Awake!, February 22, 1992

Awake! — February 22, 1992

Source: jw.org

Contents

Page Two

Who Teaches Them About Sex?

When to Start and How Much to Say

Vital to Start Early

Those Turbulent Teens

Helping Those With Eating Disorders

Part 4—The Industrial Revolution—What Has It Led To?

A Long Way From Home, I Promised to Serve God

Kolmanskop—Where Sand and Rust Consume

How Can I Cope With Poverty?

Watching the World

From Our Readers

A Momentous Week

Rejoicing in the Soviet Union

Page Two

Sex Education—Who Should Give It? 3-11

Children are bombarded with sex today. But what they learn is often wrong and can do them great harm. How can parents properly teach their children about sex? When should they start? You will find the following articles helpful.

Helping Those With Eating Disorders 12

Eating disorders afflict millions. What if it is someone in your household or a friend? There are effective steps you can take to help.

The Industrial Revolution—What Has It Led To? 16

It has led to many modern comforts and material advantages. Yet there are darker sides. Learn how it contributed to slavery and even terrible wars.

[Picture Credit Line on page 2]

The Old Print Shop/Kenneth M. Newman

Who Teaches Them About Sex?

WHAT joy a new baby brings! Parents rejoice over it, play with it, and tell their friends almost everything it does. But soon they begin to realize that it also brings them major new responsibilities. Not the least of these is the need to teach it to protect itself in an increasingly immoral world.

How can parents help a beloved little one grow into a mature adult who will enjoy a warm and happy family life and perhaps rear God-fearing children of its own? Some parents may view this as an almost overwhelming task, so some suggestions will no doubt be appreciated.

You probably teach your children much the way your parents taught you. But many parents were taught little, if anything, about sex. Even if you were taught well, the world has changed, and so have the needs of children. In addition, many readers of this magazine have adopted higher standards and a better way of life. Thus, you should ask yourself: ‘Has the way that I teach my children kept up with my current views and the growing needs of my children?’

Some parents allow their young ones to pick up such information for themselves. But doing that raises the frightening questions: What will they learn? When? From whom, and under what circumstances?

What the Schools Teach

Many parents say: “Oh, they will learn that in school.” Many schools do teach about sex, but few of them teach about morals. Former U.S. Secretary of Education William J. Bennett said in 1987 that schools display “a conscious aversion to making moral distinctions.”

Tom, the father of two lovely daughters, asked their school’s representative: “Why don’t you just say that sex outside of marriage is wrong?” She said that she would like to say that but that the school cannot offend children’s unmarried mothers and their live-in boyfriends. Thus, schools will tell students that they have choices but will rarely say which choice is right.

‘I’ll Buy a Book’

Other parents may say: “I’ll buy them a book.” Perhaps a good book might help, but you should very carefully make sure that you agree with what it says. Few books on this subject deal with morals or even mention right and wrong. Some actually recommend immoral practices. And it is a rare book indeed that says that sexual activity should be limited to marriage.

Thus, the responsibility for teaching morals to children falls right back where God put it in the first place—on their loving parents. The Bible told fathers: “Inculcate [God’s laws] in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”—Deuteronomy 6:7.

Actually, parents can be the best teachers of their children. No book or school can ever replace the power of their conviction or of a sound family example. As William Bennett put it: “Studies show that when parents are the main source of sex education, children are less likely to engage in sex. . . . Parents, more than anyone else, make the difference.”

Some parents, however, are afraid that knowledge may lead to experimentation. This obviously depends to a great degree on what is taught and how it is taught. The reality is that young people are going to learn about sex. Is it not far better for them to learn in a correct and dignified manner from moral and loving parents than from someone in the street or the schoolyard or from dirty-minded adults?

But the question remains: How can you teach these things in a godly and respectful way? When young people hear that “everybody’s doing it,” how can you convince them that the best and happiest people are not? How can you help them realize that living by the Bible’s rule to “abstain from fornication” not only leads to the best and happiest lives but is also the only way that pleases God? The following articles will suggest valuable answers to these important questions.—1 Thessalonians 4:3.

[Blurb on page 3]

“The values parents instill in their children still seem to be what count most.”—U.S.News & World Report

When to Start and How Much to Say

MANY conscientious parents seem to think that sex education can be handled during an embarrassing ‘birds and bees’ talk on a ten-minute walk in the woods with their 13-year-old. But all too often this proves to be not only far too little but years too late. It is not unusual for a loving parent to comment: “Almost everything I tried to tell them, it seemed they already knew.”

Is there a better way to teach these important matters? If so, when should parents start, and what can they do and say?

Wisely, almost from the baby’s birth, you should begin laying the foundation for imparting this vital instruction. If you start when the child is young, you can provide information calmly, in small digestible bites that are in keeping with your child’s ability to benefit.

As parents bathe their little ones, they may teach them their body parts: “This is your chest . . . your stomach . . . your knee.” Why skip from the stomach to the knee? Is what is in between shameful? Or is it merely private? Of course, we would not use disrespectful street words for these private parts. But why not simply say “penis” or “vulva”? These too are part of the creation that God called “very good.”—Genesis 1:31; 1 Corinthians 12:21-24.

