in one year.

    Will Mt. St. Helens ever erupt with spectacular lava flows down its sides, as the Hawaiian volcanoes do? The geologists say that’s not possible. The volcanoes in the Cascade range of mountains​—Mt. St. Helens’ location​—have molten rock that is thicker and cannot flow in that way. Just as a spilled milk shake does not run like water, so the molten rock in Mt. St. Helens will not flow down hillsides like the lava of the Hawaiian volcanoes.

    Mt. St. Helens could keep spouting off, hurling up rock and ash, for the next 30 years.

    Certainly that beautiful and majestic mountain that once enthralled tourists lost much of her appeal when she blew her top. Once 9,677 feet high, she now is some 1,300 feet lower down. Will she make a comeback as some future lava dome builds up? Only time will tell.

    [Footnotes]

    a 1 foot = .3 meter.

    b 1 mile = 1.6 kilometers.

    [Box on page 15]

    CASUALTY LIST OF WILDLIFE

    5,250 ROOSEVELT ELK

    6,000 BLACK-TAILED DEER

    200 BLACK BEARS

    100 MOUNTAIN GOATS

    15 MOUNTAIN LIONS

    441,000 SALMON, STEELHEAD AND OTHER TROUT

    1.5 MILLION BIRDS AND SMALL MAMMALS

    The numbers seem unbelievable, but not when you realize that the blast blew a cubic mile of earth off the top of Mt. St. Helens. Ten miles from the crater the blast hurled a 10-ton Caterpillar bulldozer 1,100 feet through the air. Biologists have called this the greatest natural wildlife disaster in American history.

    Many animals were killed at the time of the explosion, but many of the losses will be long term. Animals at the edge of the blast zone survived and moved into adjoining green areas, which will overload those areas and result in starvation.

    Three hundred miles of salmon and trout streams and 26 lakes were heavily damaged. In addition, 11 million fingerling coho and Chinook salmon were lost when the Toutle River hatchery was flooded by ash- and mud-laden water.

    After examining surviving trout in some streams, game department biologists said: “See those nicks and jagged edges, and the pale coloration? The ash is cutting up their gills. They’ll never make it.”

    Ash fallout in the Columbia basin, 100 miles away, showed pheasant nest desertion rates of up to 90 percent. Desertion rates for waterfowl nests at Moses Lake, in the same area, were in the 85 percent to 90 percent range.

    An encouraging note: deer have been spotted in the blast zone, eating new vegetation that is growing up through the ash. Game biologist Rich Poelker found good signs of forage returning, young plants growing through the ash. He said: “I see lots of ants, but no other insects. And I haven’t seen nor heard any birds.” His final comment: “I guess you could sum it all up by saying that it will take a long, long time, but the birds will sing again on Mt. St. Helens.”

    [Full-page picture on page 13]

    The Lady Was Not Bluffing!

    The Lady Was Not Bluffing!

    Personal account of one of Jehovah’s Witnesses living in Spokane, Washington, at the time of the Mt. St. Helens eruption

    WE ALL went to the meeting at the Kingdom Hall on Sunday morning, May 18, with no hint of what was to come. In the afternoon the sky was darkening. We thought a thunderstorm was brewing because of the sultry air and black clouds. It soon became apparent, however, that this was no ordinary storm. By two o’clock the sun became invisible and it was like midnight. The birds went to roost, dogs and cats struggled to get indoors and an eerie hush fell over everything.

    Then, without warning, it began to fall​—the volcanic ash, light gray in color, said to resemble the moon dust the astronauts brought back. Soon everything was covered with this weird dust. Sparkling from the glass particles in it, this dust was carried by the wind into every nook and cranny. It was horrible, yet strangely fascinating. It left Spokane and surrounding towns paralyzed.

    You couldn’t drive your car more than a few miles until the air filter clogged up and had to be cleaned or replaced. Oil had to be changed every few hundred miles. Visibility was near zero at times, and the highways were lined with disabled cars or those involved in accidents. Breathing was difficult, even with the masks we all wore. Those with respiratory diseases suffered the most.

