Awake!, February 8, 1995

Awake! — February 8, 1995

Source: jw.org

Contents

Page Two

Missing Children—How Widespread a Tragedy?

When Children Are Abducted by Strangers

When Parents Kidnap

Throwaways and Runaways

When Will the Tragedy End?

Crossword Puzzle

Why Do I Have These Feelings?

When Singleness Is a Gift

Autism—Meeting the Challenges of a Puzzling Disorder

Bee Versus Computer

A New Name for an Old Orgy

Watching the World

From Our Readers

Are You a Safe Driver?

Youths Express Appreciation

Page Two

Page Two

Missing Children​—When Will the Tragedy End? 3-13

Each year throughout the world, there are hundreds of thousands of missing children. What happens to them? What can be done about it?

Bee Versus Computer 24

How does the ordinary honeybee compare with today’s most sophisticated computers?

A New Name for an Old Orgy 26

What are the roots of Valentine Day?

[Picture Credit Line on page 2]

Old-​Fashioned Romantic Cuts/​Dover

Missing Children—How Widespread a Tragedy?

Missing Children​—How Widespread a Tragedy?

‘MY CHILD IS MISSING!’

There could be few greater causes of anxiety for most parents than having to utter those words. While no exact global figure can be established for the number of children missing from their homes, we can learn how widespread a tragedy it is through published reports in many countries.

IN THE United States, from 500,000 to over 1,000,000 children, depending on how they are classified, are listed as missing from their homes each year. They may be missing a short period of time or be missing permanently. England reports that almost 100,000 children disappear annually, although some say the number is much greater. The former Soviet Union spoke of tens of thousands of children as missing. In South Africa the number is said to be more than 10,000. And in Latin America, millions of children face this tragedy.

A spokesman for the Italian Ministry of the Interior indicated the dimension of the problem there when he said, as noted in L’Indipendente: “They leave home on a day like many others. They go to school or to play, but they do not come back. They disappear, vanish into nothing. Family members desperately search for them, but there are only faint traces, insufficient clues, few​—and uncertain—​eyewitnesses.”

A recent study in the United States on the magnitude of this problem revealed that the heading “missing children” includes, in actuality, several categories. One category is children abducted by strangers. Another is children abducted by a parent, as in custody cases. Then there are the throwaways, children unwanted by parents or guardians. There are also runaways, another large category. And there are those lost or otherwise separated from their family for just a few hours or for a day or two​—mostly children staying out beyond the time agreed upon or children whose parents have misunderstood their intentions. Very, very few of these stay missing.

However, what happens to the missing children in the more serious categories? Why does this tragedy happen? This issue of Awake! examines various aspects of the tragedy and answers the question, When will it end?

When Children Are Abducted by Strangers

When Children Are Abducted by Strangers

“PLEASE HELP US FIND HER. PLEASE, PLEASE HELP SARA!”

This impassioned cry from two anguished parents was televised across the United States in an effort to recover their 12-​year-​old daughter, Sara Ann Wood. She had been kidnapped three weeks earlier as she bicycled home along the country road where she lived.

A MASSIVE search party combed woods, fields, and nearby lakes looking for traces of the missing girl. About the same time, Tina Piirainen, another anguished parent in a neighboring state, also went on camera pleading for her missing daughter. Lured down a wooded path, ten-​year-​old Holly vanished in less than an hour. Later her remains were found in a field.

Life for the parents of missing children is an agonizing ordeal. Daily they struggle with the uncertainty of whether their child is alive, perhaps being physically harmed or sexually abused, or dead, as was the case with little Ashley. Ashley went with her family to watch her brother compete in a soccer game. Tired of watching, she walked to the playground​—and vanished. Later, Ashley’s body was found in a nearby field. She had been strangled.

Horrifying Nightmare

In the United States, each year, from 200 to 300 families will experience the horrifying nightmare of having a child kidnapped and then perhaps never seeing the child alive again. While the numbers appear small in comparison with other violent crimes committed, the fright and terror that ripple through entire communities affect thousands of people. In shock they wonder, ‘How can such a tragedy happen here? Will my child be next?’

In the United States, the annual number of reported cases of children abducted is between 3,200 and 4,600. Two thirds or more of these are sexually assaulted. Ernest E. Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, noted: “The primary reason is sexual, followed by intent to murder.” Also, according to the Department of Justice, over 110,000 other abductions are attempted each year, mostly by motorists, usually men, trying to lure a child into their car. Other lands are also experiencing a wave of violence against children.

Does Society Share the Blame?

Concerning child killing, an Australian researcher shows that it is “not a random event.” In his book Murder of the Innocents​—Child-​Killers and Their Victims, Paul Wilson states that “both the killers and the killed are caught up in a vicious cycle that society itself has created.”

It might seem strange to think that society may be responsible for, or at least may contribute to, this tragedy, since most people find the exploitation of and the murder of children to be horrendous acts. Yet, industrialized societies, and even many less-​developed ones, are saturated with films, TV productions, and reading material that glorify sex and violence.

There are now more and more hard-​core pornographic films featuring children and even adults dressed up to resemble children. These depict explicit sex and violence involving children. Wilson further notes in his book that there are movie titles such as Death of a Young One, Lingering Torture, and Dismembering for Beginners. How large an audience do sadistic violence and pornography have? It is a multibillion-​dollar industry!

Graphic violence and pornography have a tremendous impact on the lives of those who exploit children. A convicted sex offender who had murdered five young boys confessed: “I am a homosexual pedophile convicted of murder, and pornography was a determining factor in my downfall.” Professor Berit Ås, of Oslo University, explains the effect child porn has: “We made a big mistake at the end of the 1960s. We believed that pornography could replace sex crimes by providing an outlet for sex offenders, and we took the lid off. Now we know we were wrong: such pornography validates sex crimes. It leads the offender to think, ‘If I can watch this, it must be okay to do it.’”

An adult’s desire for titillation escalates as he becomes addicted to pornography. As a result, some are willing to use either coercion or violence to obtain children for their perverted use, including rape and murder.

There are other causes for child abductions. In some lands this has increased because of bad economic conditions. Lured by large sums of ransom money paid by wealthy families, kidnappers target children. Each year many infants are stolen and sold to adoption rings that transport them out of the country.