Later, perhaps when the child sees a diaper being changed, you could respectfully say that boys have a penis and girls a vulva. You can explain gently that these things are personal. They are to be talked about only in the family, not with other children or with people outside the family.

Thus, you can explain many things before these might become embarrassing, starting early and moving progressively as the child’s ability to comprehend grows.

Explaining Birth

When three to five years of age,a a child may begin to wonder about birth and may ask: “Where do babies come from?” You could simply answer: “You grew in a warm, safe place inside mommy.” This will probably satisfy for the time being. Later the child may ask: “How does the baby get out?” You could answer: “God made a special opening for the baby to come out.” The attention span of young children is short, so the best answers are simple and direct. Provide the needed information a little at a time, saving more for later.

If parents are alert, they can find many opportunities to teach. If a close relative is expecting a baby, a mother could say: “Aunt Susan will probably be having her baby soon—I was about that size a few weeks before you were born.” The expected birth of a little brother or sister can provide months of exciting and delightful education.

Later the child may wonder: “How did the baby start?” A simple answer is: “A seed from the father meets an egg cell in the mother and a baby starts to grow, just as a seed in the ground will grow into a flower or a tree.” Another time the child may ask: “How does the daddy’s seed get into the mommy?” You could say, respectfully: “You know how a boy is made. He has a penis. A mother has an opening in her body that the penis fits into, and the seed is planted. God made us this way so that babies could grow in a nice, warm place until they are big enough to live on their own. Then a lovely new baby is born!” You can speak in a spirit of wonder at the marvelous way God arranged these things.b

You should be careful never to put questions off with an embarrassed: “I’ll tell you later when you are old enough.” This could heighten children’s curiosity and might even prompt them to seek information from inappropriate sources elsewhere. A child that is old enough to ask the question is old enough to get a simple and respectful answer. Failure to provide one may discourage your children from any longer looking to you for information.

How Soon?

Many parents feel that their children should have a basic understanding of these things at least before they start school, where they may hear much less accurate information from other children.

A grandfather explained: “I had asked no questions, but when I was six years old, my father decided that it was time to explain where babies came from. He said that the sexual union of a man and a woman that might produce a baby was just as natural as eating, but God said that this was only for people who were married. Thus, there would be both a mother and a father to love the child and take care of it.” This grandfather added: “The explanation he gave was just in time. I had already seen six-year-olds laughing about immoral pictures they drew that I did not understand.”

Of course, such explanations should be presented, not as something shameful, but as something private. You can repeat that it is a family secret that should not be mentioned to other children or to people outside the family. If your child slips in this regard, you can gently say: “Shhh! Remember, that is our secret. We talk about it only in the family.”

Not Shocking

If the need for this discussion shocks any reader, just think about how many conscientious young parents are searching for a respectful way to explain these matters to their children. Are not straightforward explanations in a loving home far better than the way many parents first learned these things, from sordid sources outside the family?

If you really listen and if you answer questions in a simple and respectful manner, you will make it far easier for your children to come to you with other questions as the years go by and their need for information grows.

[Footnotes]

Each child is different. Thus, any reference to age in these articles is intended only in a general way, to show the progressive nature of this teaching.

The book Making Your Family Life Happy discusses this and many other aspects of moral child-rearing and family life. You may request it from the people who brought you this magazine or from its publishers at the addresses found on page 5.

[Picture on page 6]

An approaching birth provides opportunity for valuable instruction

Vital to Start Early

YOUNG children have the right to a reasonably thorough explanation of how their bodies work and how to protect themselves from immoral people. But when should the instruction start? Earlier than many realize.

Adolescence begins at puberty, the age at which signs of sexual maturing begin to appear. A girl might first menstruate at the age of 10 or even earlier or as late as 16 or later. A boy might have his first nocturnal emission as early as 11 or 12. Will your children be prepared before that time, say by the age of nine?a Will they also know by that young age the importance of preserving their virginity?

Acquaint Them With Bodily Changes

Your daughter has the right to know the God-given changes that will occur in her body. A mother might mention her period and let her daughter see what kind of protection she uses. She should explain that these changes are normal body processes. In a very positive way, a mother can explain that her daughter’s body will be preparing itself for the time, years from now, when she may marry and become a mother herself. A mother can explain to her daughter that the body prepares for the baby in the womb a special soft, spongy lining that is rich in blood vessels. When a baby is not conceived, the lining will be cast off and pass through the vagina, and this process is called menstruation.

Similarly, your son should know in advance about nocturnal emissions, or wet dreams. (Deuteronomy 23:10, 11) He should understand that the emission of a slippery liquid, at times when he is dreaming, is merely the body’s way of disposing of accumulated semen. Both your sons and your daughters should know that there is nothing wrong with these changes in their bodies. Their bodies are merely being prepared for possible future marriage and parenthood.b

As parents, you should take these matters seriously, for they are divine matters. And you are the teachers that God has appointed.