    For two days and nights no one but civil employees dared go out of the house, so terrible were conditions. Mother had gone to Tim and Donna’s and there she stayed. Fortunately, Dave and I had laid in a supply of groceries the day before, so we didn’t do too badly. Others, though, who were out of supplies did without​—bread, milk, other staples. Some of the little towns that rely on Spokane wholesalers ran out of food in their local grocery stores.

    Now, as I write this five days after St. Helens blew her top, no one knows the effect the fallout will have on livestock and crops. So far the livestock seem all right. The biggest problem with stock or pets is eye irritation. The glass in the dust is abrasive and causes the eyes to burn.

    This is without doubt the strangest thing we’ve ever gone through. As soon as the disaster struck, Jehovah’s Witnesses began calling one another to see if any needed help. Sometimes it took 10 minutes or more to get the message through.

    All roads in and out of town were closed. All trains, planes, buses and other kinds of commercial transportation ground to a halt.

    The cleanup of the ash is most difficult, as it blows away faster than you can shovel or sweep it up. Only a few inches of the stuff, however, on a roof can cause the roof to cave in. It’s unbelievably heavy! Yet a gust of wind sends it sailing into eyes, nose and throat, and over all your lawn and garden.

    We will not know for a while whether the worst is over. The mountain is rumbling again, threatening another outburst. In all the previous speculation over a possible eruption, no one dreamed it would blast off like this. In fact, most people said the lady was bluffing, until last Sunday morning, May 18.

    Now no one takes Mt. St. Helens for granted.​—Contributed.

    [Diagram on page 16]

    (For fully formatted text, see publication)

    as the ash flies

    Mount St. Helens Spokane

    240 miles

    Mary—Can She Help?

    Mary​—Can She Help?

    By “Awake!” correspondent in Brazil

    “IT WILL BE the most important demonstration of faith in the western world.” Thus was announced the dedication of a shrine of the Virgin Mary during the visit of Pope John Paul II, the first by any pope, to Brazil. Since about 90 percent of Brazil’s 120 million people profess Catholicism, the potential was there. And the multitudes who swarmed to see the pope seemed to support the above announcement.

    The 12-day papal visit was a full one. Beginning with the nation’s capital, Brasília, the pope visited 13 cities. He ordained 74 priests in Rio de Janeiro, opened the eucharistic congress in Fortaleza, visited a prison in Brasília, a slum area in Rio de Janeiro, and leprosariums in Salvador and Belém. The pope delivered about 70 discourses on various subjects: social justice, violence, materialism, youth, and family planning. But, for Brazilians, the climax was the consecration of the national shrine of the Virgin Mary in Aparecida, a small city midway between Rio de Janeiro and São Paulo.

    The shrine of Our Lady Aparecida gets its name from the way in which a small image of Mary was found (Aparecida means “appeared, suddenly found”) in 1717. According to the story, three fishermen were assigned to provide fish for the governor of the state. After fishing for some time without success, they drew in their net, but, instead of fish, they had landed a small headless image. Another cast of the net and they pulled up the head of the image. From then on, they caught so many fish that the boat was in danger of sinking.

    This “miracle” was the beginning of the devotion given to Our Lady Aparecida, whose 43-cm (17-in.) image is now enshrined in the basilica. This shrine is reported to be second in size only to that of St. Peter’s in the Vatican. So the long-awaited consecration of the basilica was billed as an event of great importance.

    But more was expected from the visit.

    One newspaper declared that the “Pope comes to promote unity of the Church” and “will be received by the entire nation as a pastor who preaches peace.” That the unity and peace of the Catholic Church in Brazil were in danger there was little doubt.

    For weeks prior to the visit there was much publicity about the differences among Brazil’s cardinals and bishops as to the Church’s role in social matters. According to the pope’s emissary, ‘He (the pope) is well informed on the differences, and comes to stimulate unity and friendship among the religious.’ The Daily Post wrote of the “battle between the traditional and the reform wings of the Church,” and concluded: ‘The action that the Church and the Pope will take is designed to ensure the survival of the Church in Brazil.’

