The Watchtower, October 15, 1992

Download: PDF — The Watchtower, October 15, 1992

The Watchtower — October 15, 1992

Source: jw.org

Contents

The Family Under Assault!

Family Distress—A Sign of the Times

Jehovah’s Loving Family Arrangement

Work to Preserve Your Family Into God’s New World

Baptism “Into the Name Of”

Elders—Delegate!

Truth Saturates the Village of Many Waters

A Model Hebrew Bible Manuscript

Questions From Readers

Prophecy Fulfilled

Would You Welcome a Visit?

The Family Under Assault!

The Family Under Assault!

“FAMILY is the oldest human institution. In many ways it is the most important. It is society’s most basic unit. Entire civilizations have survived or disappeared, depending on whether family life was strong or weak.”

So said The World Book Encyclopedia back in 1973. Viewed from today’s perspective, however, those words take on an ominous, almost foreboding, tone. The last few years have witnessed what amounts to a frontal assault on family life. Popular counselor John Bradshaw writes: “There is a crisis in the family today. . . . The high divorce rate, teenage disorders, massive drug abuse, epidemic incest, eating disorders and physical battering are evidence that something is radically wrong.”

Indeed, “evidence that something is radically wrong” with the family can be found all over the world. The Unesco Courier said regarding the situation in Europe: “Since 1965, there has been a big increase in the number of divorces throughout the continent. . . . [There] has been an increase in the number of single-parent families.” Developing lands are likewise seeing an increase in family distress. Writer Hélène Tremblay observes: “For millions of people living in societies that have known a regular, predictable, unchanging way of life for centuries, today is a time of tumult.”

Particularly alarming is the environment existing in many homes today. In the United States alone, millions upon millions of children are being raised by an alcoholic parent. There has also been an appalling increase in family violence. In their book Intimate Violence, researchers Richard Gelles and Murray Straus report: “You are more likely to be physically assaulted, beaten, and killed in your own home at the hands of a loved one than anyplace else, or by anyone else in our society.”

If civilization’s survival really depends upon the strength of the family, there is reason to fear for civilization’s future. Still, the fate of civilization may be the very least of your worries. More than likely your concern is what such turmoil may portend for your family. What will the outcome be? The answer from an authoritative source may very well surprise you.

Family Distress—A Sign of the Times

Family Distress​—A Sign of the Times

FAMILY distress​—many see it as a sign that the traditional rules of marriage and parenting are obsolete. Others see it as the product of political, economic, and social change. Still others see it as just one more casualty of modern technology. In reality the problems families grapple with today point to something of far greater significance. Note the Bible’s words at 2 Timothy 3:1-4:

“Know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God.”

Do not these words get to the very root of today’s problems? Today’s family distress is clearly a direct result of the conditions prophesied to take place during this world’s last days. And there is persuasive evidence that this period of distress began in the year 1914.a Since then, the influence of the superhuman spirit creature called Satan the Devil has been particularly lethal.​—Matthew 4:8-10; 1 John 5:19.

Confined since 1914 to the vicinity of the earth, Satan has “great anger, knowing he has a short period of time.” (Revelation 12:7-12) Since Satan is a sworn enemy of the God “to whom every family in heaven and on earth owes its name,” is it any wonder that earth has become a hazardous place for families? (Ephesians 3:15) Satan is determined to turn all mankind away from God. In what better way could he accomplish this than by assaulting families with problems?

It will take more than the glib theories of presumed experts to shield families from such a superhuman attack. Nevertheless, the Bible says of Satan: “We are not ignorant of his designs.” (2 Corinthians 2:11) There is a measure of protection in knowing some of the specific ways in which he makes his assault.

Money and Work

Economic pressure is one of Satan’s most potent weapons of assault. These are “critical times hard to deal with,” or as the Revised Standard Version renders 2 Timothy 3:1, “times of stress.” In developing lands, problems such as unemployment, low wages, and shortage of basic necessities cause families much hardship. However, even in the relatively affluent United States, economic pressures take their toll. One U.S. survey revealed that money is one of the main causes of family conflict. The book Secrets of Strong Families explains that the “time, attention, [and] energy” devoted to meeting the demands of work can also be a “subtle enemy” that erodes marital commitment.

Circumstances have forced record numbers of women into the job market. Writer Vance Packard reports: “Presently, at least a fourth of America’s infants and toddlers under age three have mothers who hold down some sort of an outside job.” Caring for the almost insatiable needs of small children as well as a job can be a grueling, exhausting endeavor​—with negative effects upon both parents and children. Packard adds that because of the shortage of adequate child-care provisions in the United States, “quite a few million children today are being short-changed on good care in their early years.”​—Our Endangered Children.

The workplace itself often undermines family harmony. Many workers are drawn into illicit affairs with workmates. Still others become caught up in a vain quest for success and sacrifice their family life for career advancement. (Compare Ecclesiastes 4:4.) One man became so consumed with his job as a sales representative that his wife described herself as a “de facto single parent.”

Weakened Marital Ties

The marriage institution itself has also come under assault. Says the book The Intimate Environment: “In the past, the expectation was that a couple would stay married unless one of the spouses committed some gross offense against the marriage​—adultery, cruelty, extreme neglect. Now most people see the purpose of marriage as personal fulfillment.” Yes, marriage is treated as an antidote for unhappiness, boredom, or loneliness​—not as a lifelong commitment to another person. The focus now is on what you get out of marriage, not what you put into it. (Contrast Acts 20:35.) This “major change in the values surrounding marriage” has greatly weakened marital ties. When personal fulfillment eludes their grasp, couples often seize upon divorce as a quick solution.

People in these “last days” are described prophetically in the Bible as “having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power.” (2 Timothy 3:4, 5) Many experts feel that the decline in religion has played a role in undermining marriage. In her book The Case Against Divorce, Dr. Diane Medved wrote: “According to most religions, God said marriage was to be permanent. When you aren’t sure about God or don’t believe in Him, then you do what you want.” As a result, when a marriage has problems, couples do not seek sound solutions. “They hastily junk the entire endeavor.”