What Is Safe Sex?

As the years rush by and your youngsters enter their teens, you must make sure that they know that sex between unmarried people is dangerous, regardless of what they may hear to the contrary. Sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS, have become a worldwide plague. Such diseases may cause infertility, birth defects, cancer, and even death. Moreover, they may be transmitted by people who are not even aware that they are infected.

Your children should realize that no method of contraception has proved altogether effective either in preventing pregnancy or in stopping the transmission of disease. In fact, a surprisingly great number of youngsters who employ various forms of contraception become pregnant. And even though condoms are touted as a defense against contracting AIDS from an infected sex partner, The New England Journal of Medicine reported that condoms fail to prevent the transmission of the AIDS virus as often as 17 percent of the time.

Thus, New York Post columnist Ray Kerrison refuted the claim that condoms ‘reduce to a minimum the risk of contracting AIDS’ by writing: “Some minimum. If you put a bullet in a gun, spin the chamber and play Russian roulette, you have a one-in-six chance of killing yourself. With a condom, you have almost a one-in-five chance of getting AIDS. We are now able to give the condom-AIDS hoax its real name. It is sexual roulette.”

Your children should know that the solution to the problem of sexually transmitted diseases is simple. It is to accept God’s arrangement for the use of the divine gift of procreation. Indeed, the safe use of your sexuality is within marriage, ideally in a lifelong union with one beloved person who also has had no other sexual partner.

God’s Instructions a Protection

The Bible says: “A man . . . must stick to his wife.” “You must not commit adultery.” “Let fornication . . . not even be mentioned among you.” “No fornicator . . . has any inheritance in the kingdom of the Christ and of God.”—Genesis 2:24; Matthew 5:27; Ephesians 5:3, 5.

These instructions are not oppressive. Rather, following them will lead to a happy, close-knit family. The unborn child will be provided something to which it has a right—two parents, a mother and a father. Each has different qualities, and each can contribute to the child’s life things that the other does not have.

As parents, both by your teaching and by your example, you must implant Bible-based principles firmly in your child’s heart and mind. You must build with solid materials—fire-resistant ones. As the Bible says: “Each one’s work will become manifest, for the day will show it up, because it will be revealed by means of fire; and the fire itself will prove what sort of work each one’s is.” If you build solidly and your work stands, you will be richly rewarded.—1 Corinthians 3:13.

But the important question remains: How can you reinforce this training as your children move through their teenage years and toward adulthood?

[Footnotes]

Dr. Leon Rosenberg of Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A., said: “By the time a child is 9, parents should have been able to sit down and have a full detailed discussion about the details of sex and morality. The more information kids can get from their parents, the better.”

More information can be found in the chapters “Growing Into Manhood” and “Moving Into Womanhood” in Your Youth—Getting the Best Out Of It, a book available through the publishers of this magazine.

[Picture on page 8]

Preparing your child for bodily changes is important

Those Turbulent Teens

TEENAGERS are surrounded by erotic messages. Sex sells anything from shoes to jeans. Modern music is filled with sexual overtones. On television glamorous adults go from one sexual encounter to another. But is this proper?

A major American newspaper said that the “massive infusion of sexual content” in prime-time TV is a “disturbing and profoundly irresponsible programming trend.” The Journal of the American Medical Association called it the “exploitation of adolescents by the entertainment and advertising media.”

You must make sure that your children know that not everyone lives that way. Even if, as is claimed, half of America’s 17-year-old girls have already had sex, that still means that the other half have not. As former U.S. Secretary of Education William J. Bennett said: “Not ‘everybody’ is doing it, and we might wish to give those youngsters—half of our seventeen-year-olds—support and reinforcement, too.”

He pointed out that in a survey taken at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.A., 9 out of 10 girls under the age of 16 “wanted to learn how to say ‘no.’” Can you help your children become convinced that, not just a weak and uncertain reaction, but a positive and unequivocal no is the only right response to any immoral suggestion? Can you help them realize that people who are worthwhile will respect them for this? As a teenager named Emily told a California, U.S.A., newspaper: “The people that are most respected don’t have sex.”

You should help your young ones realize that sex is a powerful force—so powerful that it has produced the entire human race. This does not mean, however, that it cannot be controlled. Rather, it means that like a high-powered sports car, it must be used properly, according to the rules of the road. Ignoring the rules on a winding mountain road can lead to disaster. Ignoring the God-given rules of sexual behavior will have similar results. How can you help your children, whom you love so much, to recognize this fact?

Teach Them That Chastity Has Value

Discuss with your teenager the fine Bible example of the beautiful young Shulammite maiden. She could proudly say: “I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers.” Morally she was like the unscalable wall of a fortress with inaccessible towers. And in the eyes of her prospective husband, she was like one “that is finding peace.” Yes, peace of mind undisturbed by the agony of regret is a rich benefit of chastity.—Song of Solomon 8:10.