Who make up the major portion of missing children? What happens to them? The next two articles will examine this matter.

[Box on page 6]

Millions of Child Prostitutes

According to the United Nations, about ten million children, mostly in developing countries, have been forced into prostitution, many of whom had been kidnapped. This evil trade has increased in Africa, Asia, and Latin America along with the increase in foreign tourism. In some areas, of the millions of tourists, especially from wealthier lands, about two thirds are “sex tourists.” But there is a day of reckoning, since man’s crimes are “openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting,” Jehovah God.​—Hebrews 4:13.

[Picture on page 5]

It is a horrifying nightmare when a child is abducted

When Parents Kidnap

When Parents Kidnap

AFTER suffering years of violent beatings and severe emotional abuse at the hands of her husband and then finally being betrayed for another woman, Cheryl sued for divorce.a With full custody of her children granted to her by the courts, calmness slowly settled in as she began putting the pieces of her life back together​—until one day when the phone rang. It was her ex-​husband. He said: “If you want to see your children again, you must agree to remarry me”! Forbidden to return to their mother after their monthlong visit with their father in his native country, Cheryl’s children were kidnapped.

Devastated, Cheryl petitioned the U.S. State Department but found no legal way to recover her children in the other country. The feelings of utter helplessness that she had experienced through years of battering returned. “It’s almost the same thing,” she explains. “You don’t know how to stop it.”

“Psychological Violence”

Parental kidnapping has been termed “a supreme act of psychological violence” perpetrated against a parent and a child. Carolyn Zogg, executive director of Child Find of America, Inc., said regarding such kidnappers: “Many parents who do this are getting even, and they are getting even in the worst possible way and in the most vulnerable area. That’s the area that is the closest to [the parents that have legal custody]​—their jewel, their children. . . . They’re not thinking of the child, only of themselves and the revenge​—getting even, getting back.”

A child’s being kidnapped not only subjects the parent to feelings of rage, loss, helplessness, and anxiety but almost always damages the child’s emotional well-​being to some degree. In some cases a child may be forced to live on the run, avoiding close ties and hearing distortions and lies about the other parent. The experience may produce an array of disorders, such as bed-​wetting, insomnia, clinging behavior, fear of windows and doors, and extreme fright. Even in older children, it can produce grief and rage.

In the United States, there are over 350,000 cases each year in which a parent takes a child in violation of a custody order or fails to return the child in the time allowed. In over 100,000 of these cases, the child is concealed by a family member with the intent to keep him or her permanently from the other parent. Some are taken out of the state or even out of the country.

Other Reasons

Is it always a desire for reconciliation or a vengeful spirit that motivates parents to abduct their children? Michael Knipfing of Child Find explains that some parents fear losing a custody battle with their ex-​spouse and that “out of fear they act preemptively.” Or when custody has been determined and one parent keeps denying the other visitation rights, frustration sets in. Explains Knipfing: “If you love your child and you’re denied seeing your child, you tend to think that you have no other alternative but to grab the child and run.”

He also states that ‘most people do not realize the ramifications of kidnapping a child. They don’t realize they are going to have trouble getting a job. Warrants are out for their arrest. They think the problem is just between them and the other parent. They don’t realize that the police get involved. They need two lawyers instead of one because now they’ve got a criminal charge to deal with as well as the civil problem, which is who gets custody of the child.’

Some parents may suspect that their child is being harmed by the other parent. If the legal system is slow to act, then a desperate parent might act despite the consequences. This was seen in the case of five-​year-​old Hilary Morgan. A child psychiatrist advised that visits between Hilary and her father should stop, calling the evidence of abuse “clear and convincing.” The courts, however, ruled the abuse tentative and prescribed unsupervised visits. Dr. Elizabeth Morgan, Hilary’s mother, in violation of the court, hid her daughter. Much public sympathy is aroused for such a parent who kidnaps and flees for protection.

In the case of Elizabeth Morgan, she lost her surgical practice, spent over two years in prison, and ran up medical and legal debts of more than 1.5 million dollars. She explained to U.S.News & World Report: “The experts tell me that my child would now be permanently insane had I not stopped the abuse. . . . I had to do the job that the court refused to do: Save my child.”

True indeed is the observation made by researchers Greif and Hegar regarding abductions by parents: “These are exceedingly complex events that, like a deep pool of water, look slightly different depending upon the angle; each time one stares into the water something new is seen.”​—When Parents Kidnap—​The Families Behind the Headlines.

In addition to children who are kidnapped by a parent or by a stranger, there are millions of other missing children all over the world​—the throwaways and the runaways. Who are they, and what happens to them?

[Footnotes]

The name has been changed.

Throwaways and Runaways

Throwaways and Runaways

“I CUT my hair, dressed like a man, put chains and padlocks around my neck, and stuck a safety pin through my cheek, and in this way I began my life as a punk.”​—Tamara.

If you had seen Tamara on the streets, would you have guessed that she was a lonely, abused teenager whose homelife left her void of the attention and affection she was crying out for? Would you have thought she was a rebel heading for trouble with the law and perhaps for a life of crime? Tamara reveals to Awake! the frightening events that led to the kind of life she lived from the age of 14, a life-​style she never wished for.

Throwaways

Tamara relates: “I grew up in a small mountain town in Italy, in a family in which affection was unknown. Sadly, I witnessed the intense arguments that exploded between my parents and the unrepeatable insults that flew on those occasions. I often ended up in the quarrel and being beaten mercilessly by my heartless father. I used to bear the welts for weeks.

“When I was 14, my father gave me a few dollars and a one-​way train ticket to the nearest city, where there were many perils. I made friends with other youngsters who, like me, did not have anyone interested in them. Many of us became alcoholics. I became arrogant, vulgar, and aggressive. I was often without food. One winter evening my friends and I burned the furniture to keep warm. How I would have liked a family to care for me, to be interested in my sentiments, my anxieties, my fears. But I was alone, terribly alone.”

There are hundreds of thousands of “Tamaras” in today’s world. On every continent, there are children who have been abandoned by parents who have neglected their responsibilities.

Runaways

Other youngsters decide to leave home because “it is simply too terrifying a place for them to remain; it is too painful, it is too dangerous, and they run out into the streets.”​—New York State Journal of Medicine.