Youths Under Attack

Children are reeling from today’s pressures. Shocking numbers of children are being violently battered and verbally or sexually abused by their own parents. Through divorce, millions more are deprived of having the loving influence of two parents, and the pain of parental divorce often lasts a lifetime.

Youths are bombarded by powerful influences. By the time an average American youth is 14 years old, he will have witnessed 18,000 killings and countless other forms of violence, illicit sex, sadism, and crime simply by watching television. Music also exerts great power on youths, and much of it is shockingly suggestive, sexually explicit, or even satanic in content. Schools expose youths to theories such as evolution that tend to undermine faith in God and the Bible. Peer pressure prompts many to participate in premarital sex and alcohol or drug abuse.

The Roots of Family Distress

The assault on families is therefore broad in scope and can be devastating. What can help families survive? Family counselor John Bradshaw suggests: “Our parenting rules have not been seriously updated in 150 years. . . . My belief is that the old rules no longer work.” However, more man-made rules are not the solution. Jehovah God is the Originator of the family. He knows better than anyone else how important a role family life plays in our personal happiness and what it takes to make a family happy and strong. Should it surprise us that his Word, the Bible, provides the solution to family distress?

That ancient book explains how family life went awry. The first human couple, Adam and Eve, were placed in a beautiful garden setting and given the rewarding challenge of transforming the earth into a global paradise. God decreed that Adam was to be the head of the family. Eve was to cooperate with his headship as his “helper,” or “complement.” But Eve rebelled at this arrangement. She usurped her husband’s headship and disobeyed the one and only prohibition God had placed upon them. Adam then abdicated his headship and joined her in this revolt.​—Genesis 1:26–3:6.

The destructive effects of this deviation from God’s arrangement became apparent immediately. No longer pure and innocent, Adam and Eve reacted with shame and guilt. Adam, who had earlier described his wife in glowing, poetic terms, now coldly referred to her as ‘the woman you gave me.’ That negative remark was simply the beginning of marital misery. Adam’s vain attempts to regain his headship would result in his ‘dominating her.’ Eve, in turn, would have a “craving” for her husband, likely in an excessive or unbalanced way.​—Genesis 2:23; 3:7-16.

Not surprisingly, Adam and Eve’s marital strife had a damaging impact upon their offspring. Their first son, Cain, became a cold-blooded murderer. (Genesis 4:8) Lamech, a descendant of Cain, added to the decline of family life by becoming the first polygamist of record. (Genesis 4:19) Adam and Eve thus passed on not only a legacy of sin and death but a sick family pattern that has been the lot of the human race ever since. During these last days, family discord has reached an all-time peak.

Families That Thrive

Not all families, however, are buckling under today’s pressures. One husband, for example, lives with his wife and two daughters in a small community in the United States. Though many of their neighbors have a generation gap between parents and their offspring, he and his wife do not, nor are they worried that their daughters might experiment with drugs or sex. On Monday evenings, when other youths are glued to the TV, their entire family is gathered around the dining-room table for a Bible discussion. “Monday night is our special night to be together and talk,” he explains. “Our daughters feel free to talk out their problems with us.”

On the other hand, there is a single parent in New York City who also enjoys an unusual family cohesiveness with her two daughters. Her secret? “We keep the TV turned off until the weekend,” she explains. “We have a daily discussion of a Bible text. We also set aside one evening for a family Bible discussion.”

Both families are Jehovah’s Witnesses. They follow the counsel for families set out in the Bible​—and it works. Yet, they are not exceptions. There are hundreds of thousands of families just like them who are obtaining good results by applying the rules for family life found in that book.b Just what are those rules? How can they benefit you and your family? In answer we invite you to consider the articles beginning on the next page.

[Footnotes]

For further evidence that the last days began in 1914, see chapter 18 of the book You Can Live Forever in Paradise on Earth, published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.

By means of a free home Bible study, Jehovah’s Witnesses offer personal assistance in applying Bible principles in the family. They can be contacted by writing the publishers of this magazine.

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Poor economic conditions cause much distress for families in developing lands

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U.S. Navy photo

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By applying Bible principles, many families are standing up to today’s pressures

Jehovah’s Loving Family Arrangement

Jehovah’s Loving Family Arrangement

“On account of this I bend my knees to the Father, to whom every family in heaven and on earth owes its name.”​—EPHESIANS 3:14, 15.

1, 2. (a) For what purpose did Jehovah create the family unit? (b) What part should the family have today in Jehovah’s arrangement?

JEHOVAH created the family unit. By means of it, he did more than satisfy the human need for companionship, support, or intimacy. (Genesis 2:18) The family was the means through which God’s glorious purpose to fill the earth was to be fulfilled. He told the first married couple: “Be fruitful and become many and fill the earth and subdue it.” (Genesis 1:28) The warm and nurturing environment of the family would prove beneficial for the multitude of children who would be born to Adam and Eve and their descendants.

2 That first couple, however, chose the course of disobedience​—with devastating results for themselves and their offspring. (Romans 5:12) Family life today is thus a distortion of what God wanted it to be. Still, the family continues to have an important place in Jehovah’s arrangement, serving as a basic unit of Christian society. This is not said with any lack of appreciation for the fine work being performed by the many unmarried Christians in our midst. Rather, we recognize the large contribution that families also make to the spiritual health of the Christian organization as a whole. Strong families make for strong congregations. How, though, can your family thrive in the face of today’s pressures? In answer, let us examine what the Bible has to say regarding the family arrangement.

The Family in Bible Times

3. What roles did the husband and the wife play in the patriarchal family?

3 Adam and Eve both spurned God’s headship arrangement. But men of faith, such as Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Job, rightfully took their places, as family heads. (Hebrews 7:4) The patriarchal family was like a small government, the father acting as religious leader, instructor, and judge. (Genesis 8:20; 18:19) Wives also had an important role, serving not as slaves but as assistant household managers.