But how can a youth remain morally firm, like a wall? Before such matters ever come up, you must be sure that your maturing youngster knows the need for taking precautions by avoiding circumstances that can, and often do, lead to immorality. For example, they should know that just as drunk driving can lead to disaster, so disaster can be courted at a teenage party where others have brought alcohol or where no responsible adult is present.

Likewise, help them to appreciate that being alone in a house (or an apartment) with another young person of the opposite sex is opening the door to temptation. Youths need to see clearly the moral danger of allowing anyone to whom they are not married to put his or her hand on their private parts, including the breasts. Explain to them that seduction often starts with the sexually stimulating touching of such body parts.—Compare 1 Corinthians 7:1.

You must help your beloved children to realize that genuine love means infinitely more than sex and that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Some youths engage in sex before making the commitment of marriage. They may have sex with a number of partners without ever getting married. Then, as the years pass and they realize they really need a marriage mate, they find themselves lonely and abandoned. True, no one ever required a commitment of them, but no one ever made a commitment to them either.

Your sons and daughters should know that their virginity is far too precious to be discarded like wastewater. Help your child to see that the full enjoyment of sex can only come within the sacred arrangement of marriage. In beautiful, poetic language, the Bible says: “Drink water out of your own cistern, and tricklings out of the midst of your own well. Should your springs be scattered out of doors, your streams of water in the public squares themselves? Let your water source prove to be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.”—Proverbs 5:15, 16, 18.

As loving parents, you must make a particular effort to teach these facts. This is a special challenge today, for pregnancies among those who are not married are commonly accepted. Lillian, an obstetric nurse, says that she is no longer surprised to see terror in the eyes of a 15-year-old unwed father as a proud grandparent thrusts into his arms the newborn son that he is neither prepared, willing, nor able to accept.

One television commentator pointed out that many “very young single women with children but no husbands” are often unable to finish school, to work, or to give their children a proper upbringing. These teenage mothers, he said, are “trapped in their own personal tragedies. . . . Poverty is almost inevitable and tends to perpetuate itself in a horrible cycle.”

Your Own Example

Your own behavior will have a strong effect on your children. Sometimes this may be true in more subtle ways than you realize. What happens when a father has a roving eye? Or when a mother says, “What a hunk!” as an eye-pleasing man walks by? Are such parents encouraging their teenagers to be chaste? If physical features are what you particularly admire, should you be surprised if your children place fleshly attributes ahead of morals, kindness, true love, or the person’s dedication to God?

Teaching your young ones what they need to know about sex therefore encompasses far more than you may have thought. It includes your attitude, the spirit you create in the home, your willingness to teach your youngsters early, as well as the example you set. Obviously, all of this requires time and effort, but the reward is great!

You Still Haven’t Taught Them?

But what if your children are nearly grown, and you still haven’t discussed these things with them? You could simply say: “I really made a mistake in waiting so long to talk to you about these things, but I so want you to have the best life possible that I just have to try now.”

Indeed, it is better to discuss these matters with your children when they are older than never at all. Moral instruction of your young ones is a vital responsibility and a privilege. Ron Moglia of New York University said: “Any parent who relinquishes the right to talk to his child about sex is giving up one of the most wonderful experiences he can have.”

If you have recently come to appreciate God’s moral requirements and your children know that you have not lived by them in the past, be sure they understand why you have now changed. You might suggest that they read this magazine and then arrange to discuss the information. You should never be put off by the young person who says: “Oh, I know all that!” Neither schoolyard myths nor peer-group stories nor even experience with the mechanics of sex is a substitute for sound moral guidance. The truth is that ignorance can lead to disaster.

Training your children may require a major effort, but the reward can be magnificent! As the Bible states, simply and clearly: “The righteous is walking in his integrity. Happy are his sons after him.”—Proverbs 20:7.

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What does television teach about sex?

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Ignoring the rules of driving often leads to serious problems, and so does ignoring the rules of godly behavior

Helping Those With Eating Disorders

MILLIONS of families worldwide have had to contend with a member who has an eating disorder. Bulimia (food binge and purge), anorexia nervosa (prolonged inability or refusal to eat), and compulsive overeating (uncontrollable eating) have become epidemic in some areas.

These disorders are predominantly a problem of women. They affect females of practically all ages, both single and married. Preteens and teens, as well as older women, including grandmothers, are among the sufferers.a Since over 90 percent of those affected are females, we will use feminine pronouns when addressing those with the problem.

If someone you care about has an eating disorder, no doubt you want to help her. But simply asking a bulimic to stop food binges and purging is like telling a person with pneumonia to stop coughing. Before you can really help one with an eating disorder, you need to identify and address the profound emotional disturbances that are often at the root of the problem. Thus, skill—not merely good intentions—is vital. Sometimes the underlying problem stems from past sexual abuse. When it does, the sufferer will usually need special assistance from a capable counselor.b

Address the Problem

Finding out that your child, mate, or friend has an eating problem is not always easy. This is because those with eating disorders may be secretive. (See the accompanying box.) Yet, an eating disorder will not generally go away on its own. The sooner the sufferer is spoken to and given help, the better are the chances of recovery.