At nine years old, Domingos was abandoned to an orphanage when his mother remarried. Because of the beatings he experienced by the priests, he planned to escape. His mother took him back, but he was subjected to constant beatings by his stepfather. Running away was the only way he found relief from the cruelty at home.

Sadly, “millions of children cannot trust the adults in their own households for a minimum standard of safe care,” writes Anuradha Vittachi in her book Stolen Childhood​—In Search of the Rights of the Child. She also writes: “Three children a day are estimated to die of abuse at the hands of their parents in the United States.” In too many cases, a child’s sexuality is violated rather than protected by a family member.

Exploited and Traumatized

Domingos was forced to live with other street children who were involved with robbing and stealing, as well as taking and selling drugs. Tragically, many who run away from bad conditions at home are exploited by pimps, pedophiles, and pornography rings. Hungry and lonely, these young ones are offered a place to stay and promises of belonging to a “caring” adult, only to find that they pay with their bodies in a life of prostitution. Without work skills, many learn to survive on the streets in any way they can, including being seduced and seducing. Some do not survive. Drugs, alcohol, murder, and suicide claim many young victims.

Commenting on the life of street children, one former child prostitute said: “You’re scared out here. You know, what gets me upset is that a lot of [people] think that when they see a kid sleeping on a train, or they see a kid hanging out all the time, they think it’s ’cause they wanna be. Now that I’m older, that’s not how I see it. These kids are each crying in their own special way. They don’t wanna be like that, but their parents don’t want them.”

Seeking “Freedom”

There are other hundreds of thousands of youngsters reported missing from home who have been lured into the streets by the freedoms they imagine are out there. Some want freedom from poverty. Others desire freedom from parental authority and rules that they may feel are too restrictive.

One youth who tasted the so-​called freedom from parental control and from the principles of a Christian home was named Emma. Having left for a life with her friends, she became enslaved to drugs. But after experiencing the brutality of the streets, Emma expressed the desire to return and to end her drug habit. Sadly, though, she did not cut her ties with bad company, and on a summer evening with her friends, they injected heroin. For Emma it was the last time. She went into a coma and died the next day, alone and abandoned by her “friends.”

Can the future of children victimized by their parents or by others be better? Will there ever be a world that will not exploit youths? What hope is there that family life can be improved and appreciated so that youngsters will not want to run away? The answers can be found in the following article.

When Will the Tragedy End?

When Will the Tragedy End?

WHEN will children cease becoming victims of abduction, abuse, exploitation, and often the bad influence of their peers? Would more law enforcement and stiffer penalties for crimes committed against children protect them? Would more social programs to provide food, housing, and education stop the abuse and the running? Would teaching better communication skills to parents who care about their children help parents to counter the illusions of excitement that lure their children into destructive environments?

Although such measures might be of help, until the root cause of such tragedies is eliminated, children will remain subject to much suffering. According to one youth, any initiative to deal with the problem of runaway children that does not prevent the abuse or the neglect in the home is not likely to be very effective, since the damage is already done.

The Root Cause

What is at the root of all these problems? How will they be eliminated? The Bible explains that the family unit is under attack by unseen wicked spirit creatures, Satan and his demons, who take pleasure in brutality, sexual exploitation, and perversion. (Genesis 6:1-6; Ephesians 6:12) When Jesus was on earth, children were attacked by these demons. One young boy suffered the torment of being thrown into convulsions and being thrown into a fire.​—Mark 9:20-22.

Even centuries before Jesus was on earth, demons reveled in the torture and the burning to death of young children offered to hideous pagan gods, such as Baal, Chemosh, and Molech. (1 Kings 11:7; 2 Kings 3:26, 27; Psalm 106:37, 38; Jeremiah 19:5; 32:35) Therefore, today, in this world that is becoming more and more depraved, it should not be surprising that demons target children for suffering at the hands of willing human agents who inflict humiliation, pain, and death upon youngsters. Perpetrators of such monstrous crimes often feed their minds on pornography, which fuels their perversions.

The pressure that the demons exert upon the human race has increased in our time, for the Bible calls this period of history “the last days” of the present wicked system of things. It foretold that these would be “critical times hard to deal with.” Now more than ever, the influence of the demons results in humans reflecting the depravity of these wicked spirit creatures. The Bible foretold that people in our day would be fierce, without self-​control, having no natural affection, without love of goodness.​—2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13.

That well describes greedy people who produce films, records, magazines, and books that glorify adultery, drugs, suicide, murder, rape, incest, bondage, and torture. Through these and other means, the demons have promoted a culture that, like vile air, has polluted the minds and hearts of young and old alike, eroding family values and godly morality.

The increase of child abduction, molestation, and killing is part of the sign of the last days. In addition, the Bible said that ‘men would be lovers of themselves, not open to any agreement, disloyal, betrayers.’ Hence nowadays the bonds of marriage are often broken soon after they are made. As divorces increase, so do parental kidnappings. And the battering and killing of present or former mates escalates, the vast majority of victims being women. Thus, we see a generation of children whose parents encourage them to run by neglecting and abusing them. Further, our time is marked by children who are “disobedient to parents,” who are “headstrong,” and who prefer to run with their peers rather than respect godly values.​—2 Timothy 3:2-4.

The Tragedy Soon to End

However, the influence of Satan and his demons is soon to end. (Revelation 12:12) The prophecy of Revelation 20:1-3 states that God will have Satan and his demons put out of the way. After that, God’s heavenly Kingdom, in the hands of Jesus Christ, will rule this earth in righteousness, administering justice and guaranteeing security for all. (Psalm 72:7, 8; Daniel 2:44; Matthew 6:9, 10) Gone will be the greedy commercial systems that oppress the poor and exploit human weakness for a profit, for “the world is passing away and so is its desire.” (1 John 2:17) All those who practice wickedness will be eliminated, as Proverbs 2:22 foretells: “The wicked . . . will be cut off from the very earth.”

Micah 4:4 explains that in God’s new world there will be security and peace for all: “There will be no one making them tremble.” How is that possible? Through the kingly law of love. That supreme law will govern all thoughts and actions. Those living at that time will have learned to reflect the personality of Jesus and his Father, Jehovah God, since if they do not, they will not be allowed to continue living. By their clothing themselves with the ‘tender affections of compassion, kindness, lowliness of mind, and mildness,’ selfishness will be rooted out of the human makeup. (Colossians 3:12) Life will be radiant with happiness; homes glowing with warmth and affection will be the norm earth wide.