4. How did family life change under the Mosaic Law, but what role did parents continue to play?

4 When Israel became a nation in 1513 B.C.E., family law became subordinate to the national Law given through Moses. (Exodus 24:3-8) Authority to decide, including on life-and-death matters, was now given to appointed judges. (Exodus 18:13-26) The Levitical priesthood took over the sacrificial aspects of worship. (Leviticus 1:2-5) Nevertheless, the father continued to play an important role. Moses exhorted fathers: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7) Mothers had considerable influence. Proverbs 1:8 commanded youths: “Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” Yes, within the framework of her husband’s authority, the Hebrew wife could make​—and enforce—​family law. She was to be honored by her children even after she had grown old.​—Proverbs 23:22.

5. How did the Mosaic Law define the place of children in the family arrangement?

5 The place of children was also clearly defined by God’s Law. Said Deuteronomy 5:16: “Honor your father and your mother, just as Jehovah your God has commanded you; in order that your days may prove long and it may go well with you on the ground that Jehovah your God is giving you.” Disrespect for one’s parents was a most serious offense under the Mosaic Law. (Exodus 21:15, 17) “In case there should be any man who calls down evil upon his father and his mother,” stated the Law, “he should be put to death without fail.” (Leviticus 20:9) Rebellion against one’s parents was tantamount to rebellion against God himself.

The Role of Christian Husbands

6, 7. Why did Paul’s words at Ephesians 5:23-29 seem revolutionary to his first-century readers?

6 Christianity shed light upon the family arrangement, in particular upon the role of the husband. Outside of the Christian congregation, it was common for husbands in the first century to treat their wives in a harsh, oppressive manner. Women were denied basic rights and dignity. The Expositor’s Bible says: “The cultivated Greek took a wife for the production of children. Her rights put no restriction upon his appetite. Love was not in the marriage contract. . . . The slave-woman had no rights. Her body was at her owner’s disposal.”

7 In such a climate, Paul penned the words of Ephesians 5:23-29: “A husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. . . . Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it . . . Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it.” To first-century readers, these words were nothing short of revolutionary. Says The Expositor’s Bible: “Nothing in Christianity appeared more novel and more severe, in comparison with the dissolute morals of the time, than the Christian view of marriage. . . . [It] opened a new era for mankind.”

8, 9. What unhealthy attitudes toward women are common among men, and why is it important that Christian men reject such viewpoints?

8 The Bible’s counsel for husbands is no less revolutionary today. Despite all the talk of women’s liberation, women are still viewed by many men as mere objects for sexual gratification. Believing the myth that women actually enjoy being dominated, controlled, or bullied, many men physically and emotionally abuse their wives. How disgraceful it would be for a Christian man to be swayed by worldly thinking and to treat his wife abusively! “My husband was a ministerial servant and gave public talks,” says one Christian woman. Yet, she reveals, “I was a victim of wife beating.” Clearly, such actions were out of harmony with God’s arrangement. That man was a rare exception; he needed to seek help to deal with his rage if he hoped to have God’s favor.​—Galatians 5:19-21.

9 Husbands are commanded by God to be loving their wives as their own bodies. Refusing to do so is rebellion against the very arrangement of God and can undermine one’s relationship with God. The apostle Peter’s words are clear: “You husbands, continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, . . . in order for your prayers not to be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7) Treating one’s wife harshly could also have a devastating effect on her spirituality and the spirituality of one’s offspring.

10. What are some ways in which husbands can exercise headship in a Christlike manner?

10 Husbands, your family will flourish under your headship if you exercise it in a Christlike way. Christ was never harsh or abusive. On the contrary, he could say: “Learn from me, for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls.” (Matthew 11:29) Can your family say that of you? Christ treated his disciples as friends and put trust in them. (John 15:15) Do you grant your wife the same dignity? The Bible said of the “capable wife”: “In her the heart of her owner has put trust.” (Proverbs 31:10, 11) That means allowing her a measure of freedom and latitude, not hemming her in with unreasonable restrictions. Furthermore, Jesus encouraged his disciples to express their feelings and opinions. (Matthew 9:28; 16:13-15) Do you do likewise with your wife? Or do you view honest disagreement as a challenge to your authority? By taking your wife’s feelings into account rather than ignoring them, you actually build her respect for your headship.

11. (a) How can fathers care for the spiritual needs of their children? (b) Why must elders and ministerial servants set a good example in caring for their families?

11 If you are a father, you are also required to take the lead in caring for the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs of your children. That includes having a good spiritual routine for your family: working with them in the field service, conducting a home Bible study, discussing the day’s text. Interestingly, the Bible shows that an elder or a ministerial servant should be “a man presiding over his own household in a fine manner.” Men serving in these capacities should thus be exemplary family heads. While they may carry a heavy load of congregation responsibilities, they must give their own families priority. Paul showed why: “If indeed any man does not know how to preside over his own household, how will he take care of God’s congregation?”​—1 Timothy 3:4, 5, 12.

Supportive Christian Wives

12. What part does the wife play in the Christian arrangement?

12 Are you a Christian wife? Then you must also play a vital part in the family arrangement. Christian wives are exhorted “to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sound in mind, chaste, workers at home, good, subjecting themselves to their own husbands.” (Titus 2:4, 5) You should thus strive to be an exemplary housewife, maintaining a clean and pleasant home for your family. Domestic work may at times be tedious, but it is neither demeaning nor trivial. As wife, you “manage a household” and may enjoy considerable latitude in this regard. (1 Timothy 5:14) The “capable wife,” for example, purchased household supplies, made real-estate transactions, and even generated income by managing a small business. No wonder she earned her husband’s praise! (Proverbs, chapter 31) Naturally, such initiatives were made within the guidelines her husband gave as her head.

13. (a) Why may submission be difficult for some women? (b) Why is it advantageous for Christian women to submit themselves to their husbands?

