Awake!, November 22, 1994

Awake! — November 22, 1994

Source: jw.org

Contents

Page Two

Why Some Children Are So Difficult

Parenting a Difficult Child

When More Is Needed

Fads—What Is Their Appeal?

The Canary Islands—Benign Climate, Seductive Scenery

No Longer a Rock or an Island

Spiritual Light for the “Dark Continent”?

Watching the World

From Our Readers

Hoarfrost—Who Is Behind Its Artistry?

Is the Bible Just Another Book?

Page Two

Page Two

Understanding Difficult Children 3-12

Each child develops in his own individual way​—some being very quiet, others being superactive. There are, however, some who lack the ability to pay attention and to sit still. How can they be helped?

The Canary Islands​—Benign Climate, Seductive Scenery 16

Towering volcanoes, primeval forests, spectacular flower stalks as tall as a man​—all of this and more to delight the millions of visitors.

No Longer a Rock or an Island 20

A scarred and emotionally crippled childhood awakens to a life loved and treasured by many.

Why Some Children Are So Difficult

Why Some Children Are So Difficult

“Genetic influences, brain chemistry, and neurological development contribute strongly to who we are as children and what we become as adults.”​—STANLEY TURECKI, M.D.

EACH child grows in his or her own unique, distinctive way. Children display a host of traits and moods that seem to be inborn​—traits that parents may have little or no control over. It is true that rambunctious, restless, and disruptive children have always been around. The best of parents can have a child that is difficult to raise.

But why are certain children so much more difficult and challenging to raise? The number of children who are experiencing serious behavioral problems is on the increase. There is general agreement among clinicians and researchers that from 5 to 10 percent of all children exhibit extreme restlessness and that the inability of these children to pay attention, concentrate, follow rules, and control impulses creates numerous difficulties for them and for their family, their teachers, and their peers.

Dr. Bennett Shaywitz, professor of pediatrics and neurology at Yale University Medical School, zeros in on what may be a key problem: “inherited disturbances in certain chemicals in the brain’s neurotransmitter systems,” which regulate brain cell function and facilitate how the brain regulates behavior. Whatever makes the child difficult to raise, the parents’ priority should be to become adept at effectively managing their youngster’s behavior, providing encouragement and support rather than criticism and disapproval.

In Bible times, parents were the ones responsible for the education and the training of their children. They knew that discipline and instruction in God’s laws would make their child wise. (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7; 2 Timothy 3:15) Therefore, it is the parents’ God-​given responsibility to expend as much effort as possible, despite busy schedules, to meet a child’s needs, especially reacting in a positive way to negative behavior. Inasmuch as many of the behavioral problems seen in pediatric practice today involve children who are hyperactive, impulsive, or inattentive, a discussion of ADD and ADHD as factors in hard-​to-​raise children may be helpful.a

In the 1950’s, these disorders were called “minimal brain dysfunction.” That terminology ceased being used, according to pediatric neurologist Dr. Jan Mathisen, when findings reflected that “ADD is not brain damage at all.” Dr. Mathisen says: “ADD is an apparent defect in certain areas of the brain. We’re still not sure of the precise neurochemical problems involved, but we do feel that there is involvement with a chemical in the brain called dopamine.” He believes the problem involves dopamine regulation. “It’s probably not one single chemical, but a relationship among several chemicals,” he added.

Although there are still many unanswered questions as to the cause of ADD, researchers generally agree with Dr. Mathisen that chronically poor regulation of attention, of impulsivity, and of motor activity is neurological in origin. Recently a study conducted by Dr. Alan Zametkin and researchers at the National Institute of Mental Health, in the United States, traced ADD for the first time to a specific metabolic abnormality in the brain, although it was acknowledged that “a great deal more research has to be done to reach more definitive answers.”

School Presents a Real Challenge

School is usually very difficult for children who are chronically inattentive, distractible, impulsive, or overly active, since the demands on concentration and for staying quiet increase tremendously in the schoolroom setting. Because such children find it so difficult to stay focused on anything for very long, what else is there for them to do but be maddeningly overactive? For some, their lack of attention is so severe that they cannot keep up normal learning, whether at home or at school. Their receiving discipline for being either the class terror or the class clown is not unusual, since they have difficulty controlling their behavior and evaluating the consequences of their actions.

Ultimately, they develop a poor self-​image, perhaps labeling themselves “bad” and “stupid” and acting accordingly. Getting failing grades no matter how hard they try, these children are susceptible to chronic self-​perpetuating failure.

Bewildered, parents become very anxious and confused by their child’s disruptive behavior. At times marital discord results, each parent blaming the other for the situation. Many parents spend a good deal of time angrily harping on the bad and forgetting the good. Therefore, their responses to negative behavior patterns cause more negative interaction. Thus the family, and to some extent others who interact with the child, become locked in a power struggle that is the result of their not understanding and not managing the behavior of a difficult child​—a child with, or without, Attention Deficit Disorder.

A Mother’s Personal Experience With Ronnie

“From the moment Ronnie came into the world, he was never happy but was constantly irritable and crying. Allergic, he had skin rashes, ear infections, and constant diarrhea.

“Ronnie’s early motor skills developed well, though, and he was very quick to sit up, stand, and then walk​—or should I say run? I hurried to do all my housework during his nap times because when my little ‘tornado’ woke up, I would be busy trying to keep him from damaging himself and the house as he raced around getting into anything that struck his fancy, and most things did!

“He had a very short attention span. Nothing occupied him for very long. He hated to sit still. Of course, this was a problem when we took him any place where he was expected to sit still​—especially congregation meetings. It was useless to spank him for not sitting quietly. He just couldn’t. Many well-​meaning people complained or gave us advice, but nothing worked.

“Ronnie was bright, so when he was about the age of three, we started a daily short-​session reading program with him. By the time he was five, he could read quite well. Then he went to school. After about a month, I received a request to come in and talk to the teacher. She told me that when she first saw Ronnie, she thought he looked like an angel, but after having him in her class for a month, she now thought he was from the other place! She informed me that he was always jumping, tripping other kids, or pulling on them. He wouldn’t be quiet or sit still, and he disturbed the entire class. He lacked self-​control. She also noted that a rebellious attitude was developing. It was recommended that he be put in a special education class and that we take him to a doctor to get a prescription for a drug to calm him down. We were devastated!