Isaiah 65:21-23 promises abundant food and good homes for everyone: “They will certainly build houses and have occupancy; and they will certainly plant vineyards and eat their fruitage. . . . They will not toil for nothing, nor will they bring to birth for disturbance.” No more abuse. No more suffering for children or for parents.

Benefiting Now

Even now, in the last hours of this evil system, knowledge of Jehovah and of his purpose to restore this earth to a paradise brings benefits. It has given many youngsters and parents hope and a reason for happiness, even if they have been victims of our times. For example, Tamara, mentioned in our previous article, explains what took place in her life.

“When I was 18, I got married and more or less left my circle of ‘friends,’ some of whom ended up in jail, in the grip of drugs, or in prostitution. But I still had the same personality, so the arguments began with my husband. However, soon after the birth of our son, something happened that completely changed my life. I found a Bible and began to read it. One evening I read the chapter in Proverbs that says ‘finding wisdom is like finding hidden treasures.’(Proverbs 2:1-6) Before I went to sleep that evening, I prayed for that wisdom. The next morning, Jehovah’s Witnesses rang my doorbell. I began studying the Bible with them, but it took me some time to put into practice what I was learning from the Bible. Finally, I became determined to follow the Christian way of life and was baptized. Now, together with my husband, I help others to receive the relief that God provides.”

Yes, Tamara found the Source of all relief, Jehovah God. He is a heavenly Father who will never abandon those clinging to him. Psalm 27:10 tells us: “In case my own father and my own mother did leave me, even Jehovah himself would take me up.”

Domingos, mentioned earlier, also found a real family that has provided comfort, encouragement, and support. He relates: “One day I received a copy of the book Listening to the Great Teacher and was surprised to learn that God had a name, Jehovah.a I attended one of the meetings of Jehovah’s Witnesses and was amazed to see that there were no class distinctions. The Witnesses began studying the Bible with me in spite of my poor clothing, rough manner, and distrust of everyone. Gradually they helped me to reject my former way of life. They even helped me to get work. Eventually I was helped to make progress toward baptism.”

The congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses are like a safety net for young people. The Witnesses are happy to assist any who want to learn of the marvelous hope ahead. The comfort brought to those who seek a relationship with their heavenly Father is great, since the Witnesses are trained to provide counsel and direction from God’s Word the Bible. One Witness explains that young people need to be shown that the disgusting situation they may find themselves in is disgusting to Jehovah too. The Witness states: “Jehovah does not want children to be abused. He does not want them to be unhappy. But he doesn’t want them to exchange one form of abuse for another form of abuse​—abuse that they get out in the streets. They can reach out to mature individuals in Jehovah’s organization to talk about their problems and to be shown the way out.”

For children whose hearts are receptive, God’s Word provides a powerful incentive to avoid the snare of peer pressure. Frances, a 17-​year-​old girl, was incited by a schoolmate to play hooky from school a number of times without telling her parents. Finally, she ran away from home. After causing hours of anguish for her parents, she returned. Afterward, two Witnesses from her congregation visited. They learned that the family climate was not the cause of the problem, and they lovingly provided counsel. They explained the Christian obligation of youths to respect their parents (Ephesians 6:1, 2); the need to avoid dishonesty, since she had played hooky without telling her parents (Ephesians 4:25); and the importance of avoiding bad associations. (1 Corinthians 15:33) She responded positively.

Help From on High

Cheryl also found help from Jehovah in dealing with the kidnapping of her children by her ex-​spouse.b When asked what helped her to cope with this nightmare, she said: “The first thing I did was to read the Psalms, especially Psalm 35. It was comforting to know that Jehovah saw the injustice of what I was going through.” Psalm 35:22, 23 says: “You have seen, O Jehovah. Do not keep silent. O Jehovah, do not keep yourself far from me. Do arouse yourself and awake to my judgment, . . . to my case at law.”

After two years, with Jehovah’s backing and help from the Witnesses, Cheryl faced her ex-​husband, and she visited her children. She was able to provide comforting answers as to why this had happened to them and to assure them that she had not abandoned them. Because Cheryl trained her children to honor Jehovah, she was able to tell them of the confidence she had in them. She explained: “I know my children love Jehovah, and he will not let lasting harm come to them.”

That was the way it worked out. With Cheryl’s persistent effort in dealing with foreign immigration officials and with her reliance on Jehovah through earnest prayer, her children were returned to her. Cheryl stated: “I would really have to say that it was only by Jehovah’s hand that I got them back.”

How important it is to teach our children now to know who Jehovah is and to worship him! The Bible states at 1 Peter 3:12 that Jehovah’s eyes “are upon the righteous ones, and his ears are toward their supplication.” Jehovah is indeed a refuge for our children. His name is “a strong tower. Into it the righteous runs and is given protection.”​—Proverbs 18:10.

Although we live in very dangerous times and do not always know what will befall our children, parents who worship Jehovah know that no lasting harm will come to their young ones who are faithful. He has even promised to bring back from the dead those who have suffered as victims of our times and to erase the pain and suffering inflicted upon them.​—Isaiah 65:17, 18; John 5:28, 29.

The hope of God’s new world is a marvelous one. So is the realization that soon God will rid the earth of Satan and his wicked system. Gone will be any threat to our children. One of the songs that Jehovah’s Witnesses sing at their congregation meetings describes that new system this way: “When songs of children fill the air,/​when joy and peace are everywhere,/​then, too, you’ll see the dead arise,/​if you keep your eyes on the prize”!

The next time you meet some of Jehovah’s Witnesses, ask them to show you how you too can learn more about the joys just ahead in God’s incoming new world of righteousness. They will be happy to assist you to see how God’s Word can bring much comfort now and eternal life later.​—Psalm 37:29; Revelation 21:4, 5.

[Footnotes]

Published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.

See article on page 6.