13 Subjecting yourself to your husband may not always be easy, however. Not all men command respect. And you may well be quite capable when it comes to handling finances, planning, or organizing. You may have a secular job and make a substantial contribution to the family income. Or you may have suffered in some way from male domination in the past and may find it difficult to submit to a man. Nevertheless, showing “deep respect,” or “fear,” for your husband demonstrates your respect of God’s headship. (Ephesians 5:33, Kingdom Interlinear; 1 Corinthians 11:3) Submission is also crucial to the success of your family; it helps you to avoid subjecting your marriage to unnecessary stresses and strains.

14. What might a wife do when she disagrees with a decision made by her husband?

14 Does this mean, though, that you must be silent when you feel your husband is making a decision that works against your family’s best interests? Not necessarily. Abraham’s wife Sarah was not silent when she perceived a threat to the well-being of her son, Isaac. (Genesis 21:8-10) Similarly, you may sense an obligation to express your feelings at times. If this is done in a respectful way at “the right time,” a godly Christian man will listen. (Proverbs 25:11) But if your suggestion is not followed and no serious violation of a Bible principle is involved, would not going against your husband’s wishes be self-defeating? Remember, “the truly wise woman has built up her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” (Proverbs 14:1) One way to build up your house is to be supportive of your husband’s headship, praising his accomplishments while taking his mistakes in stride.

15. In what ways can a wife share in the discipline and training of her children?

15 Another way to build up your house is to share in the discipline and training of your children. For example, you can do your part to keep the family Bible study regular and upbuilding. “Do not let your hand rest” when it comes to sharing God’s truths with your children at every opportunity​—when traveling or simply shopping with them. (Ecclesiastes 11:6) Help them to prepare their comments for the meetings and parts on the Theocratic Ministry School. Keep an eye on their associations. (1 Corinthians 15:33) When it comes to matters of godly standards and discipline, let your children know that you and your husband are united. Do not allow them to play you against your husband.

16. (a) What Biblical example serves to encourage single parents and those married to unbelievers? (b) How may others in the congregation be of help to such ones?

16 If you are a single parent or have an unbelieving mate, you may very well have to take the lead spiritually. This may be difficult and at times even discouraging. But do not give up. Timothy’s mother, Eunice, succeeded in teaching him the holy Scriptures “from infancy,” despite her being married to an unbeliever. (2 Timothy 1:5; 3:15) And many in our midst are enjoying similar success. If you need some assistance in this regard, you might let your needs be known to the elders. They may be able to arrange for someone to help you get to meetings and out in field service. They may encourage others to include your family in recreational outings or gatherings. Or they may arrange to have an experienced publisher help you get a family study started.

Appreciative Children

17. (a) How can youths contribute to the family welfare? (b) What example did Jesus set in this regard?

17 Christian youths can contribute to the family’s welfare by following the counsel of Ephesians 6:1-3: “Children, be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord, for this is righteous: ‘Honor your father and your mother’; which is the first command with a promise: ‘That it may go well with you and you may endure a long time on the earth.’” By cooperating with your parents, you demonstrate your respect for Jehovah. Jesus Christ was perfect and could easily have reasoned that it was below his dignity to submit to imperfect parents. Yet, “he continued subject to them. . . . And Jesus went on progressing in wisdom and in physical growth and in favor with God and men.”​—Luke 2:51, 52.

18, 19. (a) What does it mean to honor one’s parents? (b) How can the home become a place of refreshment?

18 Should you not likewise honor your parents? “Honor” here means to recognize duly constituted authority. (Compare 1 Peter 2:17.) In most situations such honor is due even if one’s parents are unbelievers or are failing to set a good example. You should honor your parents all the more if they are exemplary Christians. Remember, too, that the discipline and direction given by your parents are not intended to restrict you unduly. Rather, they are to protect you so that you can “continue living.”​—Proverbs 7:1, 2.

19 What a loving arrangement, then, the family is! When husbands, wives, and children all follow God’s rules for family life, the home becomes a haven, a place of refreshment. Nevertheless, problems involving communication and child training may arise. Our next article discusses how some of these problems can be solved.

Do You Remember?

□ What pattern was set by God-fearing husbands, wives, and children in Bible times?

□ What light did Christianity shed upon the role of the husband?

□ What part should the wife play in the Christian family?

□ How can Christian youths contribute to the family’s welfare?

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“Nothing in Christianity appeared more novel and more severe, in comparison with the dissolute morals of the time, than the Christian view of marriage. . . . [It] opened a new era for mankind”

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Christian husbands encourage their wives to express their feelings, taking those feelings into account

Work to Preserve Your Family Into God’s New World

Work to Preserve Your Family Into God’s New World

“You yourself, O Jehovah, will guard them; you will preserve each one from this generation to time indefinite.”​—PSALM 12:7.

1, 2. (a) How are some families faring under the pressures of the last days? (b) How may Christian families seek to survive?

“TODAY my heart is filled with joy!” exclaimed one Christian elder named John. The cause of this exuberance? “My 14-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter were baptized,” he relates. But his joy did not end there. “My 17-year-old son and 16-year-old daughter have both been auxiliary pioneers this past year,” he adds.

2 Many families in our midst are having similarly fine results as they apply Bible principles. Some, though, are experiencing problems. “We have five children,” writes one Christian couple, “and it has grown progressively harder to deal with them. We have already lost one child to this old system. Our young teenagers seem to be Satan’s primary field of attack right now.” There are also couples who are experiencing severe marital strife, at times resulting in separation or divorce. Nevertheless, families that cultivate Christian qualities may survive the “great tribulation” and be preserved into God’s coming new world. (Matthew 24:21; 2 Peter 3:13) What, then, can you do to ensure the preservation of your family?

Improving Communication

3, 4. (a) How important is communication in family life, and why do problems with it often arise? (b) Why should husbands strive to be good listeners?

3 Good communication is the lifeblood of a healthy family; when it is lacking, tension and stress increase. “There is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk,” says Proverbs 15:22. Interestingly, a marriage counselor reports: “The most familiar complaint I hear from wives I counsel is ‘He won’t talk to me,’ and ‘He doesn’t listen to me.’ And when I share this complaint with their husbands, they don’t hear me, either.”