“Medicine was not the appropriate choice for Ronnie, but the pediatrician gave us some practical suggestions. It was his opinion that Ronnie was bright and bored; he therefore suggested that we keep Ronnie busy, that we give him love and more love, and that we be patient and positive. He thought Ronnie would become less of a problem with age and a change of diet.

“We realized that our son needed to be worked with carefully, that he needed to be helped to learn to channel his energy in a positive way. This would take lots of time; therefore, we changed our daily schedules, spending many hours working with him on schoolwork, patiently teaching and explaining things to him. We ceased using negative words or blaming him for his thoughtlessness and mischief. Our aim was to build up his low self-​esteem. We discussed rather than ordered and demanded. If there were any decisions that involved him, we asked for his opinion.

“Some things that come naturally to other children did not come easily to Ronnie. For instance, he had to learn how to be patient, how to be calm, how to sit still, and how to control his exaggerated physical activity. But it was controllable. Once he understood that he had to make a conscious effort to slow down and think about what he was doing, or going to do, he began to get it all together. By age 13, his behavior was normal. Happily, everything went smoothly from then on, even during the usually rebellious teenage years.

“The dividends from giving Ronnie lots of love, and equal amounts of time and patience, have paid off handsomely!”

[Footnotes]

ADD refers to Attention Deficit Disorder, and ADHD refers to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder throughout these articles.

Parenting a Difficult Child

Parenting a Difficult Child

“DID you have a nice day?” Susan asks her son Jimmy when he clambers into the car as she picks him up from school. Frowning, he ignores her. “Oh, you must have had a bad day,” she states sympathetically. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Leave me alone,” he grumbles in reply.

“I’m just worried about you. You seem so unhappy. I want to help.”

“I don’t want your help!” he screams. “Leave me alone! I hate you. I wish I was dead!”

“Jimmy!” Susan gasps, “don’t talk to me like that or​—or I’ll spank you! I was only trying to be nice. I don’t understand what’s the matter with you. Nothing I say or do pleases you.”

Flustered and frazzled from her own day’s work, Susan weaves through traffic wondering how she ever managed to acquire such a child. She feels confused, helpless, and angry, as well as resentful toward her own son, and feelings of guilt hammer at her. Susan dreads taking him home​—her own child. She almost doesn’t want to know what happened today at school. No doubt the teacher would call again. Sometimes Susan just could not cope.

Thus seemingly simple incidents erupt into powerful emotional ordeals fraught with anxiety. Children who are ADD/​ADHD, or are otherwise labeled “difficult,” characteristically react quite vehemently when confronted with problems. They tend quickly to reach an explosive state, leaving parents angry, bewildered, and ultimately spent.

Evaluation and Intervention

Typically, these children are bright, creative, and keenly sensitive. It is important to realize that they are healthy children with extraordinary needs, consequently requiring a special depth of understanding. Following are some principles and ideas that parents of such children have found successful.

First, it is necessary to learn to recognize the situations and the stimuli that upset the child. (Compare Proverbs 20:5.) It is essential for the parent to observe the signals in the child that precede emotional confrontations and to intervene promptly. A key indicator is the facial expression that reflects a rising frustration level and an inability to handle a given situation. Issuing kind verbal reminders that the child needs to control himself or, if necessary, removing him from the situation may help. Time-​outs, for example, are effective, not so much as a form of punishment but as a way to give both the child and the parent a chance to regain calm and then to proceed rationally.

In the illustration given, Jimmy overreacted to simple questions. This is typical everyday behavior for Jimmy. Although it is easy for a parent to take this anger and resentment personally, it is essential to realize that these children often lose comprehension (reasoning) once they have reached their stress-​tolerance level. Therefore, it is important to act with insight. (Proverbs 19:11) In Jimmy’s case, Susan could defuse the situation by backing off and giving her boy time to control himself, and perhaps later they could discuss the day’s events.

Stressed-​Out Kids

Never before has the family of man been confronted with such enormous problems, pressures, and anxieties as those that afflict the modern world. Times are different, the demands are more intense, and more is required of children. Concerning this issue, the book Good Kids, Bad Behavior relates: “Many of the problems which children seem to be experiencing may be either caused or influenced by changing social expectations.” For ADD/​ADHD children, school can be a nightmare. As they struggle to cope with their own inadequacies, they are forced to adapt to an explosion of technological advances that rapidly continue to change in an atmosphere that can appear to be both hostile and dangerous, adding to their anxiety. Emotionally, children are too immature to handle all these problems. They need their parents’ help.

Reduce the Friction

In order to have happier, healthier children, it is important to provide an environment of order and stability. An effective plan for reducing friction in the home might begin with a simplified life-​style. Since these children are impulsive, distractible, and overactive, it is necessary to reduce the negative effect of overstimulation. Cut down on the amount of toys that such children are allowed to play with at one time. Attempt only one chore or project at a time until it is completed. Since these children are often disorganized themselves, organization minimizes frustration. The fewer and the more accessible the items that they have to keep up with, the easier it is to manage what is important.

Another effective way of reducing stress in the home is to implement a structured, not rigid, routine, providing children with a sense of stability. The time schedule is not as crucial as the sequence, the order in which events occur. This might be achieved by applying practical suggestions such as the following. Provide proper nutrition with simple well-​balanced meals and snacks at regular times. Make bedtime rituals warm, loving, and relaxing. Shopping trips can overstimulate highly active children, so plan ahead and try not to go to too many stores. And when on an outing, explain what kind of behavior you expect. Definite routines help the child with special needs to control his own impulsive behavior. Furthermore, it helps to establish parental predictability.

Along with a sense of structure, it is beneficial to formulate a system of rules and to include the consequences for breaking nonnegotiable rules. Defined rules that are consistent, as well as agreeable to both mates, set the perimeters of acceptable behavior for children​—and also teach accountability. Post a list of rules in a prominent place, if needed (for the parent to remember, as well as the child). Consistency is the key to emotional security.