    Highlighting another problem confronting the Church, the papal nuncio in Brazil, Carmine Rocco, declared, “We have very few ordinations.” Commenting on this, Veja reported: “Brazil may be the largest Catholic country in the world but Brazilians certainly are one of the least enthusiastic peoples today in serving the Church: in the whole country with its presumed 90 millions of declared Catholics, it was possible to prepare only 74 citizens to be ordained as priests by Pope John Paul II. . . . The scarcity of priests . . . is one of the problems that most troubles the Brazilian Church today, . . . worse than that, there are no people interested in being a priest.”

    Can Mary Help?

    With these problems in mind, and in view of the consecration of her shrine in Aparecida, sincere Catholics could reasonably ask: Can Mary help the Church in this crisis? Can she help me solve my problems? Reflect a moment on what she has already done.

    All mankind today is indebted to Mary for having been used to bring forth into the world God’s Son, Jesus Christ, so he could provide a ransom from sin and death. Moreover, in her chastity, humility, faith and obedience, Mary set a fine example for Christian women. Consider the following: When informed that she would give birth to a son by holy spirit, she humbly agreed, saying, “Look! Jehovah’s slave girl! May it take place with me according to your declaration.”​—Luke 1:38.

    Later, when “heavy with child,” Mary did not complain when she had to travel with her husband to register in their native city, nor when they had to lodge in a stable, resulting in the child’s being born in there. A few days afterward, recognizing her own imperfections, she obediently presented herself at the temple for her purification according to the Mosaic law. (Luke 2:1-7, 22-24; Lev. 12:1-6) Yes, Mary has already done much.

    But, what about now? Is Mary the one to whom to turn for help? Many believe she is. One journal commented: “This faith in their saint is observed not only in the existence of the Basilica. . . . in the Hall of the Miracles, . . . there are piled up crutches, enormous crosses, photographs and hundreds of objects with which the pilgrims claim to testify to the graces and miracles conceded by the Patron Saint.” A newsmagazine reported: “The Pope gives special importance to devotion to Our Lady, placing in his pontifical shield the classic symbol of the Virgin: the ‘M’ as in Mary.” Also, during his consecration discourse, he referred to Mary as “the mother of God” and as being ‘venerated and invoked as Mother and patron saint, mediator and advocate.’

    Unhappily, many who have invoked the help of Mary and other ‘saints’ have been disillusioned. Consider, for example, the situation of Catholics in Chile and Peru, whose patron “saints” are the Virgin of Carmen and Santa Rosa. Many Chilean women dress in brown all their life to show their devotion to the Virgin of Carmen. But what happened in the War of the Pacific (1879-1883)? Vows and prayers were made by Chileans to the Virgin of Carmen and by Peruvians to Santa Rosa while their armies were engaged in mortal combat. Chile defeated Peru. Did this mean that the Virgin of Carmen was more powerful than Santa Rosa?

    Might it be that what the Bible says about prayer is being overlooked​—that acceptable prayers are to be directed to someone else and through someone else and for something very different? (See for yourself what the Bible says at Luke 11:2; Philippians 4:6; John 14:6; 15:16; James 4:1-3; 1 John 3:22; 5:14.)

    Equally disturbing in Brazil is the intermingling of devotion to Mary with that given to Iemanjá, an Afro-Brazilian goddess. Dominican Friar Raimundo de Almeida Cintra said that for the practitioners of Candoblé, a form of voodooism, “there is a real identification . . . between Iemanjá and Our Lady of the Conception.” (Italics added) According to the same friar, the documents of Vatican Council II “invite us to assimilate and incorporate some of these elements [of different religions].” (Italics added) Hence, it is not surprising to find statues of Mary and Iemanjá on the same altar for veneration and prayers being addressed to Iemanjá in the same style and rhythm as those of the Catholic Church.

    This intermingling of cults raises the question: Who receives the veneration, Mary or Iemanjá? Moreover, a report indicates that 70 percent of nominal Catholics in Brazil also practice some form of spiritism. So it can be understood why one of the objectives of the pope’s visit was “to ensure survival of the Church in Brazil.” It was hoped that a massive gathering for the consecration of the basilica might help ‘many faithful ones to return to Aparecida to renew their faith.’