[Blurb on page 12]

“Jehovah does not want children to be abused”

Crossword Puzzle

Crossword Puzzle

Clues Across

1. Congregation elders are not to shepherd “the flock of God” with this in mind [2 words] (1 Peter 5:2)

9. Compared to the knowledge of Christ, Paul considered all other things as this (Philippians 3:8)

10. Retaliate (Romans 12:17)

11. Mournful composition (Amos 8:10)

12. The site, noted for its great cistern, at which Saul inquired as to the whereabouts of David and Samuel (1 Samuel 19:22)

13. All families in heaven and on earth are said to owe theirs to Jehovah (Ephesians 3:14, 15)

14. Pledging (2 Peter 2:19)

18. It denotes Jehovah’s supreme authority [2 words] (Revelation 6:10)

22. It was a place of instruction, not sacrifice (Matthew 12:9)

24. A historical period (Jude 18)

25. It is generally ranked as the longest river on earth (Joshua 13:3)

26. Severe (Acts 15:39)

28. Tract of wooded land (Psalm 83:14)

29. Both he and Paul were tentmakers (Acts 18:2, 3)

30. They twice felt the wrath of Jesus [2 words] (John 2:15)

Clues Down

2. Jesus told the Pharisees that they “— — the kingdom of the heavens before men” [2 words] (Matthew 23:13

3. King David’s grandfather (Luke 3:31, 32)

4. Those doing this gain everlasting life [2 words] (John 3:16)

5. To become weary (Galatians 6:9)

6. Performing services temporarily (Luke 1:8)

7. The place where John the Baptizer was beheaded (Matthew 14:10)

8. It can be used as food (Mark 1:6)

15. Where the neighborly Samaritan took the wounded man (Luke 10:34)

16. An adult female swine (2 Peter 2:22)

17. This land appeared on the third creative day (Genesis 1:9)

19. Those hoping in Jehovah will do this and not grow weary (Isaiah 40:31)

20. Brought to their end [2 words] (2 Peter 2:9)

21. This king controlled Damascus when Paul escaped harm by being lowered from a wall in a wicker basket (2 Corinthians 11:32)

22. A descendant of David in Jesus’ genealogy (Luke 3:26)

23. To remain firm without yielding (Romans 12:12)

26. To stand firm (1 Timothy 4:16)

27. One of the things God promises to remove (Revelation 21:4)

Crossword Solutions Page 22

Solutions Across

1. DISHONEST GAIN

9. REFUSE

10. RETURN

11. DIRGE

12. SECU

13. NAME

14. PROMISING

18. SOVEREIGN LORD

22. SYNAGOGUE

24. TIME

25. NILE

26. SHARP

28. FOREST

29. AQUILA

30. MONEY HANGERS

Solutions Down

2. SHUT UP

3. OBED

4. EXERCISING FAITH

5. TIRE

6. ACTING

7. PRISON

8. INSECT

15. INN

16. SOW

17. DRY

19. RUN

20. CUT OFF

21. ARETAS

22. SEMEIN

23. ENDURE

26. STAY

27. PAIN

Why Do I Have These Feelings?

Young People Ask . . .

Why Do I Have These Feelings?

“I feel like a war is going on inside me. I don’t know where to turn.”​—Bob.

MANY youths suffer similar mental torment. Unlike their peers who seem consumed with an interest in the opposite sex, they find themselves increasingly attracted to members of their own sex. For many, this is a devastating realization.

One woman said of her daughter: “She began to fail in health, was unable to eat or sleep, and became depressed and moody. She even attempted suicide.” The major cause of this distress? “She had Lesbian feelings.” For some it may not be easy to overcome such inclinations. “When I was a preteen,” confesses a young man we’ll call Mark, “I began having homosexual encounters with some of my friends. I continued this on into adolescence until I started studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses. But sometimes I still had wrong feelings lingering inside me.”

What causes a youth to be attracted to his or her own sex? And what should a youth do if he or she is afflicted with such feelings?

Nature or Nurture?

Nowadays it is popular to say that homosexuals are born that way and that sexual orientation is unchangeable. Time magazine, for example, dramatically announced: “A new study suggests that there is a structural difference between the brains of homosexual and heterosexual men.” However, this study was made on the brains of men who had died of AIDS. Surely this does not prove the point!

Another theory involves hormones. Scientists observed that laboratory rats deprived of male hormones displayed “female” mating behaviors. They concluded that homosexuals may similarly be the victims of a biological mishap​—an exposure to too many or too few male hormones before birth. Many scientists believe, though, that the odd behavior among rats is little more than a reflex​—not really ‘homosexuality.’ Besides, humans are not rats. The Harvard Medical School Mental Health Letter argues: “It is extremely unlikely that prenatal hormones influence . . . human sexuality in the same direct way they organize reflexes involved in the mating behavior of rats.”

Much attention has also been given to genetic studies. Among homosexual males and females who have identical twins, about half of their twins are likewise homosexual. Since monozygotic [identical] twins are genetic duplicates, it seemed logical to conclude that some mysterious gene caused the deviation. However, note that half the twin siblings were not homosexual. If this trait were really genetically programmed, would not all the twins have it? True, genes and hormones may play some role. Even so, Scientific American reported the findings of some that the evidence “strongly suggests that environment contributes significantly to sexual orientation.”

Environmental Factors

Consider the environment of ancient Greece. Spurred on by the erotic stories about some of their mythological gods, the writings of philosophers such as Plato, and the culture of the gymnasium where youths performed unclad, homosexuality became the rage among the elite in the Greek-​speaking world. According to the book Love in Ancient Greece, “it was considered shameful in Crete for a well-​born boy not to have a [male] lover.” No mysterious gene or hormone caused such decadence. It flourished because Greek culture permitted, yes, encouraged it! This well illustrates how powerful a role environment can play.

No doubt the flood of pro-​homosexual propaganda has done much to spread that viewpoint today. Allusions to homosexuality abound in TV, movies, music, and magazines. Cable television has given some youths easy access to hard-​core pornography. Androgynous (unisex) styles of dress and grooming have become chic. Some experts also feel the antimale propaganda promoted by some feminists has contributed to the rise of lesbianism. Youths may also receive exposure to bad influences by association with classmates who openly advocate the homosexual life-​style.​—1 Corinthians 15:33.