Understanding a child’s preferences, his likes and dislikes, and adapting to them can do much to alleviate unnecessary pressure in the home. Because the special nature of these children is often erratic and impulsive, their interacting with other children can be a very difficult experience. Sharing, especially toys, might be a particular point of conflict, so parents might allow such children to choose favorite items that can be shared. Further, regulating their level of stimulation by providing them with a small group of playmates and creating activities that will not overexcite may also help to control their low sensory threshold.

It is important for parents to allow each child to grow in his or her own way and to avoid compressing or molding the child to unnecessary conformity. If a child detests a certain food or article of clothing, eliminate it. These little thorns of irritation are simply not worth the conflict. In effect, don’t attempt to control everything. Be balanced, but when decisions are made as to what is acceptable to a Christian family, stick to them.

Behavior Management

Unpredictable children tend to require a higher degree of management. As a result, many parents are plagued with guilt if they have to discipline frequently. It is important to discern, however, the distinction between discipline and abuse. According to the book A Fine Line​—When Discipline Becomes Child Abuse, reportedly 21 percent of all physical abuse occurs when children exhibit aggressive behavior. Hence, research concludes that children who are ADD/​ADHD are at “greater risk of physical abuse and neglect.” Undeniably, raising youngsters who have special needs can be stressful, but their management must be healthy and balanced. Since these children are usually highly intelligent and very creative, they pose a challenge to parents handling situations that require reasoning. Such children often have a way of pointing up the flaws in a parent’s most brilliant logic. Don’t let them! Retain the authority as the parent.

In a friendly way, but firmly, make explanations brief; in other words, don’t overexplain, and do not negotiate nonnegotiable rules. Let your “yes” mean yes and your “no” mean no. (Compare Matthew 5:37.) Children are not diplomats; consequently, negotiations with them lead to arguments, anger, and frustration and can even escalate into screaming and violence. (Ephesians 4:31) Similarly, avoid warning too much. If discipline is called for, it should be given promptly. The book Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World urges: “Calm, confident, and firm​—that’s what authority is all about.” Further, note the excellent suggestions in The German Tribune: “Always talk to the child in such a way as to hold its attention: use its name often, keep eye-​to-​eye contact and use simple language.”

Abuse occurs when parents lose control. If a parent is screaming, he or she has already lost control. Proverbs chapter 15 addresses the subject of child-​rearing and discipline. For example, Pr 15 verse 4 states: “The calmness of the tongue is a tree of life, but distortion in it means a breaking down in the spirit”; Pr 15 verse 18: “An enraged man stirs up contention, but one that is slow to anger quiets down quarreling”; and, finally, Pr 15 verse 28: “The heart of the righteous one meditates so as to answer.” Hence, it is important to recognize not only what we say but how we say it, as well.

Commendation, Not Condemnation

Because hard-​to-​raise children do things that are creative, strange, even maniacal, it’s easy for the parents to give in to faultfinding, ridiculing, berating, and striking out in anger. However, according to Today’s English Version, the Bible at Ephesians 6:4 instructs parents to bring up children with “Christian discipline and instruction.” How did Jesus discipline erring ones? Jesus used instructive discipline that trained and taught people, dealing with them fairly and firmly. Discipline is a process, a method of instruction, that, when dealing with children, usually has to be done over and over again.​—See the article “The Bible’s Viewpoint . . . ‘The Rod of Discipline’​—Is It Out-​of-​Date?,” in the September 8, 1992, Awake!

Proper discipline creates an environment of trust, warmth, and stability; therefore, when discipline is necessary, it should be administered with explanations. There are no instant solutions when training children, since children learn gradually, over time. It takes a lot of caring and loving, a lot of time and work, to raise properly any child, especially a difficult-​to-​raise child. The following little saying may be helpful to remember: “Say what you mean, mean what you say, and do what you say you will do.”

One of the most frustrating aspects of the problem of dealing with children who have worrisome behavior is their inordinate craving for attention. Too often the attention that they receive is negative rather than positive. However, be quick to notice, commend, or reward good behavior or a job well done. This is very encouraging to a child. At first your efforts might seem exaggerated, but they are well worth the results. Children need small but immediate rewards.

A Father’s Experience With Greg

“Our son Greg was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of five, when he was in kindergarten. At that time we saw a developmental pediatrician who confirmed that Greg was definitely ADHD. He told us: ‘It’s not his fault, and it’s not your fault. He can’t help it, but you can.’

“We think of those words often, because they bring home to us that as parents we have a great responsibility to help our son cope with his ADHD. That day the doctor sent us home with literature to read, and we believe the knowledge we have gained in the past three years has been very important in fulfilling our parental responsibilities toward Greg.

“It’s vitally important in raising an ADHD child to reinforce appropriate behavior and to provide warnings and, if necessary, a penalty for misbehavior. The more structured and consistent you can be, the better the results you will see. These simple statements are probably a key factor in raising an ADHD child. Yet, because you need to do it so many times a day, it’s easier said than done.

“A device we have found most effective is the time-​out. Whenever we use time-​outs to change a misbehavior, we also institute a program of reinforcement to encourage more positive behavior. This reinforcer can be a word of approval, a hug, or even a token or privilege. We went to a store and bought a sticker chart. We put at the top what the appropriate behavior is. Each time we see Greg in the appropriate behavior, we give him a sticker to put on his chart. When the chart is full, say 20 stickers, he gets a reward. This is usually something he really enjoys doing, such as going to a park. It’s helpful because it motivates him to do well. He puts the stickers on and can see how he is doing and how close he is to a reward.

“Another tool we have found effective is to give Greg choices. Instead of a direct command, we give a choice. Either he can do the appropriate behavior or he can get the logical consequence. This teaches responsibility and the making of proper decisions. If it’s something that is continually a problem, such as acting up in a store or a restaurant, we can use the sticker chart with a reward. He thus sees benefit in the appropriate behavior, and we show our recognition of his improvements.

“Most people are not aware that ADHD affects the child’s ability to regulate his or her behavior and responses. Many people believe that these children could control their attention span and their behavior if they tried harder, and when they fail, the parents are blamed.