    However, in regard to venerating any creature, human or otherwise, Catholics should have in mind what an angel told the apostle John when he fell down to worship the angel. He said: “Be careful! Do not do that! . . . Worship God.”​—Rev. 19:10.

    In view of the foregoing, and in spite of the crowds who flocked to see the pope during his visit, do you feel there exists a solid basis for believing that Mary can be of help to you or to the Church in Brazil?

    Source of Help

    What will help sincere Catholics is well illustrated by the experience of a Chilean woman dedicated to the Virgin Mary. Her daughter, who was studying the Bible, told her mother that it was not right to call on “Holy Mary, mother of God.” One day she asked her mother, “Who made the world?” “God, of course,” was the answer. “Then, how can he have a mother?”

    After meditating for some time on that question, the mother began to ask questions, and the daughter suggested: “The next time Jehovah’s Witnesses pass by, why not ask them to explain it to you from the Bible?” She did so, and after a few discussions, using her own Catholic Bible, she learned that Mary was not the mother of God, but was the mother of Jesus, God’s Son. She learned, too, that God does not approve of the use of images in worship and so she disposed of all she had. She has come to appreciate the value of what the Bible says at Psalm 121:1, 2: “From where will my help come? My help is from Jehovah, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

    As a sincere Catholic, have you wondered about the reason for the disunity in your Church, or the lack of “friendship among the religious” or the rampant mixing of pagan rites with Catholic ones? A knowledge of the Bible will help to answer your questions. During the past years, Jehovah’s Witnesses have helped thousands of Catholics, spiritists and others to gain this knowledge. They will be happy to help you too. Why not do the same as the Chilean woman mentioned above and take time to talk to Jehovah’s Witnesses the next time they pass by your way?

    “This Religious Faith of the Scientist”

    “This Religious Faith of the Scientist”

    THE PREVAILING scientific theory is that the universe had a beginning, known as the Big Bang and also postulating an expanding universe. It harmonizes with the first verse of the Bible, which speaks of a beginning for the universe. Robert Jastrow comments on this in his book “God and the Astronomers” (1978):

    “Theologians generally are delighted with the proof that the Universe had a beginning, but astronomers are curiously upset.” He quotes some of the reactions over the idea of an expanding universe. Albert Einstein: “This circumstance irritates me.” British astronomer Sir Arthur Eddington: “The notion of a beginning is repugnant to me . . . it leaves me cold.” Phillip Morrison of MIT: “I would like to reject it.” Allan Sandage of Palomar Observatory: “It cannot really be true.” Jastrow continues:

    “Their reactions provide an interesting demonstration of the response of the scientific mind​—supposedly a very objective mind—​when evidence uncovered by science itself leads to a conflict with the articles of faith in our profession. It turns out that the scientist behaves the way the rest of us do when our beliefs are in conflict with the evidence. We become irritated, we pretend the conflict does not exist, or we paper it over with meaningless phrases.” Later on Jastrow comments: “There is a kind of religion in science . . . This religious faith of the scientist is violated by the discovery that the world had a beginning . . .”

    I Was Saved from Suicide

    I Was Saved from Suicide

    BECAUSE of my interracial common-law marriage, my parents disowned me, with my father vowing to take my life if he ever saw me again. I was caught between two worlds, neither of which accepted me, and I refused to make a choice. I despised this world of suffering and hatred and I tried everything to change it​—communism, hippie way of life, women’s liberation, fighting for what I thought was right. Then I began to develop a hate for God as he is taught by the churches. I decided that even if I did have to burn in a fiery hell, I would not serve that kind of God.

    But after two years of fighting this system and its god, my spirit broke. I decided to take my life. One last time I prayed to a God I did not know. In my ignorance I told God that if he cared anything about me he had better do something before two o’clock that day, or I would take my life. And completely forgetting that prayer, I began to prepare to do just that.

    Before two o’clock one of Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked at my door. This particular Witness had come to my house so many times I couldn’t count them all. Always she found me sleeping. I always took her literature but I also let my contempt show for her God. This day when she came I yelled at her in an angry and abusive manner. When she began to tell me about the God she worshiped, however, for the first time I began to listen. She explained that it was not God’s will to have a rotten world filled with starving people and deformed children. Her words gave me a ray of hope, and I began to study the Bible with her. Shortly thereafter I dedicated my life to Jehovah and got baptized.