However, before speaking to a suspected sufferer, plan carefully what to say and also the best time to say it. The time should be when you are calm and there will not likely be an interruption. The wrong approach—such as making sweeping threats—will hinder communication and may make things worse.

When you talk with someone that you suspect has an eating disorder, do not be judgmental, be specific. For instance, you could say, ‘You have lost a lot of weight. Your clothes look big on you. Is there some reason why?’ Or, ‘I heard you vomiting in the bathroom. I know that this is embarrassing, but I want to help. Can we be frank with each other?’ Even if the person responds with anger and denial, a calm approach may persuade her to discuss the matter. (Proverbs 16:21) Achieving an open discussion is a realistic goal for your first conversation.

Eating disorders often develop when family members are excessively conscious of body size and when children are praised mainly for their appearance or accomplishments. Therefore, in a family where a member has an eating disorder, others in the family may have to reassess their attitudes and priorities. The solution to a sufferer’s problem may well require changes by family members. Indeed, their efforts are often one of the most important factors in a sufferer’s recovery.

Avoid Power Struggles

In one family exasperated parents literally tried to stuff food into an anorexic’s mouth, but the girl resisted and felt pleased with herself that she could resist her parents’ efforts. So recognize that you cannot force another person to eat or to stop going on food binges. The more you try to force the sufferer, the more stubborn the battle may become.

“Things got worse every time I made an issue of her eating,” admitted Joe, whose daughter Lee almost died from anorexia. “I had to back off totally from talking about eating matters.” His wife, Ann, explained what did benefit their daughter: “We helped her to feel that she could be in control of herself without having to resort to such extremes. This saved her life.” Wisely, deemphasize the whole issue of eating. Help the sufferer to see that when she eats, she does so for herself and not for you.

Help Build Confidence

Most people with eating disorders are perfectionists. Many have had little experience with failure. Their parents—with the best of intentions—have at times contributed to the problem. How? By being overly protective, trying to shield their child from any adversity.

So a parent needs to help a child realize that her mistakes are a part of life and do not determine her self-worth. “The righteous one may fall even seven times,” says Proverbs 24:16, “and he [or, she] will certainly get up.” A child will not be crushed by adversity if she is taught that defeats are normal, transient, and can be overcome.

A parent must also accept and appreciate the uniqueness of each child. While a Christian parent endeavors to train a child in the “mental-regulating of Jehovah,” he should still allow the child to be an individual. (Ephesians 6:4) Don’t try to fit a child into a mold created in your mind. To overcome an eating disorder, a child must feel that her individuality is respected and cherished.

Develop Open Communication

In many families where a child or a mate has an eating disorder, poor communication exists. Those with a disorder usually have difficulty voicing their real feelings when these differ from a parent’s or a mate’s. This is especially so in a home where the rule has been, ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.’ So the sufferer resorts to food to block out inner frustration.

For instance, Matthew was unable to help his wife overcome her compulsive overeating. “Whenever she’s upset she cries and then goes and eats,” he lamented. “She never . . . really tells me what’s disturbing her.” A counselor suggested that the two of them set aside an hour a week to talk in private and that they take turns expressing any complaints without the other interrupting. “It was an eye-opener,” said Matthew. “I had no idea Monica was so unhappy about so many things and that I could be so defensive. I thought I was a good listener but I really wasn’t.”

Thus, to help your mate or your child, be willing to listen to her negative feelings and dissatisfactions. According to the Scriptures, listening to “the complaining cry of the lowly one” is proper. (Proverbs 21:13) Joe and Ann had to learn this lesson.

“I had to stop jumping to conclusions and showing my irritation when Lee had a different viewpoint,” confided Joe regarding his anorexic daughter. His wife, Ann, said: “Listen to what the child wants to say. Don’t try to put your words in her mouth. Listen to how she really feels about things.”

Ann illustrated the matter: “Previously, when Lee complained that someone had hurt her feelings, I would tell her that the person didn’t really mean to do it. But she would get even more upset. Now when she complains, I say, ‘I know that must have hurt. I can see why it would make you feel really bad.’ I try to empathize rather than change her viewpoint right then.” So really listen, and do not assume that you already know another’s intentions or feelings.

When there is open communication, one can find comfort during emotional storms and does not feel compelled to resort to unhealthy eating practices. Dawn explained why she has never returned to her compulsive overeating and bulimia: “When I’m upset, I can always talk to my husband because he is so understanding and comforting.”

Show Self-Sacrificing Love

A grieving father whose bulimic daughter died from heart failure gave this advice: “Love your children even more than you think is enough.” Yes, be generous with expressions of love. Help your child and your spouse to sense that your love for them does not depend on their looks or achievements. But loving someone caught in the vise of an eating disorder is not easy. This is why the key is self-sacrificing love, which the Bible describes as being kind, patient, and forgiving. It is a willingness to put another’s interests ahead of your own.—1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

When one couple learned that their daughter was bulimic, they were baffled as to what to do. “I felt that if you are not quite sure what to do, do the kind thing,” the father noted. “I realized she was a precious girl who had a very serious personal problem. The kind thing was to give her reassurance and emotional support.”