“It is physically impossible for an ADHD child to sit still for two hours in a congregation meeting at the Kingdom Hall. We will never forget how Greg at the mere age of five years old used to cry before every meeting and ask us, ‘Is this a long meeting or a short meeting?’ He would cry very hard when it was a two-​hour meeting because he knew he couldn’t sit still that long. We have to make allowances for the disorder and the limitations it brings. We know that Jehovah understands the disorder better than anyone, and that’s a source of comfort. At this point Greg is not on medication and is at his grade level.

“Making Jehovah our hope and keeping our eyes focused on the new world sustain us. Our hope already means a lot to Greg. He gets really excited, even teary-​eyed, when he thinks of how Jehovah will do away with ADHD in the Paradise earth.”

[Box on page 9]

Possible rewards for good behavior:

1. PRAISE​—verbal commendation for a job well done; expressed appreciation for good behavior, accompanied with love, hugs, and warmth in facial expressions.

2. CHART SYSTEM​—prominently displayed, with attractive stickers or stars to encourage good behavior.

3. LIST OF GOOD THINGS​—of acceptable and praiseworthy accomplishment. Each time the child does something well, no matter how small at first, write it down, and read it to a family member.

4. BEHAVIOR BAROMETER​—depending on the age of the child, adding beans or jelly beans to a jar when the child does something well (tangible reinforcement). The object is to establish a point system for granting a reward that might include something that the family was going to do anyway, such as going to a movie, skating, or eating at a restaurant. Rather than stressing to the child: “If you don’t behave, we won’t go,” try: “If you do behave, we will go.” The key is to change negative thinking into positive thinking, while allowing a reasonable time for change to take place.

[Picture on page 7]

Conversations can sometimes flare up emotionally

[Picture on page 8]

When decisions are made, explain them, and stick with them

[Picture on page 10]

He proudly adds a new sticker to his chart

When More Is Needed

When More Is Needed

ALTHOUGH many of the suggestions in the preceding articles can be very helpful, sometimes more assistance is needed in specific circumstances. Case studies include, for example, reports of children who are not only impulsive but also very dangerous. These children, even though cared for by loving families, manifest their destructive behavior by smashing things, screaming at people, starting fires, shooting guns, stabbing with knives (if available), and harming animals, other people, or themselves, if it happens to cross their minds to do so. In essence, they epitomize chaos.

Whether or not to obtain medical assistance, in order to have the best care for their child, is a private personal decision to make. Each family must decide how to meet the distinctive individual needs of their child, having in mind the comforting assurance given to parents at Proverbs 22:6.

One of the most controversial treatments, currently, is the issue of medication. The most frequently prescribed drug, Ritalin, has had mixed results. Many families have been well pleased with the progress of their child while he is on Ritalin or other activity-​modifying drugs. However, current debate continues, not only about the usefulness of these drugs but about the overprescription of them. In fact, some doctors challenge their value entirely, stating, for example, that Ritalin used for extended periods can have many harmful side effects. It must be emphasized again, however, that many families and doctors cite few side effects with improved behavior and academic progress. Interestingly, many adults who have been diagnosed as having ADD and who are currently on medication are also happy with the results. Medication is, therefore, a private decision based on careful research and evaluation.

For those who have attempted medication with poor results, there are alternative methods of treatment. Many families have read about and recorded good results with vitamin and herbal treatments or a combination of both. As noted earlier, ADD/​ADHD may be caused in some instances by biochemical imbalances in the brain that these treatments are believed to help correct.

Additionally, there are other factors that some believe trigger many of the problems associated with ADD/​ADHD. Dr. Doris Rapp, in her book Is This Your Child?, states that “some children have physical illness and/​or emotional, behavioral, and learning problems that are partly or mainly related to allergies or environmental exposures.” Also, reactions to dyes, sugars, and additives may actually mimic these problems with violent tantrums, mood swings, and insomnia.

Many families have learned how to modify their children’s behavior, yet their academic performance can create additional problems. For some, special services such as tutors, counseling, support groups, and special teachers may help. Because these children tend to do better in a one-​on-​one arrangement, some families, at their doctor’s suggestion, have reported success with home schooling.

Not to be overlooked are many new educational projects, such as Dr. Mel Levine’s Schools Attuned, which celebrates individual uniqueness and diversity of children. Dr. Levine’s program advocates custom designing education to meet the needs of every child. Wherever this diversified approach to learning has been implemented in the United States, the results seem to have been good.

The Future

Raising children might be likened to purchasing a new home. Both require a lifetime investment; however, because of circumstances, prospective buyers may be forced to settle for less than the ideal. Similarly, imperfect parents raising imperfect children in Satan’s world are forced to settle for less than the ideal. The newly purchased home might have unusual or undesirable features, but with work and a little imagination, many awkward features can be practically eliminated. Even a difficult architectural feature may soon become the focal point of the home.

Likewise, if parents adapt to the individual needs of their unusual child, he or she can become a beautiful part of their lives. Each child must be appreciated for his own qualities. Therefore, focus on the positive. Rather than stifling children, encourage each one’s creativity, and appreciate that he or she is a worthy person deserving of dignity and love​—a precious gift from Jehovah God.​—Psalm 127:3-5.

Fads—What Is Their Appeal?

Young People Ask . . .

Fads​—What Is Their Appeal?

YOUNG Avery is one of the thousands​—perhaps millions—​of youths who have been swept up by the popular fad of wearing slogan T-shirts. Of course, slogan T-shirts have been around for a long time; your parents may even have worn them as youths. According to Newsweek magazine, however, there is a new twist on this fad. Some youths are now “flaunting T shirts that pluck messages directly from the gutter.”

The new shirts carry slogans that are, for the most part, simply unprintable. They range from racial slurs to vulgar comments about women. Followers of this rage seem to have little concern for how others​—including their parents—​feel about the nasty slogans. When 18-​year-​old Andrea asked a youth why he wore a particularly offensive shirt, “he didn’t know what to say, just coming up with excuses like, ‘It’s cool’ and ‘Everybody wears one.’”

Over the past decades, hundreds of fads have captured the attention of youths. One of the most popular​—and profitable—​fads of all time was the Hula-​Hoop craze that hit the scene in the United States back in the 1950’s. Go back a few years earlier, and swallowing goldfish and seeing how many people could fit into a telephone booth were popular. In recent years, break dancing, faded jeans, skateboards, and “streaking” (dashing about naked in public) have all had their moments of popularity. One Bible writer observed: “The scene of this world is changing.” (1 Corinthians 7:31) Today, dozens of fads​—some ranging from foolish to dangerous—​are currently in vogue among youths.