    The knowledge that this system will end, and that there is a God who is all the things that he says he is, has brought me a peace of mind and heart that I had not experienced since I was a young child. Jehovah has blessed my now-legal marriage with two fine sons. And in Jehovah’s organization there are friends who really love me.

    But none of these blessings​—and there are many more—​would be possible without the life I have now. If Jehovah had not heard my prayer, and if that dear Witness had not made that return visit on me, I would be dead. But I am not, and this life belongs to Jehovah until time indefinite.​—Contributed.

    A Way to Settle Disputes

    A Way to Settle Disputes

    IN THESE critical times hard to deal with, individuals and nations alike often prove themselves to be “not open to any agreement.” Often the only point that disputing parties agree on is that they disagree.​—2 Tim. 3:1, 3.

    But when wrongs or misunderstandings arise, is there no sure way to settle them, to bury them in unmarked graves?

    Yes, there is a way. When applied exactly as laid out, and in the proper attitude, this way resolves differences justly. And in most cases happily. But it will not work smoothly and rewardingly for all concerned unless all parties agree to accept and abide by the principles invoked.

    These principles were set out in instructions given by Christ Jesus for the guidance of Christian congregations of the first century C.E. They are still used effectively in the congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses around the world. Let’s examine these principles, for they are also of benefit to all persons when they seek to settle personal disputes.

    Jesus Christ outlined the way in three steps:

    STEP ONE:

    “If your brother commits a sin, go lay bare his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”​—Matt. 18:15.

    Isn’t it generally a nobler and kinder thing, when discussing faults, to do so privately? But here Jesus was not referring to trivial differences. As the context reveals, he was referring to matters serious enough that they could lead to a person’s expulsion from the congregation of believers.

    Why Just “Between You and Him Alone”?

    Consider some reasons why the first step should be attempted strictly between yourselves, privately, person to person. For one thing, your resolve to sound out matters calls for you to examine your personal motives. Do you simply want to vent your feelings? Or seek retribution? Is the matter really that serious? Have you really been wronged so terribly? Was it possibly all a mistake? Bear in mind what your motive should be: to gain your brother. To win him over, to gain him back. To aid him to remain a fellow servant of God.

    Your attempt to keep the matter strictly private should win his respect. It takes courage to make a private approach. How much easier it would be to pour your grievance out on others. But would that be in harmony with “Step One”?

    Also, by revealing the details of your differences to others, you, yourself, could end up embarrassed and humiliated. “Plead your own cause with your fellowman, and do not reveal the confidential talk of another; that the one listening may not put you to shame and the bad report by you can have no recall.” (Prov. 25:9, 10) How might the one listening put you to shame? Well, what if he asked you, “Have you tried Step One?” When you admit you have not, he might remind you that there are at least two sides to every issue, yours and the other person’s. And very often even a third side, the right side. “The one first in his legal case is righteous; his fellow comes in and certainly searches him through.” (Prov. 18:17) Jesus, of course, was referring to an unquestionable fault, an unmistakable sin. But is your evidence beyond question and your understanding of matters beyond searching out? What better way is there to determine this than a private hearing of the matter?

    What if the situation were reversed? What if the other person feels you have wronged him? Would you not want to know about it so that the matter could be adjusted? This would give you the opportunity to search him out and be “settling matters quickly”? (Matt. 5:25) Would this not be better than to allow the grievance to hurt and fester until possibly the offended person publicized his grievance against you?

    But what if Step One fails? Do you still feel you must try to gain your brother by pursuing the issue? So far, your differences have been kept strictly confidential, at least by you. What next?

    STEP TWO:

    “But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two more, in order that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every matter may be established.”​—Matt. 18:16.

    Why Take Along “One or Two More”?

    Do you know one or two persons who might be mature and perhaps experienced in the kind of situation involved, and who might be objective and impartial toward both of you? If you do not, perhaps an elder in the congregation could recommend someone, even arrange the meeting for you.