4 What causes a lack of communication? For one thing, men and women are different, and they often have noticeably different communication styles. One article noted that a husband “tends to be direct and practical” in his conversations, whereas “what [a wife] wants more than anything else is an empathetic listener.” If this presents a problem in your marriage, work at improving matters. A Christian husband may need to work hard at becoming a better listener. “Every man,” says James, “must be swift about hearing, slow about speaking.” (James 1:19) Learn to refrain from ordering, admonishing, or lecturing when your wife simply wants “fellow feeling.” (1 Peter 3:8) “Anyone holding back his sayings is possessed of knowledge,” says Proverbs 17:27.

5. What are some ways husbands can improve in expressing their thoughts and feelings?

5 On the other hand, there is “a time to speak,” and you may need to learn to be more expressive of your thoughts and feelings. (Ecclesiastes 3:7) For example, are you generous with praise for your wife’s accomplishments? (Proverbs 31:28) Do you show yourself thankful for the hard work she does in supporting you and caring for the household? (Compare Colossians 3:15.) Or perhaps you need to improve in making verbal “expressions of endearment.” (Song of Solomon 1:2) Doing so may seem awkward to you at first, but it can go a long way toward making your wife feel secure in your love for her.

6. What can wives do to improve family communication?

6 What about Christian wives? One wife is quoted as saying that her husband knows that she appreciates him, so it is not necessary for her to say it to him. However, men also thrive on appreciation, commendation, and praise. (Proverbs 12:8) Do you need to be more expressive in this regard? On the other hand, perhaps you need to pay more attention to how you listen. If your husband finds it difficult to discuss his problems, fears, or anxieties openly, have you learned how to draw him out, kindly and tactfully?

7. What can cause marital quarrels to erupt, and how can they be prevented?

7 Of course, even couples who normally get along well may occasionally experience a breakdown in communication. Emotion may overshadow reason, or a calm discussion may quickly turn into a heated argument. (Proverbs 15:1) “We all stumble many times”; a marital spat hardly spells the end of a marriage, however. (James 3:2) But “screaming and abusive speech” are inappropriate and destructive to any relationship. (Ephesians 4:31) Be quick about making peace when hurtful words have been exchanged. (Matthew 5:23, 24) Quarrels can often be prevented in the first place if both of you apply Paul’s words at Ephesians 4:26: “Let the sun not set with you in a provoked state.” Yes, talk out problems while they are small and manageable; do not wait until your emotions have reached the flash point. Spending a few minutes each day discussing matters of concern can do much to foster communication and prevent misunderstandings.

‘The Mental-Regulating of Jehovah’

8. Why may some youths drift away from the truth?

8 It appears that some parents are content to allow their children to drift along. The children attend meetings and have some share in field service, but often they have not built up their own relationship with God. In time “the desire of the flesh and the desire of the eyes” could lead many of such youths away from the truth. (1 John 2:16) How sad it would be for parents to survive Armageddon but because of past neglect leave their children behind as casualties!

9, 10. (a) What does bringing up children “in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah” involve? (b) Why is it important to allow children to express their feelings freely?

9 Paul thus wrote: “You, fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.” (Ephesians 6:4) To do so, you must be thoroughly acquainted with Jehovah’s standards yourself. You ought to set a proper example when it comes to such things as your choice of entertainment, personal study, meeting attendance, and field service. Paul’s words also imply that a parent must (1) be an astute observer of his children and that he (2) maintain good communication with them. Only then can you know wherein they need “mental-regulating.”

10 It is natural for adolescents to strive for a measure of independence. However, you must be alert to clear-cut signs of worldly influence in their speech, thinking, dress and grooming, and choice of friends. A wise father said as recorded at Proverbs 23:26: “My son, do give your heart to me.” Do your children feel free to share their thoughts and feelings with you? When children do not fear immediate censure, they may be more prone to reveal how they really feel about such matters as extracurricular activities, dating, higher education, or Bible truth itself.

11, 12. (a) How may mealtimes be used to promote family communication? (b) What may result from a parent’s persistent efforts to promote communication with his children?

11 In many lands it is customary for families to eat together. Thus the dinner meal can provide a fine opportunity for all family members to share upbuilding conversation. All too often the family meal is crowded out by TV and other distractions. For hours on end, though, your children have been virtually held hostage in school and exposed to worldly thinking. Mealtimes are a good time to communicate with your children. “We use mealtime to talk about things that came up during the day,” says a parent. Still, mealtimes need not become embarrassing disciplinary sessions or cross-examinations. Keep the occasion relaxed and enjoyable!

12 Getting children to open up to you is challenging and may require infinite patience. In time, though, you may see heartwarming results. “Our 14-year-old son had been depressed and withdrawn,” recalls a concerned mother. “By means of our prayers and persistence, he is starting to open up and talk!”

Family Study That Upbuilds

13. Why is early training of children so important, and how may it be accomplished?

13 “Mental-regulating” also includes formal instruction in God’s Word. As with Timothy, such training should begin “from infancy.” (2 Timothy 3:15) Early training strengthens children for tests of faith that may come during the school years​—birthday celebrations, patriotic ceremonies, or religious holidays. Without preparation for such tests, a child’s faith may be crushed. So take advantage of the tools the Watch Tower Society has prepared for small children, such as the books Listening to the Great Teacher and My Book of Bible Stories.a

14. How can family study be kept regular, and what have you done to have a regular family study?

14 Another area for attention is family study, which can easily lapse into irregularity or become a dull, mechanical affair that is trialsome to both parents and children. How can you improve matters? First, you must ‘buy out time’ for the study, not allowing it to be crowded out by TV shows or other diversions. (Ephesians 5:15-17) “We had difficulty keeping our family study regular,” confesses one family head. “We tried different times until we finally found a time slot a little later in the evening that worked for us. Now our family study is regular.”