Youths and Their Clothing Fads

Take clothing, for example. According to Time magazine, rap music (often called hip-​hop) “is now possibly the most successful American export this side of the microchip, permeating, virtually dominating, worldwide youth culture.” But, as you well know, rap is much more than music. Adds Time: “Rap is also a worldwide fashion commodity. Local variations of the basic American street outfit​—baggy pants, pricey sneakers, hooded sweatshirts, flashes of jewelry—​turn up everywhere.” Heavy promotion by popular groups​—and by music videos—​has fueled a burgeoning demand for hip-​hop styles.

The baggy look is anything but cheap​—the high-​cut running shoes alone often cost a small fortune! But many youths feel it’s worth the price. According to one youth named Marcus, “if you don’t wear baggy clothes, you’re not hip hop.”

That’s just fine with youths whose tastes lean toward the popular “grunge” look. The torn jeans and plaid shirts that characterize this dress craze were popularized by some American underground rock bands. One writer called the “grunge” uniform “put-​on poverty.” Put-​on, indeed. The sloppy garb can be anything but cheap. Then there is “retro-​chic.” According to the Canadian magazine Maclean’s, these are “fashions that revive fads from the late 1960s and early 1970s.” Adults stare in amused wonderment as youths pay top dollar for paraphernalia​—such as platform shoes and bell-​bottom pants—​that seemingly had long since gone the way of disco music.

High Tech High Fashion

Electronic pocket pagers, or beepers, are another example of how imaginative youths can turn virtually anything into high fashion. Originally used by doctors and other professionals who are constantly on call, the gadgets soon became popular with urban drug dealers. The beepers made it easy for drug sellers to arrange meetings with potential customers. According to The New York Times, “so widespread was their use that [pocket pagers] became a symbol of the drug culture.” Little wonder, then, that school boards nationwide began banning the tiny gadgets from school!

To little avail, however. Beepers have become enormously popular among urban youths. Some use them for their intended purpose, as communication devices, enabling their parents to keep better track of them or to contact them in an emergency. But for other youths, the device is simply a fashion accessory. According to the Times, “teen-​agers are tucking beepers into knapsacks, coat pockets and belts. There are beeper watches, beeper ties, beeper pens, blue, pink and red beepers, and plain old ordinary black and brown beepers.” While some grown-​ups still automatically associate beepers with drug use, one New York City police officer says: “It’s just a hot market item. A few of the kids who have them are into drugs, but the majority are not. It’s just a fad.”

Fads​—Bizarre and Dangerous

While clothing fads may be tolerable at best and offensive at worst, some popular fads seem to violate all rules of common sense. In order to achieve the waif look of some popular models, many young girls take to fad diets​—with little thought as to the consequences to their health and well-​being. “Dieting is a national obsession,” writes Alvin Rosenbaum. “Take a look at any list of the 10 best-​selling books and you’ll usually find a diet book listed.” Rosenbaum points out that many of these popular books promote diets of dubious efficacy. Many experts blame the thinness craze for the disturbing rise in eating disorders​—such as anorexia nervosa—​among teenagers.a

Other faddish methods of embellishing personal appearance may be equally dangerous​—and bizarre. According to an article in Newsweek, “tattooing, the art of the primitive and the outlaw, has been moving steadily into the fashion mainstream.” Spurred on by the examples of movie celebrities and heavy-​metal rock musicians, some youths long for the chance to have elaborate tattoos permanently affixed to their own torsos. Warnings by doctors about the dangers of hepatitis and allergic reactions to tattoo inks do not seem to perturb them.

Or what about the weird fad called body piercing? Whereas pierced ears may be customary for women in some cultures, some have gone beyond all reasonableness and have had holes punched in their tongues and navels from which they dangle ostentatious jewelry. For any youth dead set on offending his or her parents, it is hard to beat a huge nose ring for sheer shock value.

Fads​—What Is Behind Them?

The book Adolescents and Youth defines a fad as “a sporadic short-​term fashion bordering on a cult. Fads are by definition temporary and unpredictable, and they are especially prevalent among teenagers.” But just what is it that makes millions of youths suddenly wear baggy jeans or carry beepers? Manufacturers and advertisers would love to have a scientific answer to that question. An article in the British magazine The Economist acknowledged: “Fads and fashions seem to defy rational explanation.”

The book Adolescents and Youth, however, ventures an explanation, saying: “Various factors may explain the popularity of fads: the desire to attract attention; the urge to conform to what peer groups prize; the need for distinctiveness as individuals and as age groups; and the fascination with the unusual.” One teenage boy put it simply: “High school [secondary school] is a good time to act kind of crazy and get it out of your system.”

The Bible does not condemn youthful behavior. In fact, it says: “Young people, enjoy your youth. Be happy while you are still young. Do what you want to do, and follow your heart’s desire.” However, the Bible follows up that advice with this caution: “But remember that God is going to judge you for whatever you do.” (Ecclesiastes 11:9, Today’s English Version) In view of this sobering advice, how should a Christian youth respond to the latest fads? Should you be the first to jump on the fad bandwagon? Our next article in this series will offer some helpful advice along these lines.

[Footnotes]

For information on eating disorders, see Awake! of December 22, 1990. See also the “Young People Ask . . .” articles of April 22 and May 8, 1994 for balanced information on weight loss.

[Blurb on page 14]

“These shirts . . . Everybody’s wearing them.” 17-​year-​old Avery

[Picture on page 15]

Body piercing and tattooing have become very popular

The Canary Islands—Benign Climate, Seductive Scenery

The Canary Islands​—Benign Climate, Seductive Scenery

BY AWAKE! CORRESPONDENT IN SPAIN

FAR across the sea, it was said, beyond the Pillars of Hercules, lay some enchanted islands. The soil was so rich, the climate so benign, that anything and everything would grow there. These were the Fortunate Islands. We now know them as the Canary Islands, “Canary” being derived from the Latin canis, referring to the large, fierce dogs that once abounded there.