Father and Son

Sometimes, faulty family environment also seems to play a major role, especially among males.a A father makes an important contribution to a child’s emotional development. (Ephesians 6:4) The book Making Your Family Life Happy says: “The influence of the father’s masculine qualities can make a vital contribution to the development of a rounded-​out, balanced personality.”b A boy also needs acknowledgment, love, and approval from his father. (Compare Luke 3:22.) What can result when a father fails to give his child this needed attention? Emotional distress. Mental-​health writer Joseph Nicolosi claims that male homosexuality is “almost always the result of problems in family relations, particularly between father and son.”

It may be that a mother unwittingly aggravates the situation by disparaging her husband or by being overly possessive of her son. One study of effeminate boys made this observation: “Some of the parents had wished for a girl instead of a boy and had subtly encouraged their young son to dress as a girl or dressed him that way.”

This is not to say that distorted sexual feelings can automatically be blamed on one’s parents. Many men who have grown up with possessive mothers and negligent, absent, or abusive fathers have still developed masculine personalities. Furthermore, not all with homosexual inclinations necessarily come from dysfunctional families. It does appear, though, that some boys are wounded in a very specific way. “As a consequence of his early sense of rejection by father . . . ,” claims Dr. Nicolosi, “the homosexual carries a sense of weakness and incompetence with regard to those attributes associated with masculinity, that is, power, assertion, and strength. He is attracted to masculine strength out of an unconscious striving toward his own masculinity.”

A young Christian man named Peter writes: “My father was an alcoholic and regularly beat my mother and, at times, us children. When I was 12 years old, he walked out. I keenly felt the lack of a father. I always longed for someone to fill the void I felt every day. When I finally developed a friendship with a fine Christian man who I thought could fill that need, I began to experience sexual feelings for him.”

Interestingly, significant numbers of homosexuals are victims of childhood molestation.c Such molestation can produce lasting physical and emotional damage. For some it may create what one writer called a “distorted sexual identity.” This evidently occurred in ancient Sodom, where young boys manifested a voracious appetite for perverted relations. (Genesis 19:4, 5) Clearly, they were a product of adult exploitation.

The Moral Issue

Scientists may never resolve exactly how much of a role nature and nurture play in same-​sex attraction. But one thing is clear: All humans are born with the tendency to succumb to wrong thinking and inclinations.​—Romans 3:23.

A youth who desires to please God must therefore conform to His moral standards and shun immoral behavior, though doing so may be agonizingly difficult. True, some individuals may very well be prone to homosexuality, just as some individuals are, according to the Bible, “prone to wrath.” (Titus 1:7) But the Bible still condemns displays of unrighteous anger. (Ephesians 4:31) Similarly, a Christian cannot excuse immoral behavior by saying he was ‘born that way.’ Child molesters invoke the same pathetic excuse when they say their craving for children is “innate.” But can anyone deny that their sexual appetite is perverted? So is the desire for someone of the same sex.

Youths who find themselves attracted to the same sex must therefore avoid giving in to their feelings. Why, though, does the Bible so pointedly condemn homosexuality? Is that life-​style really sick and perverted? If so, what can a youth do to steer clear of it? These questions will be discussed in a future issue of Awake!

[Footnotes]

Relatively little research has been done on the development of female homosexuality. No doubt, though, family influences also play a role therein.

Published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.

Child exploitation was evidently a factor in the growth of homosexuality in ancient Greece. The older seducers of young boys were commonly referred to as “wolves”​—the “symbol of greediness and audacious fierceness.” Their young victims were called “lambs.”

When Singleness Is a Gift

The Bible’s Viewpoint

When Singleness Is a Gift

‘I AM lonely,’ laments a Christian woman who has been a widow for several years. ‘I have been hoping for a mate. Keeping busy helps. Having friends helps. But I want to be married.’

When you sincerely desire to be married but your search for a mate has not been successful, singleness hardly seems to be a gift​—it may feel more like you have been sentenced to a prison of negative emotions that leave you weary and depressed. Or if you already have a family of your own but are single, you may have the sole responsibility of providing for all the needs of your children.

Therefore, you may not view your single state as a gift. Some others, though, regard singleness as something very precious, and they choose to live alone. So is singleness a gift, and if so, when and why? What does the Bible say?

Roadblock to Happiness?

Marriage can be a source of great delight. (Proverbs 5:18, 19) Some “are convinced that a walk down the aisle is the only route to happiness and fulfillment,” comments the Los Angeles Times. Is a marriage license the only “ticket” to happiness?

One mental-​health professional, Ruth Luban, says, according to the Los Angeles Times: “Women [and men] will be surprised at how much fulfillment they can find when they stop putting their lives on hold in the hope that a man [or woman] will rescue them from the single life.” Yes, singleness is not something that stands in the way of a happy, fulfilling life. Many a divorced person would confide that marriage is not automatically a road to happiness. True happiness is the result of a good relationship with God. Thus, a Christian can be happy either single or married.​—Psalm 84:12; 119:1, 2.

Besides mentioning self-​induced hurdles, Marie Edwards and Eleanor Hoover, in their book The Challenge of Being Single, hold out another potential roadblock to happiness​—social pressure. They say the “assumption is that if you aren’t married you suffer from some deep, dark, emotional malaise. . . . Something’s wrong with you, for sure.”

Even well-​meaning friends can unwittingly put enormous pressure on single people by naggingly asking, ‘When are you going to get married?’ or, ‘How come a handsome man like you hasn’t found a wife yet?’ Although comments like these may be spoken in jest, they may ‘stab like a sword,’ resulting in hurt feelings or embarrassment.​—Proverbs 12:18.

Each One’s Gift

The apostle Paul was unmarried at the time he traveled as a missionary. Was this because he opposed marriage? Hardly. The apostle Paul was single because he chose to remain unmarried for “the sake of the good news.”​—1 Corinthians 7:7; 9:23.

Paul had the power to refrain from marriage, yet he recognized that not everyone can be like him. He said: “Each one has his own gift from God, one in this way, another in that way.”​—1 Corinthians 7:7.

Singleness can become a road to happiness, even though it may not be the one you had intended to travel. Certainly, marriage is included among the many gifts received from Jehovah. But the Bible indicates that singleness can also be a “gift”​—if you can “make room for it.” (Matthew 19:11, 12; 1 Corinthians 7:36-39) What, then, are some benefits of singleness?