15. How can you tailor your family study to the needs of your family?

15 Next, consider the particular needs of your family. Many families enjoy preparing their weekly Watchtower lesson together. From time to time, though, your family may have specific issues that need to be discussed, including problems being faced in school. The book Questions Young People Ask​—Answers That Work and articles from The Watchtower and Awake! can fill this need. “If we pick up on any attitudes on the part of our boys that need correcting,” says a father, “we zero in on the particular chapter in the Young People Ask book that covers it.” His wife adds: “We try to be flexible. If we have something planned for our study, and the need arises to discuss something else, then we change according to the need.”

16. (a) How can you be sure your children understand what they are learning? (b) What should usually be avoided in conducting a family study?

16 How can you make sure that your children really understand what they are learning? The Master Teacher, Jesus, asked viewpoint questions, such as, “What do you think?” (Matthew 17:25) By doing the same, try to find out what your children really think. Encourage each child to answer in his or her own words. Of course, if you overreact to their honest expressions with anger or shock, they may think twice about being open with you again. So remain calm. Avoid turning the family study into a forum for chastisement. It should be enjoyable, upbuilding. “If I discover that one of my children has a problem,” says one father, “I’ll deal with it at another time.” “When the child is dealt with separately,” adds a mother, “the child is not as embarrassed and is apt to talk more freely than if counseled during the family study.”

17. What can be done to make family study interesting, and what has worked well for your family?

17 Getting children to participate in a family study can be a challenge, especially when you are dealing with children of different ages. Younger children may tend to be fidgety, restless, or manifest a short attention span. What can you do? Try to keep the atmosphere of the study relaxed. If your children have short attention spans, try shorter sessions but more frequent ones. It also helps if you are enthusiastic. “He that presides, let him do it in real earnest.” (Romans 12:8) Keep everyone involved. Smaller children may be able to comment on the illustrations or to answer simple questions. Teenagers may be asked to do additional research or to make practical application of the material under consideration.

18. How can parents inculcate God’s Word on every occasion, and with what result?

18 Do not limit spiritual instruction to one hour a week, however. Inculcate God’s Word in your children on every occasion. (Deuteronomy 6:7) Take the time to listen to them. Exhort and console them when necessary. (Compare 1 Thessalonians 2:11.) Be compassionate and merciful. (Psalm 103:13; Malachi 3:17) Doing so, you will ‘find pleasure’ in your children and support their preservation into God’s new world.​—Proverbs 29:17.

“A Time to Laugh”

19, 20. (a) What role does recreation play in family life? (b) What are some ways in which parents can arrange for recreation for their family?

19 There is “a time to laugh . . . , a time to skip about.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) The Hebrew word for “laugh” may also be translated by such expressions as “celebrate,” “play,” “make sport,” or even “have a good time.” (2 Samuel 6:21; Job 41:5; Judges 16:25; Exodus 32:6; Genesis 26:8) Play can serve a beneficial purpose, and it is important to children and youths. In Bible times parents arranged entertainment and recreation for their families. (Compare Luke 15:25.) Do you do the same?

20 “We take advantage of public parks,” says a Christian husband. “We’ll invite some of the young brothers and have a ball game and a picnic. They have a good time and enjoy wholesome association.” Adds another parent: “We plan things to do with our boys. We go swimming, play ball, take vacations. But we keep entertainment in its proper place. I stress the need to keep a balance.” Wholesome recreation, such as appropriate gatherings or trips to zoos and museums, can do much to prevent a child from being attracted to the world’s pleasures.

21. How can parents prevent their children from feeling deprived because of not celebrating worldly holidays?

21 It is also important that your children not feel deprived because they do not celebrate birthdays or unchristian holidays. With some organization on your part, they can look forward to many enjoyable times throughout the year. Why, a good parent does not need some holiday as an excuse for expressing his love in a material way. Like his heavenly Father, he ‘knows how to give good gifts to his children’​—spontaneously.​—Matthew 7:11.

Securing an Eternal Future for Your Family

22, 23. (a) As the great tribulation approaches, of what can God-fearing families be assured? (b) What can families do in working toward preservation into God’s new world?

22 The psalmist prayed: “You yourself, O Jehovah, will guard them; you will preserve each one from this generation to time indefinite.” (Psalm 12:7) Pressure from Satan is sure to increase​—especially against families of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Yet, it is possible to withstand this ever-increasing attack. With Jehovah’s help and fierce determination and hard work on the part of husbands, wives, and children, families​—including your family—​can have the hope of being preserved alive during the great tribulation.

23 Husbands and wives, bring peace and harmony to your marriage by fulfilling your God-assigned roles. Parents, continue setting a proper example for your children, buying out the time to give them the training and discipline they so sorely need. Talk to them. Listen to them. Their lives are at stake! Children, listen to and obey your parents. With Jehovah’s help you can succeed and secure yourselves an eternal future in God’s coming new world.

[Footnotes]

Audiocassettes are also available in some languages.

Do You Remember?

□ How can husbands and wives improve their communication?

□ How can parents raise children in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah”? (Ephesians 6:4)

□ What are some ways to make family study upbuilding and more interesting?

□ What might parents do in arranging recreation and entertainment for their families?

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Music​—A Powerful Influence

Says the author of a book on child rearing: “If I were to stand in front of an audience . . . and advocate drunken orgies, getting high on cocaine, pot, or any of the other mind-bending drugs, they would look at me in stunned astonishment. . . . [Yet] parents often provide their children with money to buy records or cassette recordings that openly advocate those things.” (Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World, by Zig Ziglar) In the United States, for example, sexually explicit rap lyrics are on the lips of many youths. Are you helping your children to be selective in their choice of music so that they avoid such demonic snares?

[Picture on page 15]

Mealtimes can be enjoyable occasions that promote family unity and communication

Baptism “Into the Name Of”

Baptism “Into the Name Of”

A STUDY of the thousands of ancient secular papyrus documents found in the sands of Egypt at the beginning of this century often throws interesting light on the Christian Greek Scriptures. How? By considering the way in which certain words were used, we are guided to a more precise understanding of the same words in their Scriptural setting.