This romantic blend of fact and fiction, idealized by Roman and Greek writers, was based on the yarns of the few intrepid sailors who plied the Atlantic before the time of Christ. Today, it is the tourist who retraces the steps of those ancient mariners. The islands are real enough, although some of the magic and most of the mystery have evaporated. Their climate is indeed benign, seductive enough to attract millions of visitors who seek a respite from the harsh winters of Northern Europe.

The mild climate is not the only attraction. The islands harbor a singular variety of scenery and vegetation that more than justifies the creation of national parks in four of the seven principal islands.

Tenerife​—A Rock Garden Above the Clouds

The largest island, Tenerife, is dominated by Pico de Teide, a dormant volcano towering above the clouds that roll in from the Atlantic. Surrounding the volcanic dome lies a huge subalpine amphitheater, which along with the majestic volcano constitutes the Teide National Park. The park is host to a unique flora that comes to life in the late spring and early summer when the plants take advantage of accumulated moisture from winter snows. Suddenly the stark volcanic terrain is transformed into a rock garden ablaze with color.

Two of the most unusual flowers of the park are found nowhere else in the world. They are the red tajinaste and the Teide violet. The red tajinaste is arguably the most impressive plant of the archipelago​—a myriad clusters of red flowers growing in tight spirals around a solitary stalk that reaches a height of six feet or more. The tall blooms look like red floral chimneys saluting the deep-​blue sky.

The Teide violet, which decorates the volcano’s throat with a lilac garland, is remarkable for its tenacity. It grows just a few feet from the 12,000-​foot [3,700 m] summit, where no other vegetation survives.

La Palma​—A Verdant Volcanic Caldron

La Palma has one of the largest craters in the world. Its rim has a circumference of about 17 miles [27 km] and is almost 8,000 feet [2,400 m] high. The immense hollow below, which occupies the center of the island, is a collapsed volcano that over the years has been sculptured by wind and rain into what looks like a massive caldron. Hence the Spanish name caldera (Spanish for caldron), a word that is applied to similar craters throughout the world.a

The caldera, all of which is now a national park, is almost completely covered by a magnificent pine forest. The Canary pine, the dominant tree, covers all but the steepest slopes, protecting the walls of the caldera against further erosion. Nearly cut off from the outside world by its inaccessibility, the unspoiled caldera is a haven of beauty and peace for nature lovers who venture inside.

Gomera​—A Stepping-​Stone to America

It was from this obscure island that Columbus sailed into the unknown. It had just been conquered by the Spanish, and Columbus stopped in the small port of San Sebastián to take on water and provisions.

At the time of Columbus, the inhabitants of the island, the Guanches, were still living a primitive life, but they were an adaptable people. Because of the hilly nature of the terrain, they had developed a unique language consisting of whistles enabling them to converse with one another from ridge to ridge over distances of a couple of miles or more. Although largely forgotten, this “telewhistle” technique is still used by elderly ones when they wish to pass on a quick news item. Jehovah’s Witnesses preaching in isolated villages have heard on more than one occasion the message “The Witnesses are here!” whistled from the hilltops.

On the higher slopes of the island is a national park created to protect a primeval forest. Its dark interior, invariably swathed in mist and full of tortured boughs covered with feathery lichen, conjures up memories of long-​forgotten fairy stories. Strange as it may seem, it usually rains here underneath the trees. Clouds whipped over the forest by the prevailing northerly winds are “milked” of their water by the trees. Thus, beneath the trees there is usually a steady drizzle, whereas in the open it may not be raining at all.

Fossil remains indicate that this laurel forest (called laurisilva) once existed throughout the Mediterranean region. But a change in climate millenniums ago drastically reduced its range to just a few hilltops of the Canary Islands.

Lanzarote​—A Desert Island With a Difference

Lanzarote is a desert island that, while not deserted, is certainly desertlike. Rainfall is nearly nonexistent. Life here had always been difficult for the small population, but then two centuries ago a series of violent volcanic eruptions changed the face of the island. The volcanoes brought death and life. Death, in that a quarter of the island was entombed by lava flows bringing an abrupt end to many villages and homesteads. Life, in that from the ashes of the volcanoes the islanders have wrought a livelihood.

Thanks to vast quantities of porous volcanic gravel, a leftover from the eruptions, the islanders can cultivate fruit and vegetables even though it may not rain for months. The fields are covered with a four-​inch layer of gravel that not only preserves the humidity of the underlying soil but actually captures moisture from the humid night air and transmits it to the soil below. Vineyards, fig trees, tomatoes, corn, and other crops sprout unexpectedly from the black gravel.

The Timanfaya National Park includes spectacular craters and a vast surrounding area engulfed by the lava they discharged. The desertlike climate has preserved the congealed lava almost intact, and the visitor who tours the park may well imagine that the eruptions ceased only yesterday. The dramatic volcanic landscape, along with the white picturesque villages, gives the island a surrealistic beauty all its own.

Doubtless these fascinating volcanic islands are a tribute to the adaptability of their inhabitants and the vegetation that grows there. Above all, their natural beauty moves the reverent visitor to attribute praise to the Creator of such variety.

[Footnotes]

Crater Lake in Oregon, U.S.A., is a famous caldera that has subsequently filled with water.

[Box/​Pictures on page 18]

Canary Island Fauna and Flora

The canary. (1) Named after the archipelago, these birds are still plentiful, although, in the wild, they are not as colorful as the popular caged birds whose vivid colors are the result of over four centuries of selective breeding.

Aeonium species. (2) Over two dozen types are found throughout the islands, many growing in rocky crevices. Some, such as Aeonium lancerottensis, (3) even grow out of petrified lava.

The Teide violet. (4) These delicate blooms thrive in a hostile volcanic environment nearly 12,000 feet [3,700 m] above sea level.

The banana plant. (5) Bananas have been cultivated in the Canary Islands for centuries. Spanish colonizers took them to the Caribbean shortly after the discovery of America.

The red tajinaste. (6) Clusters of tiny red flowers grow in spirals around a solitary stalk that often reaches a height of more than six feet.

The dragon tree. (7) The most unusual and beloved tree of the islands, this example is said to be three thousand years old. Ancient specimens such as this one are carefully nurtured in municipal parks.