Paul said that married couples are anxious for “the approval” of their mates, whereas the unmarried are “anxious for the things of the Lord.” This highlights one of the greatest benefits of singleness​—the opportunity to serve Jehovah “without distraction.”​—1 Corinthians 7:32-35.

The Bible does not say that a single person lives without distractions completely. A person living alone, however, generally has fewer distractions than one who is caring for a family, since he is the only person to be taken into consideration when he makes a decision. For example, when God directed Abraham to leave Haran and move to the land of Canaan, the Bible says: “Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot the son of his brother and all the goods that they had accumulated and the souls whom they had acquired in Haran, and they got on their way.” (Genesis 12:5) Although Abraham’s family situation did not hold him back, no doubt he spent considerable time organizing his household for such a mission.

Compare Abraham’s move with that of the apostle Paul. While Paul and Silas preached the good news in the city of Thessalonica, an angry mob formed against them. That same night, the brothers sent both Paul and Silas out immediately to Beroea. On another occasion, in Troas, Paul received a vision to “step over into Macedonia and help [them].” Now as soon as he had seen the vision, he left for Macedonia. Clearly, Paul’s having no wife allowed for great freedom of movement in a short period of time, something that would have been more difficult with a family.​—Acts 16:8-10; 17:1-15.

Another benefit that singleness offers is greater freedom of personal choice. When you live alone, deciding where to live, what and when to eat, or even what time to go to bed is usually easier. This freedom also extends to spiritual activities. More time is available to engage in personal study of God’s Word, share in the public ministry, and take advantage of opportunities to be of help to other people.

Therefore, whether you are single because of choice or because of circumstances, be determined to use your time wisely. You will have a happier life when your singleness is spent helping others. (Acts 20:35) If you desire marriage, do not imprison yourself with negative emotions or live your life as though you were only half a person because that ‘special one’ has not yet come along. Keep yourself busy in God’s service, and as Paul said, you may find that singleness can be a gift.

Autism—Meeting the Challenges of a Puzzling Disorder

Autism​—Meeting the Challenges of a Puzzling Disorder

CHRISTOPHER was a handsome, well-​behaved little boy who stopped responding to his name at 18 months of age. At first, it seemed as if he were deaf, yet he always noticed the rustle of a candy wrapper.

In time, other puzzling behaviors also manifested themselves. Rather than playing with his toys in the usual ways, he would just spin their wheels over and over again. He developed an unusual interest in liquids, pouring them out at every opportunity. This, along with his love for climbing, led to many precarious situations and to a great deal of anxiety for his mother.

Most troubling of all, he was oblivious to people, often appearing to look right through them as though they weren’t there. By the time he was two years old, he had stopped speaking altogether. He spent much of his time rocking himself back and forth, and he began having violent temper tantrums, often for reasons that were incomprehensible to his parents. Bewildered, they began searching for answers.

What was the matter with Christopher? Was he spoiled, neglected, mentally retarded, or schizophrenic? No, Christopher is one of at least 360,000 people in the United States who have autism. This puzzling disorder occurs in 4 or 5 out of every 10,000 children worldwide, posing a lifetime of challenges.

What Is Autism?

Autism is a disorder of the brain in which social behavior, communication skills, and thinking ability fail to develop normally. It affects the way sensory input is processed, causing people with autism to overreact to some sensations (sights, sounds, smells, and so forth) and underreact to others. The impairments of autism produce an assortment of unusual behavioral traits. Symptoms, which usually appear before the age of three, can vary greatly from child to child. Consider the following examples.

Imagine reaching out with love to your own beautiful child and getting no response. This often happens when a child has autism. Instead of interacting with people, most children with autism prefer to be alone. They may dislike being cuddled, avoid eye contact, and use people as they would tools​—showing little awareness of others’ feelings. In severe cases some do not seem to make any distinction between family members and strangers. They appear to live in a world of their own, oblivious to the people and events around them. The term “autism,” from the Greek word au·tosʹ meaning “self,” refers to this self-​absorbing quality.

In contrast with their indifference to people, children with autism may become preoccupied with a particular object or activity, pursuing it for several hours at a time in a bizarre, repetitive manner. For example, instead of pretending that toy cars are real ones, they may line the cars up in neat, straight rows or may endlessly spin their wheels. They display repetitiveness in other ways also. Many are intolerant of change in their daily routines, insisting on doing things exactly the same way every time.

Children with autism may also respond in strange ways to the events and situations that they encounter. Their responses can be baffling, since most of them are unable to describe what they are experiencing. Nearly half are mute; often those who can speak use words in unusual ways. Rather than answer a question by saying yes, they may simply repeat the question (a phenomenon called echolalia). Some use expressions that seem strangely out of place and that can only be understood by those familiar with their “code.” For instance, one child used the phrase “it’s all dark outside” as his term for “window.” Many also have difficulty using gestures and may scream or throw a tantrum to signal a need.

Obtaining Appropriate Treatment

During the ’40’s, ’50’s, and ’60’s, autism was considered by many professionals to be an emotional withdrawal in an otherwise normal child. Parents, especially mothers, were saddled with most of the blame for their child’s problems. In the ’60’s, evidence began to accumulate that strongly suggested that autism results from subtle forms of brain damage (although it is still unknown precisely what these are). This led to a shift of emphasis in the treatment of autism from psychotherapy to education. Special teaching techniques were developed, which have proved effective in reducing problem behaviors and in teaching needed skills. As a result of these and other advances, many with autism have made fine progress, and with adequate assistance and support, some are able to hold jobs and lead semi-​independent lives.

However, obtaining appropriate treatment for a child with autism can be a struggle. For a variety of reasons, autism may go unrecognized or improperly diagnosed for months or, in some cases, even years. Educational programs designed for other disabilities may not adequately address the special needs of children with autism. Thus, when trying to obtain needed services for their child, many parents find themselves repeatedly venturing into the unfamiliar world of physicians, educators, and social agencies.

Daily Life

Unlike most youngsters, children with autism do not readily absorb information from their surroundings. Teaching them the basic skills needed at home or in the community is a challenging and slow step-​by-​step process. The day’s routine can keep a parent rushing from task to task; assisting with dressing, feeding, and toileting; redirecting disruptive or inappropriate behaviors; and cleaning up after accidents. “Until [my son] was ten years old,” one parent recalls, “I was just trying to make it through each day.”