One example is Jesus’ use of “in the name of” when he commanded his disciples before he ascended to heaven: “Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit.” What did Jesus mean?​—Matthew 28:19.

Scholars have discovered that in secular writings the expression “in the name of,” or “into the name of” (Kingdom Interlinear), is used with reference to payments “to the account of any one.” Theology professor Dr. G. Adolf Deissmann believed that in view of the evidence from the papyri, “the idea underlying . . . the expressions to baptise into the name of the Lord, or to believe into the name of the Son of God, is that baptism or faith constitutes the belonging to God or to the Son of God.”​—Deissmann’s italics.

Interestingly, a similar expression was used by the Jews of Jesus’ day, as explained in the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament: “The circumcision of a proselyte is done . . . ‘in the name of the proselyte,’ to receive him into Judaism. This circumcision takes place . . . ‘in the name of the covenant,’ to receive him into the covenant.” A relationship is thereby established and the non-Jew becomes a proselyte under the covenant’s authority.

So for the Christian, baptism following dedication establishes an intimate relationship with Jehovah God, his Son Jesus Christ, and the holy spirit. The convert recognizes their respective authority in his new way of life. Consider how this is true for each of the three named.

By recognizing God’s authority, we draw close to him and enter into a relationship with him. (Hebrews 12:9; James 4:7, 8) We become God’s property as his slaves, bought with the price of Jesus Christ’s ransom sacrifice. (1 Corinthians 3:23; 6:20) The apostle Paul also told first-century Christians that they belonged to Jesus Christ, not to any men who might have taken the truth to them. (1 Corinthians 1:12, 13; 7:23; compare Matthew 16:24.) Baptism in the name of the Son implies recognizing this fact, accepting Jesus as “the way and the truth and the life.”​—John 14:6.

The holy spirit is also essential to our right relationship with Jehovah and Jesus Christ. Baptism in the name of the holy spirit shows that we recognize the role of the spirit in God’s dealings with us. We intend to follow its guidance, not disregarding it or acting contrary to it, blocking its working through us. (Ephesians 4:30; 1 Thessalonians 5:19) The spirit’s impersonal nature creates no difficulty as to usage or meaning, any more than the usage “in the name of the covenant” did in Judaism.

At the time of dedication and baptism, therefore, we need to reflect prayerfully on what is involved in our new relationship. It requires submission to the will of God, demonstrated in the example and ransom provision of Jesus Christ, to be carried out through holy spirit as it directs all of God’s servants in love and unity worldwide.

Elders—Delegate!

Elders​—Delegate!

HE WAS a patient, humble man, with a keen sense of justice tempered by his experiences in life. Thus, over three million men, women, and children confidently looked to him for advice. He tried not to disappoint them. From morning till evening, he listened to their problems and patiently helped them to see how God’s laws applied to their situation. Yes, for a brief period, some 3,500 years ago, the 12 tribes of Israel were judged singlehandedly by one man​—Moses.

However, Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, was concerned. How could Moses ever hope to keep up such a pace? So Jethro declared: “It is not good the way you are doing. You will surely wear out, both you and this people who are with you, because this business is too big a load for you. You are unable to do it by yourself.” (Exodus 18:17, 18) The solution? Jethro advised Moses to delegate some of his responsibilities to others. (Exodus 18:19-23) Good advice!

Within the Christian congregation today, there are many elders who, like Moses, are trying to care for more than they can possibly accomplish alone. They organize meetings as well as prepare and then present program parts in an orderly, effective manner. (1 Corinthians 14:26, 33, 40; 1 Timothy 4:13) Elders also care for the needs of individual members of the congregation. (Galatians 6:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:14; James 5:14) They take the lead in the all-important work of preaching the good news of the Kingdom. (Matthew 24:14; Hebrews 13:7) They arrange, too, for literature supplies to be made available to the congregation for distribution to the public.

Additionally, some elders are assigned parts on circuit assembly and district convention programs. They staff assembly organizations and serve on hospital liaison committees. Some assist with Kingdom Hall construction. And all of this is in addition to their family responsibilities and their need to feed themselves spiritually. (Compare Joshua 1:8; Psalm 110:3; 1 Timothy 3:4, 5; 4:15, 16.) How do such Christian men get all of it done? Like Moses they must have help. They must learn to delegate. Indeed, a person who does not delegate is a poor organizer.

The Value of Training Others

There are further reasons for delegating responsibility. In Jesus’ illustration of the talents, the master, before departing on a long trip, summoned his slaves and delegated to them varying degrees of responsibility. (Matthew 25:14, 15) By so doing, the master was able to achieve several goals. First, while he was away, his slaves acted in his place and necessary work did not grind to a halt while he was gone. Second, since actions speak louder than words, the master could observe the abilities and loyalties of his slaves. Third, the master gave his slaves an opportunity to gain much-needed experience.

This illustration has meaning for us today. When Jesus left the earth, he committed responsibility to his anointed disciples. The remaining ones of these are still responsible for the worldwide interests of the Kingdom. (Luke 12:42) During the modern-day stewardship of the anointed, Jehovah’s blessing has been evident upon his organization. As a result, it has increased wonderfully. Why, in just the last five years, well over a million new ones have symbolized their dedication by water baptism! This has resulted in thousands of new congregations and hundreds of new circuits.

Just as Jesus Christ delegated responsibilities to “the faithful and discreet slave,” they in turn have assigned congregational responsibilities to elders and ministerial servants of the “other sheep.” (Matthew 24:45-47; John 10:16) Nevertheless, more dedicated men are needed to care for the tremendous growth. Where will they come from? Elders must train them. But how can elders train such men if they do not delegate appropriate responsibilities to individuals who show promise? How else do the elders have opportunity to observe the capabilities and loyalties of younger men?

What Does It Mean to Delegate?