[Map]

(For fully formatted text, see publication)

La Palma

Tenerife

Gomera

Hierro

Lanzarote

Fuerteventura

Grand Canary

[Pictures]

Tenerife is dominated by Pico de Teide, a dormant volcano

1. The Canary.

2. Aeonium species.

3. Aeonium lancerottensis

4. The Teide violet.

5. The banana plant.

6. The red tajinaste.

7. The dragon tree.

[Pictures on page 16, 17]

1. Granadillo

2. Tabaiba Majorera

3. Verol dulce

4. Ercila

5. Hierba blanca

6. Teide violet

No Longer a Rock or an Island

No Longer a Rock or an Island

A LINE from a song of the ’60’s went: ‘I am a rock/​I am an island/​And the rock feels no pain/​And an island never cries.’ This song was a favorite of mine because it was how I lived. I could never remember feeling things others said they felt, such as love, compassion, and pity. I would fake such feelings and believed others did also. I could not remember ever crying as an adult. And here I was​—50 years old and serving as an elder in a Christian congregation, alone in my home, choking on sobs because of a book that I was reading. How could this be happening to this “rock,” this “island”?

I was born in 1936 in a suburb of Boston, the fourth of eight children. My father and mother were alcoholics. We did not discuss feelings, hug, or express love in any way that I can remember. When I was six months old, someone put me in the bathtub, put in the stopper, turned the water on, and left. The housekeeper found me and saved my life. The only things I felt as a child were fear, dread, rage, and physical pain.

These were taught me by my father who would explode with rage and almost without exception express it on my little body with his fists and feet. The look on his face at those times still haunts me a half century later. Most of my life I believed these beatings were because I was such a bad boy, but now I know his rage expressed against me had nothing to do with my being good or bad.

In my fifth and sixth years, I was sexually abused by the family doctor. When I started school, we lived in a city of 250,000 WASPs (white Anglo-​Saxon Protestants), and my schoolmates tormented and chased me, the little Jewish boy. When these gangs of 10 or 12 kids could catch me, they would strip off my clothes, beat me, and throw my clothes up into the tops of trees. I had to climb the trees in the nude to retrieve my clothes.

One month shy of my 18th birthday, I joined the military to get away from home. Till then I had never tasted alcohol, but almost immediately I started drinking and was addicted just as immediately. I stayed 20 years in the military and was drunk whenever I could beg, borrow, or steal the price of a beer. I was married at 24 and had a son, but my wife and son lived in a house dominated and controlled by an alcoholic​—me—​who viewed them both as a burden and an unnecessary expense.

I retired from the military in 1974 and tried business for a short time, but I soon quit that. I was no longer drinking, since my body would not take any more alcohol. I would break out in hives after only one or two beers. Now I was addicted to drugs​—mostly marijuana, but others when available. This made it impossible for me to hold a job, so I stayed home and kept house while my wife, Donna, worked.

Jehovah’s Witnesses Come Calling

One morning my wife was leaving for work. It was 7:30, and I was already stoned. This made her angry. On her way out the front door she threw a sign at me and screamed: “I hope they pester you to death.” The sign was one that she had always kept in the window and that read, in large letters, “NO JW’S.” I put it in the trash. The next morning two women came to my door. They were Jehovah’s Witnesses.

By this time I had adopted Buddhism as my religion. I had long ago rejected the Bible because of the hypocrisy of my Jewish and Catholic parents. I had searched for God for a time but had given up looking, assuming there was no God. I believed in evolution and felt I had proved there was no God by standing out in the open during the monsoon lightning season and looking up and calling God every foul name I could think of and saying: “If you exist, strike me dead.” If I were God, I would have done so. Since he didn’t, I concluded that there must be no God. I thought the world was doomed because of man’s inability to stop destroying it, and I was hoping I could watch it all happen on TV while staying stoned.

As it so happened, that next morning the two women came. I was stoned and looking for amusement. We had a meaningless conversation for about 20 minutes, ending with their offer of a little blue book for 25 cents. I figured 20 minutes of amusement was worth 25 cents and so took the book and tossed it on the table without interest.

The next morning I was looking for something to read so that I could put off smoking dope for a while. I saw the little blue book and picked it up, hoping it could entertain me for an hour or so. Four hours later I had finished the book and was totally convinced that it was what its title said: The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life. I had drugs in the house and knew that as soon as I put the book down I would get loaded and discount everything I had read. The last page offered a Bible for just one dollar, so I put a dollar in an envelope and mailed it off, saying to God​—I had never prayed in my life—​“God, that’s all I can do, you will have to do the rest.” I mailed it, got stoned, and discounted everything that had just moved me so deeply.

The Bible came in the mail, but I just put it aside. Soon thereafter, two Witnesses came and offered to study the Bible with me, and I agreed. The studies were enjoyable but not progressive because I mostly tried to impress them with my knowledge of philosophy. Additionally, I would use drugs as soon as they left, and this would cancel any progress I had made that day.

Finally, after a year, one of the Witnesses, Jim, came and asked me to read Ezekiel 33:9. I did so, reading: “As regards you, in case you actually warn someone wicked from his way for him to turn back from it but he actually does not turn back from his way, he himself will die in his own error, whereas you yourself will certainly deliver your own soul.” He then asked me what I thought it meant. I answered: “It means you aren’t coming back and I am going to die.” He said, “That’s right,” and he left.

The Witness Returns

I am glad to say I discovered I still had a conscience​—I had believed I had long before killed mine. Since I did feel some longing for the future I had seen in the Bible, I decided to try to get off drugs. For weeks I tried unsuccessfully by myself. One evening my wife suggested I call “that friend,” referring to the Witness, Jim. I told her he had said he would not be back, and I did not know his telephone number. I felt utterly hopeless.

The very next day, we found a Watchtower stuck in our front door with Jim’s telephone number written on it. His wife had left it for “no particular reason.” I called him and confessed my alcohol and drug problem and asked if he could help me. He told me that if I kept off drugs, he would come and study with me every day.

This started a period of intense study that consumed all my days and nights. Not only did he study with me daily but he supplied me with Bible study books and Watchtower articles. I slept only four hours a night​—a common problem for alcoholics—​and all the rest of my time was devoted to Bible study. With the drugs gone, all I had learned for the past year, plus all I was learning by studying from 18 to 20 hours each day, was sounded down at once.