Adding to the strain is the child’s need for constant supervision. “Tommy has to be watched constantly,” says his mother, Rita, “because he has little sense of danger.” Since many autistic children also have irregular sleep patterns, the vigil often extends into the night. Florence, whose son Christopher was described at the outset of this article, comments, “I slept with one eye open.”

As the children grow older, some of these demands diminish while others may intensify. Even when progress is made, almost all those with autism continue to require some level of supervision throughout their lives. Since residence facilities suitable for adults with autism are scarce, parents of autistic children face the prospect of either providing lifelong care at home or, if this becomes impossible, placing their grown children in institutions.

Facing the Public

“Now that Joey is 18,” Rosemarie observes, “the hardest thing for us is taking him out in public. Like most autistic children, he’s normal in appearance, but because of his behavior, people stare, laugh, and make comments. Sometimes he’ll stop right in the middle of the street and begin writing in the air with his finger. If he hears loud noises, like car horns or people coughing, he’ll get very agitated and yell out, ‘No! no! no!’ It really puts us on edge because it can happen at any time.” Another parent adds: “It’s a difficult thing to explain to people. When you say, ‘He’s autistic,’ the term doesn’t mean anything to them.”

Because of these difficulties, the primary-​care parent (usually the mother) can easily become isolated. “I’m basically a shy person and don’t like being a public spectacle,” says Mary Ann. “So I would take Jimmy to the playground at times when people usually weren’t there, like early in the morning or at mealtimes.” (Compare Psalm 22:6, 7.) For other parents the challenge is getting out at all. Sheila remarks: “At times I felt like a prisoner in my own home.”

Keeping the Family Together

In Children With Autism, Michael D. Powers writes: “The single most important thing for a child with autism . . . is that her family stay together.” This is a formidable challenge. The difficulties of raising a child with autism are superimposed on an unimaginable emotional trauma. Intense, painful, frightening feelings rise up that can inhibit communication between marriage partners. At a time when both need extra love and support, neither may have much to give. Despite these extraordinary pressures, thousands of couples have met this challenge successfully.

The book After the Tears, by Robin Simons, draws the following three suggestions from the experiences of such successful couples. First, find a way “to examine even the most painful feelings, and to share them.” Second, reexamine household roles and arrangements, making adjustments so that the work load is reasonably shared. Third, schedule regular times to do things together, just the two of you. Dr. Powers further states: “In setting your priorities, dividing your time, balancing everyone’s needs, and deciding just how much you can take, never allow your child’s needs or your devotion to her to jeopardize your family life.”​—Compare Philippians 1:10; 4:5.

Although the effects of autism are profound, individuals affected by it can receive help. An important factor is early recognition, leading to appropriate treatment. Efforts can then be directed into productive channels. The family will not be needlessly consumed if good communication and balanced use of resources exist. (Compare Proverbs 15:22.) The understanding of relatives and friends and their active assistance give parents much-​needed support. People’s awareness of autism, as well as their acceptance of individuals with autism in the community, prevents them from thoughtlessly adding to the burdens of these families. Thus all of us can play a role in meeting the challenges of autism.​—Compare 1 Thessalonians 5:14.

[Blurb on page 21]

“Until [my son] was ten years old,” one parent recalls, “I was just trying to make it through each day”

[Box on page 22]

Special Abilities

Children with autism sometimes show special abilities, such as an amazing memory for detail and trivia. Some have advanced musical ability and can play complex musical passages even if they can’t read music. Some can tell you instantly the day of the week corresponding to any past or future date. Some are gifted in mathematics.

[Box on page 23]

How Others Can Help

Maintain Contact: Initially a family may be so overwhelmed that they are unable to share their feelings with others. With patience, discernment, and persistence, reach out to them. When they are ready to talk about it, listen without pressuring.

Be Slow to Offer Advice: Since children with autism may appear to be spoiled and merely in need of more-​effective discipline, parents often find themselves receiving well-​meaning but uninformed advice from others. Such ‘simple solutions’ can be crushing to struggling parents, leaving them feeling that nobody understands.

Include the Family in Activities: Families having children with autism often feel excluded from the social and recreational activities enjoyed by other families. Invite them to have association with your family. If there are needs requiring special consideration, try to accommodate them. Even if the family cannot accept a particular invitation, they will appreciate that you invited them.

Offer to Watch the Child: One of the family’s greatest needs is to get a break from the unrelenting demands of autism. Start by offering to watch the child for just a few minutes at a time. Eventually you may be able to allow the family to go out for an evening or even to get away for a weekend. Such breaks go a long way in helping families to renew their energy.

More important than the specific services the family receives is the sense of being loved and valued by others. In short, the best thing you can do for a family with an autistic child is to continue to be their friend.

Bee Versus Computer

Bee Versus Computer

HOW smart is the common honeybee? Evidently, far smarter than today’s most powerful supercomputers. And they are a marvel of miniaturization.

One of the world’s most powerful computers can attain the amazing processing speed of 16 gigaflops. In layman’s terms, such a computer can perform 16 billion simple arithmetic operations, such as adding two numbers, each second. In contrast, a conservative count of all the electrical and chemical events taking place in a bee’s brain shows that the lowly honeybee performs the equivalent of ten trillion operations per second. Amazing!

The bee does all of that while consuming a lot less power than a computer. According to Byte magazine, “a honeybee’s brain dissipates less than 10 microwatts. . . . It is superior by about seven orders of magnitude to the most efficient of today’s manufactured computers.” Hence, over ten million bee brains can operate on the power needed for a single 100-​watt light bulb. The most efficient of today’s computers uses hundreds of millions of times more energy to perform an equivalent number of operations.

Yet, honeybees do far more than computers. They can see in color, smell, fly, walk, and maintain their balance. They are able to navigate across long distances to locate sources of nectar and then return to the hive and communicate directions to fellow bees. They are quite efficient chemists as well. They add special enzymes to the nectar to make honey. They manufacture beeswax for use in building and repairing their hives. They prepare special food items, such as royal jelly and beebread, for their young. They protect their home by recognizing and repelling intruders.

…