To some, “delegating” means unloading, avoiding, neglecting, or abdicating their responsibilities. However, when properly used, “delegating” is really a way to fulfill responsibilities. The English verb “to delegate” is defined as, “to entrust to another; to appoint as one’s representative; to assign responsibility or authority.” Nevertheless, the delegator remains ultimately responsible for what is done.

Some may hold back from delegating because they are afraid they will lose control. Yet, delegating does not mean loss of control. Though invisible and ruling from the heavens, Christ Jesus is very much in control of the Christian congregation. He, in turn, entrusts the congregation to the care of experienced men.​—Ephesians 5:23-27; Colossians 1:13.

Others may be disinclined to delegate because they feel they can do the job quicker themselves. However, Jesus saw the value of training others. No one on earth taught more effectively than Jesus. (John 7:46) Yet, after giving instructions to 70 of his disciples, he dispatched them into the preaching work. Although unable to equal Jesus in teaching ability, they returned overjoyed at their successes. Jesus rejoiced with them and commended them, for he knew they would carry on with the work long after he was gone and would eventually accomplish more than he ever could working alone.​—Luke 10:1-24; John 14:12.

Delegating also means getting help with necessary details. The day before Jesus was to die, he assigned Peter and John to make the necessary arrangements for his last Passover meal. (Luke 22:7-13) Jesus did not have to worry about purchasing a lamb, wine, unleavened bread, and bitter greens; nor did he have to gather up utensils, firewood, and the like. Peter and John took care of those details.

Elders today can enjoy similar benefits if they imitate Jesus’ example. For instance, the one caring for literature may be asked to order needed supplies for an upcoming campaign. He may be instructed to analyze his records to determine how similar items were used in past campaigns. He may also take into consideration the characteristics of the congregation territory before preparing the appropriate order form. He would then submit the form to the congregation secretary for checking. Once the literature servant has learned his job, it should not be necessary for the secretary to double-check past records as long as the totals on the order form are within reason. Clearly, this simple act of delegating would make placing a literature order easier and simpler for all concerned.

In view of such potential benefits, how can one delegate effectively?

How to Delegate

Define the task. First of all, make clear what results are expected. “Do business till I come” is what the “man of noble birth” in Jesus’ illustration of the minas told his ten slaves. (Luke 19:12, 13) The master expected the slaves to trade profitably with his mina and then report their gains upon his return. They knew what they had to do. How would this principle apply on a modern-day Kingdom Hall project? As an example, the brother assigned to repair the roof would normally be told what materials to use, where to find them, and when to start the work, weather permitting. Such specific guidelines make for good organization.

It is important to define not only the scope of a task but also what decisions a person is allowed to make and what matters should be referred to someone else. Moses told his appointees that they were to judge small cases, but difficult cases were to come to him.​—Exodus 18:22.

When assigning responsibilities, take care to avoid overlap. When more than one person is assigned the same duties, confusion results. Imagine what could happen if at a large convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses, both the Cleaning Department and the Food Service Department were given the responsibility to clean the food stands, or if both the Attendant Department and the Immersion Department were assigned to direct the observers during the baptism.

Select capable men. Jethro advised Moses: “You must yourself search for capable, God-fearing men among all the people, honest and incorruptible men, and appoint them over the people.” (Exodus 18:21, The New English Bible) Obviously, a man must first meet the spiritual qualifications. To determine if one is “capable” of doing the job at hand, consideration must be given to such factors as personality traits, experience, training, and talents. Thus, a Christian with an especially amiable, pleasant, helpful disposition would likely work well at either the magazine counter or as an attendant. In a similar vein, when selecting someone to assist the congregation secretary, consideration would logically be given to how orderly he is. Does he give attention to detail, is he reliable, and can he keep a confidence? (Luke 16:10) Giving consideration to such factors in addition to the necessary spiritual qualifications would aid in fitting the right man to the job.

Assign adequate resources. The one serving will need to have at his disposal certain resources in order to complete an assigned task. Perhaps he will need equipment, funds, or assistance. Assign enough resources. For instance, a brother may be asked to make some necessary repairs on the Kingdom Hall. Obviously, he would be told what needs to be done, but he may also need some petty cash to purchase incidental materials. Perhaps he will need help. So elders may ask others to assist him or make an announcement to the congregation to the effect that ‘Brother So-and-so will be doing such-and-such work on the hall, and he may be approaching some of you to ask for help.’ Such forethought will prevent one from assigning a task without providing adequate resources. “Don’t half-delegate” is the way one management consultant expresses it.

When assigning responsibilities, inform others that the person is acting in your stead. The authority to act in your place is also a resource. Joshua was commissioned as the new leader of Israel before “all the assembly.” Moses was instructed to “put some of [his] dignity upon him.” (Numbers 27:18-23) In the congregation setting, the same may be accomplished by simply posting on the information board a list of those with assigned duties.

Support their decisions. Now the one assigned can get on with the work at hand. Remember, though, you can be a real source of encouragement to him if you support the good decisions he makes. For instance, you as an elder may have your own preference about how to position microphones and furniture on the Kingdom Hall platform, perhaps somewhat differently from how the assigned brother does it. However, if the brother taking care of the platform is allowed some latitude in his work, he will likely gain confidence and experience. Besides, he may even improve matters. One business consultant stated: “Delegate the task, not how it is done. . . . Often, creative talent is unleashed.”

Furthermore, the brother on the job with his hand on the plow, so to speak, is often closer to a particular situation and thus may better understand the problems associated with it. He will likely respond to problems with solutions that really work. He may also be dealing with factors that are not obvious to onlookers. Therefore, one Christian overseer said of an experienced assistant: “If he says that he has some rocks in that soil, I have to trust him.”

Yes, a most valuable resource available to Christian elders is dedicated men and women who are willing and able to assist in whatever way they are directed. Elders, avail yourselves of this excellent commodity! Delegating is a sign of modesty and can minimize stress and frustration. Not only will you thus be enabled to do more but you will give others the opportunity to gain needed experience.

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