Additionally, I started attending all the Witnesses’ meetings. Within just a few weeks, I had progressed to the point of the first real prayer of my life, which was also my dedication prayer. I started going from door to door and preaching to everyone I knew. Seven studies were started, and five of these progressed to baptism, including my wife and son. I was baptized at a circuit assembly on May 23, 1976, just three months after I made the call to “that friend.” I started pioneering (preaching full-​time) and continued for 13 years.

This brings me back to where I started this story​—50 years old, sitting at home alone, and crying over a book. Self-​help books were very popular during the ’80’s, and I read one of them. Frankly, the self-​help part did not help me. I did not feel inclined to follow the worldly thinking it offered. But the book did make me see for the first time how the scarred years of my childhood and the starved emotional needs for love had left me emotionally crippled. The tears that came were both tears of joy because I could now understand why I was always so lacking in the ability to feel emotionally, and also tears of grief over the huge loss I had suffered for 50 years as an emotional human being unable to respond emotionally. It explained the many bouts of depression I had suffered throughout my life.

Gradually, emotional feelings came over me when I read in the Bible of Jehovah and his love, even for me, which I had never felt personally before. Love for my wife and my son, for my brothers and sisters in the congregations of God, and also for persons I preach the good news of God’s Kingdom to, that they too may have the opportunity to live forever in Jehovah’s promised new world of righteousness here on earth.

Created to Love and to Be Loved

We were created to love and to be loved. When a child is born, it needs this love, and it needs to be accepted. When a child does not receive love and acceptance from his parents, he feels unlovable and has no feelings of self-​worth. When I was very small, I craved to be picked up, held, petted. I can remember even now that when visitors came in the house, they would look at me in my playpen, and I would hope that they were going to pick me up. They never did, and I would start crying because no one ever picked me up.

Such childhood scars had left me crippled in my husbandly role and as a family head and had left me unable to believe that Jehovah, the heavenly Father, could love me. The truth about Jehovah gradually changed me, moved my concept of him from my head to my heart, and now I know Jehovah loves me unreservedly. I also know that there is no way we can earn that love. It is an undeserved kindness from Jehovah God, the God of love.

The bottom line of all this is that because of Jehovah’s blessings, my wife and I now have a good life. We are currently serving where the need for Kingdom preachers is greater, with a small loving congregation in a picturesque little town in the mountains of Arizona. I serve as the congregation’s presiding overseer, conduct a congregation book study, and it is also my great joy to conduct the Theocratic Ministry School. I have a small window-​washing business that supplements my pension so that we have all we need materially and enough time for our ministry and the rest of our service to our loving heavenly Father.

Looking back to where I was that morning my wife threw that “NO JW’S” sign at me, I am filled with gratitude to my heavenly Father for what he has done for me. From an addict unable to hold a job and with only the hope of seeing everyone else killed with me, I am now a member of Jehovah’s visible organization on earth and committed to making known to as many as possible the good news of God’s Kingdom, the only hope for the world. Jehovah has also filled my life with people who give me what I have always wanted: love, trust, and acceptance.

And I am no longer trying to be a “rock” that feels no pain or an “island” that never cries.​—As told by Larry Rubin.

[Picture on page 23]

Larry Rubin and his wife, Donna

Spiritual Light for the “Dark Continent”?

Missionaries Agents of Light or of Darkness?​—Part 4

Spiritual Light for the “Dark Continent”?

“LESS than 100 years ago, Africa was called the Dark Continent because much of it was unknown to Europeans.” What The World Book Encyclopedia here refers to was not African darkness but, rather, European darkness​—Europe’s lack of knowledge about a largely unexplored continent. So it is no contradiction that Africa possibly derives its name from the Latin word aprica, which means “sunny.”

Still, in one aspect, Africa was in darkness​—in darkness as to Bible truth. Donald Coggan, former Archbishop of Canterbury, calls Africa and Asia “the two great continents into which the Churches of the West have poured their resources of manpower and money for the best part of two hundred years.”

Many of Christendom’s missionaries were no doubt sincere. In pursuit of their work, some even sacrificed their lives. Their effect upon African life was profound. But did they, as Christ had done, “shed light . . . through the good news,” thereby ridding the so-​called Dark Continent of its spiritual darkness?​—2 Timothy 1:10.

Native Missionaries Shed First Glimmers of Light

The first Christian on record to preach in Africa was himself an African, the Ethiopian eunuch mentioned in the Bible at Acts chapter 8. A Jewish proselyte, he was on his way home from worshiping at the temple in Jerusalem when Philip converted him to Christianity. Without doubt, in keeping with the zeal of early Christians, this Ethiopian afterward actively preached the good news he had heard, becoming a missionary in his own land.

Historians fail to agree, however, on whether or not this was the way Christianity became established in Ethiopia. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church appears to date back to the fourth century, when a Syrian student of philosophy named Frumentius was ordained as a bishop to Ethiopian “Christians” by Athanasius, a bishop of the Coptic Church of Alexandria.

The Coptic Church​—Copt is derived from the Greek word for “Egyptian”—​claims that its founder and first patriarch was Mark the Evangelist. According to tradition, he preached in Egypt just before the middle of the first century. At any rate, “Christianity” spread to North Africa at an early date, with men like Origen and Augustine rising to prominence. A catechetical school in Alexandria, Egypt, became a noted center of “Christian” scholarship with Pantaenus as its first president. But by the time of Pantaenus’ successor, Clement of Alexandria, apostasy had evidently already taken its toll. The Encyclopedia of Religion reveals that Clement “advocated the reconciliation of Christian doctrine and the Bible with Greek philosophy.”

The Coptic Church carried on an intensive missionary campaign, particularly in eastern Libya. Archaeological excavations in Nubia and lower Sudan also reveal Coptic influence.

European Missionaries Arrive

Europeans did little missionary work in Africa before the 16th to 18th centuries, at which time the Catholics achieved a measure of success. Protestant religions did not arrive until early in the 19th century, when Sierra Leone became the first West African country their missionaries reached. Although the Protestants tried hard to catch up, today, with few exceptions, every African country boasting a large “Christian” population has more Catholics than Protestants.

…