He asked his daughter: “Do you mind if your mother and I regularly ask you how you are making out with the problem?” She expressed appreciation for this kindly concern, and so the parents would inquire from time to time.

“There were times when she would go a few days, then a few weeks, then a few months before she would have a relapse,” the father explained. “But when she admitted that she had slipped up again, we tried to encourage her and not to appear disappointed.” The mother added: “We did a lot of talking. I told her that she was obviously making progress. I said, ‘Just don’t give up. You went two weeks this time. Let’s see how far you can go now.’”

“One of the reasons we failed to note our daughter’s bizarre eating habits was that we rarely ate supper together,” the father observed. “So I changed my work schedule to be home with the family for supper.” Making that adjustment to eat together, along with providing patient and loving attention, helped their daughter to recover fully.

While striving to do what is best for the sufferer, it is important to provide needed discipline, which is a manifestation of love. (Proverbs 13:24) Do not shield the sufferer from the consequences of her actions. Making her use her own money to replace the food used during a binge, or requiring her to clean up the mess in a bathroom from self-induced vomiting, can teach her that she is responsible for her behavior. By insisting that she live by reasonable household rules, you convey your confidence that she is capable of managing her life properly. This can bolster the self-esteem commonly lacking among those with eating disorders.

Because of inner turmoil, a sufferer may speak in anger. If she does, endeavor to look beyond the outburst. Try to find and deal with the source of the “vexation.” (Job 6:2, 3) It was a special challenge for Joe and Ann when their anorexic daughter became rebellious and verbally abusive.

“We kept trying to show her love instead of just throwing her out on the street,” said Ann. Her husband added: “We kept searching for help for her and told her how much we cared for her.” The result? She finally realized that her parents must love her very much, and she began to open up to them.

When the sufferer is a child, the strain on parents, especially the mother, is intense. Husbands, therefore, must give their wives vital emotional support. Do not sacrifice your marriage for your child’s illness. Accept your limitations.

In some cases, you may need to seek help outside the family. Evaluate all the factors involved, and determine what kind of help would be best. It will take firmness if the sufferer is reluctant. Let her know that you will act to protect her life if necessary, but avoid saying things that you can’t carry out.

There will be times when you feel powerless and the situation seems hopeless, but never forget to lay such problems in prayer before the God of love. He can help! “We realized that it was beyond our ability to handle,” confided Joe. “The main thing we learned was to put our trust totally in Jehovah God. He never failed us.”

[Footnotes]

See “Who Develop Eating Disorders?” in our December 22, 1990, issue.

See “Help for the Victims of Incest” in the October 1, 1983, issue of our companion journal The Watchtower.

[Box on page 13]

SOME SIGNS OF EATING DISORDERS

▪ Restricted eating, such as by severe diet or fasting

▪ Extreme weight loss or weight fluctuation

▪ Odd food rituals, such as cutting food into tiny pieces

▪ Intense fear of becoming fat, regardless of low weight

▪ Preoccupation with and constant talk about food and/or weight, often coupled with harsh exercise routine

▪ Cessation of menstruation

▪ Withdrawal from others, signs of secrecy, especially spending a long time in bathroom

▪ Emotional changes, such as depression and irritability

▪ Overeating when angry, nervous, or excited

▪ Abuse of diuretics, diet pills, or purgatives, such as laxatives

[Picture on page 15]

Empathetic listening is vital

Part 4—The Industrial Revolution—What Has It Led To?

The Rise and Fall of World Commerce

Part 4—The Industrial Revolution—What Has It Led To?

THE industrial revolution began in the 18th century and changed the world as few things had done before. Technical know-how, sufficient capital, the availability of raw materials, the possibility of transporting them and finished products cheaply—these and other prerequisites for industrial advancement now converged in England. This set off an unprecedented and rapid increase in the production of goods.

Preparing the way, however, were events that had taken place earlier. Coal, readily available in Britain, was introduced as fuel. Also, while Continental Europe was being torn by religious wars, England enjoyed relative peace. The country had a superior banking system. Even its break with the Roman Catholic Church was significant, since Protestantism stressed immediate economic well-being, attempting to create, as it were, a heaven on earth.

Beginning in the 1740’s, Britain’s population soared. Industry had to find new methods of meeting increased demand. The wave of the future was obviously more and better machines. As the banking system provided funds for setting up new businesses, crowds of workers swarmed into machine-filled factories. Trade unions, previously banned, were legalized. British workers, less restricted by guild regulations than were workers in Continental Europe, were paid for piecework. This gave them an added incentive for finding better ways of producing goods faster.

Britain also had well-trained manpower. Professor Shepard B. Clough says that “the universities of Glasgow and Edinburgh had no peers in matters of scientific inquiry and experimentation in the late eighteenth century.” Thus, with Britain taking the lead, the industrial revolution spread throughout Europe and the United States. In developing nations it continues to this day.