    But does this mean you are now at liberty to pour out your grievances or charges to whomever you approach? It does not. You simply state words to the effect, ‘I have a problem with So-and-So, and I’m afraid it affects his spiritual well-being. I have tried Step One and failed to win him over. Now I am asking for help in taking Step Two. I am asking for one or two persons to meet with us and hear both sides.’ No one should hear the details from either party until that meeting. That way no one will form a preconceived opinion or hear either of you say things behind each other’s back that you might not say to each other’s face.

    Step Two is not a judicial committee hearing. It is simply a reinforced effort to gain your brother. Instead of trying alone you now have the help of one or two more. If your evidence is unshakable and your attitude is indeed to ‘gain your brother,’ you now have witnesses.

    But what if Step Two fails? At least you have divulged matters only before persons Scripturally authorized to hear them. You are now supported by creditable witnesses that the offending party stands charged with a matter that could possibly merit his removal from fellowship with the congregation. But this involves a final

    STEP THREE:

    “If he does not listen to them, speak to the congregation.”​—Matt. 18:17.

    How Do You “Speak to the Congregation”?

    The congregation is represented by its body of elders. And in this case the congregation is represented by a judicial committee appointed either by themselves or by another proper authority. So now your problem is brought to the attention of the elders. How?

    Do you ask for a hearing before the entire body of elders? Would that be necessary or practical? At this point you are not asking to be heard by any of them, at least not in the absence of the offending party. You are asking for a hearing before a designated judicial committee. You are simply notifying one or more elders that you have a problem with So-and-So, that you have tried Step One and Step Two. Now you are asking that Step Three be taken:

    “If he [the offending party] does not listen even to the congregation [through its judicial committee], let him be to you just as a man of the nations and as a tax collector.”​—Matt. 18:17.

    Three times you have attempted to gain your brother. In each attempt you have proceeded in the proper way. Yet the facts of the case have not been divulged to anyone outside those Scripturally authorized to hear and decide. So far as you are concerned the matter has not become a topic of conversation in the congregation.

    True, all differences may not be settled so that you can gain your brother, if he is not willing. But even though you felt obligated to pursue the hearing of the matter to whatever extent necessary, your motive was really one of peace. “If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be peaceable with all men.”​—Rom. 12:18.

    These principles for settling disputes that Jesus set forth are practical. They work. If such Christian principles were followed by everyone the world certainly would be a better place in which to live.

    Learning What Love Really Is

    Learning What Love Really Is

    As related by a family man in Japan

    THE circumstances of my youth stifled the development of intense love for other people. My father died when I was only two months old. Mother entered another household in common-law marriage but turned me over to others for upbringing. As a lad of 10 years I was returned to my mother, but I never experienced the warmth of family life. Mother was addicted to gambling, and she took me along to the gambling dens.

    By the time I got married at 25 years of age, I too was a gambling addict. Every day followed the same pattern. During the day I engaged in sales activity, which gave me opportunity to go to horse races and boat races. Nights were set aside for Mah-Jongg (a form of gambling), and I would get home at around midnight. Gambling led me into serious trouble, cost me my job and put a heavy financial burden on both my family and that of my wife.

    Time after time I tried to quit but failed. I felt it was fate or something I had inherited from my mother. I became terrified that all my life I would not be able to stop gambling. Depressed about my future, I decided to commit suicide. But when I climbed to the roof of a building, the faces of my two sons flashed into my mind and I could not jump.

    Though married, I did not know that love is what binds a family together, that it makes it a mutually healthy and joyful arrangement. Never having received such love from my father and mother, I did not really know what it was. So I could not understand my wife’s sympathy because of my upbringing​—her desire to make a warm family with me and her endurance even though I kept betraying her confidence. In time, however, I was to come to appreciate not just the love of my wife but also a much greater love.

    Recognizing the danger of my working away from home, my wife strongly urged me to start a business in our house. So I got a quick loan and remodeled our house in order to open a Mah-Jongg business. I liked Mah-Jongg and put my energy into the business. It flourished and I was able to make steady payments on the loan. But my wife was very unhappy because of family problems. On top of that, my wife, at times hysterical, felt that I must be watched so I wouldn’t fall back into my former habits. Living with such a situation, I became utterly worn out mentally and physically.

    …