The Darker Sides

Because of these developments, says The Columbia History of the World, “striking prosperity came to English towns, reflected in improved standards of living, a flourishing provincial culture, and a growing pride and confidence.” Britain even “attained a position of military, especially naval, dominance that in turn gave it great ‘diplomatic’ power.” Mastery of certain industrial processes gave the country economic leverage over competitors. Its industrial secrets were so valuable that laws were enacted to prevent them from becoming common knowledge.

For example, when Samuel Slater left Britain in 1789, he hid his identity because textile workers were not allowed to emigrate. He circumvented the laws banning the export of textile-manufacturing plans by committing to memory the entire layout of a British mill. This enabled him to build the first cotton-yarn factory ever constructed in the United States.

The policy of protecting trade secrets still exists. Time magazine comments that “companies and countries pursue corporate secrets like sharks in a frenzy at feeding time.” Stealing someone else’s know-how can save years of research and untold expenses. So “whether the product is medicine or muffins, companies are more preoccupied than ever before with finding ways of protecting their trade secrets.” A recruiter in the electronics industry admits: “There’s a lot of greed out there. If you can get into the right situation, you’re an instant millionaire.”

The textile industry serves to illustrate another dark side of economic progress. When new weaving methods made possible the production of cotton goods by machine, the demand for raw cotton increased. But so much time was needed to process it by hand that supply could not keep up with demand. Then, in 1793, Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin. Within 20 years the U.S. cotton crop had expanded to 57 times what it had been! But as Professor Clough points out, Whitney’s invention was also responsible “for the extension of the plantation system and of Negro slavery.” So although useful, Clough explains, the cotton gin “contributed much to the tensions which developed between the Northern and Southern states, which led finally to the War between the States.”

The industrial revolution helped create a system of large factories in the hands of the wealthy. Only the rich could afford expensive machines, whose size and weight demanded that they be installed in permanent, well-constructed buildings. These were built where energy was readily available and where raw materials could be delivered at low cost. So businesses tended to concentrate in huge industrial centers.

Economical use of the energy—initially water and later steam—that was needed to run the machines required that several of them be operated at one time. So factories grew in size. And the larger they became, the more impersonal. No longer did employees work for people; they worked for companies.

The larger the business, the greater the problem of financing. Partnerships became more numerous, and joint-stock companies, first developed in the 17th century, came into their own. (See box.) But these helped concentrate power in the hands of a few, since investors, or stockholders, had little control over management. Businessmen who concurrently served as directors of several companies or banks wielded tremendous power. Clough speaks of “interlocking directorates” through which “a small clique could determine the line of credit that businesses would get, could refuse credit to competitors, and could acquire so much power that it could determine the policies of governments and even overthrow regimes which were hostile to it.”—Italics ours.

Thus, the industrial revolution granted the world of commerce additional power. Would it be used in a responsible way?

Free Enterprise or a Controlled Economy?

Capitalism blossomed into full bloom in England. Also known as the free enterprise system or as a market economy, capitalism has produced more than its share of millionaires as well as the highest standards of living in history.

Yet, even the staunchest supporters of capitalism concede that it has weaknesses. For example, economic growth under capitalism is unreliable. Its instability periodically causes economic ups and downs, business booms and business depressions. Fluctuations formerly caused by outside forces such as wars or weather can be created by the economic system itself.

A second weakness is that while producing good commodities, capitalism often produces bad side effects—smoke, toxic wastes, or unhealthy working conditions. The industrial revolution made this all too apparent, contributing to the so-called greenhouse effect with its unwanted consequences.a

A third drawback is that capitalism does not ensure fair distribution of wealth or products. Take, for example, the United States. In 1986 the bottom fifth of its families earned less than 5 percent of the country’s total income, whereas the upper fifth earned almost 45 percent.

As capitalism came of age during the industrial revolution, its weaknesses did not go unnoticed. Men like Karl Marx condemned it, calling for its replacement by a controlled or centrally planned economy. They advocated that the government set production goals, regulate prices, and manage business largely to the exclusion of the individual. Yet today, after decades of trial in the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, this system has lost its appeal. Central planning works best when crash planning is required, such as in fighting wars or in developing space programs. In the everyday bread-and-butter market, it falls seriously short.

Supporters of capitalism will concede, however, as did Adam Smith, upon whose teachings it is heavily based, that government involvement in the economy cannot be entirely ruled out. If problems like inflation and unemployment are to be managed with a measure of success, they must be tackled at the governmental level. Therefore, most nations with a free enterprise system have moved away from pure capitalism to a mixed or modified system.

About this trend 1990 Britannica Book of the Year predicts: “It seems likely . . . [that] economic systems may lose some of the decisive differences that have marked them in the past and come to suggest instead a continuum on which elements of both market and planning coexist in different proportions. Societies along such a continuum may continue to designate themselves as capitalist and socialist, but they are likely to reveal as many common aspects in the solutions to their economic problems as they may still display important differences.”

Contributes to Problems

In 1914, World War I began. When it did, greedy commerce stood ready to provide the guns, tanks, and airplanes that the warring nations needed and that the industrial revolution had made possible.

The Columbia History of the World notes that while “industrialization has helped to solve many of man’s physical problems,” it has also “contributed to social problems of enormous gravity and complexity.”

Today, 78 years after 1914, we have more reasons than ever to agree with these words. Appropriately, the next installment in this series will be “Big Business Tightens Its Grip.”

[Footnotes]

See Awake! of September 8, 1989.

[Box on page 18]

The Stock Market—Start to Finish

By the 17th century, it was common practice to launch new businesses by combining the capital of several investors. Shares of stock were offered at a given price. This joint-stock arrangement has been called one of the most important inventions ever made in business organization. The English attempted several such ventures in the mid-1500’s, but they became widespread following the forming of the English East India Company in 1600.

As the number of joint-stock companies grew, so also did the need for stockbrokers. At first they met with clients at various places, sometimes in coffeehouses. Later, exchanges were founded to provide a set place for dealing in stocks. The London Stock Exchange was founded in 1773. But the world’s oldest may be the one in Amsterdam, which some say opened in 1642, or possibly the one in Antwerp, which others claim dates back to 1531.

Stock companies have such advantages as the following: provide sufficient capital to operate large enterprises; allow the public an opportunity to put even small amounts of capital to work; reduce the amount of loss to any one investor in case of setbacks; permit stockholders to get ready cash by selling all or some of their shares; and allow shares to be passed on as an inheritance.

Unexpected fluctuations in stock prices, however, may mean disaster. Also, as recent Wall Street scandals demonstrate, the market can be illegally manipulated, possibly by means of insider trading, a practice that is on the increase. Individuals use or sell important advance information—perhaps knowledge of a pending merger of two companies—thereby profiting on the movement of those firms’ stocks. A friend of a man accused of this practice in 1989 attributed it to greed. Although there is a move in many countries to ban insider trading, Time magazine commented: “Laws alone will not be sufficient to solve the problem.”

On Jehovah’s fast-approaching day of judgment, the problem will be solved for good. Silver and gold will be worthless, and stocks and bonds worth no more than the paper on which they are printed. Ezekiel 7:19 says: “Into the streets they will throw their very silver, and an abhorrent thing their own gold will become.” Zephaniah 1:18 further says: “Neither their silver nor their gold will be able to deliver them in the day of Jehovah’s fury.”

[Picture on page 17]

The invention of the cotton gin led to the expansion of slave labor

[Credit Line]

The Old Print Shop/Kenneth M. Newman

A Long Way From Home, I Promised to Serve God

THE flying sleet and snow stung our faces. The icy wind had now become a gale. Our truck drivers refused to go any farther. “All out and walk!” The terse command was barked in such a way that none of us dared refuse. So we walked the last two miles [3 km] or so back to our camp in Siberia—miserable, homesick, and cold.

There were about 150 of us—all German prisoners in the custody of 6 Russian guards. The relentless storm was so severe that we had to lean 45 degrees into the wind. Visibility was down to about five men ahead of us. From time to time, the furious head wind would suddenly drop, causing us to fall forward on our faces!

Finally, we arrived at the camp, completely exhausted. It was that night in Siberia, with the temperature 60 degrees below zero Fahrenheit [-50° C], that I promised God that if I ever got back home to Germany, I would find some way to serve him.

Problems in Wartime

I was born in 1928 in Berlin, Germany. When I was about ten, I enrolled in the Hitler Youth movement. Later, Mother wanted me to be confirmed in the church, so she had me attend religious instruction classes. Sadly, just two days before my confirmation, she died. I was very lonely and began to pray often as best I knew how, talking to God about my problems.

World War II was intensifying, and there were air raids on Berlin almost every day and every night. The cruel pattern was for a wave of bombers to fly over and drop incendiary bombs, usually phosphorus. Then, as people—mainly women and children—left their shelters to extinguish the fires, they were caught out in the open and blown to pieces as the next wave of bombers dropped their larger bombs loaded with explosives.

One winter the Royal Air Force dropped time bombs that were preset to explode, not on impact, but at 7:00 p.m. on December 24. They knew that families would be together on that night before Christmas. The question kept going through my mind: ‘Why does God allow such terrible things to happen?’

In 1944, I decided to join the army. However, at my final medical checkup, I was told that I wasn’t yet strong enough for military service and that I should come back in six months. Finally, in March 1945, I was called up for the army, but I decided not to report.

Real Hardships Start

Shortly afterward, in May 1945, World War II ended. Father had been taken as a prisoner of war, and the Soviet army now occupied our section of Berlin. During the following months, we had to work for the occupying forces, packing machinery and other equipment of a chemical factory to send back to Russia. This gave me an opportunity to get to know some Russians. To my surprise I found that they were people just like us, believing that their fight was for freedom and a better world.

On August 9, 1945, about two o’clock in the afternoon, a car stopped in front of our house. Two Russian soldiers and a civilian stepped out and, after learning my name, shoved me into the car. A number of other youths were also picked up that day. All of us were eventually taken to a nearby suburb. Most of us were charged with being members of the Werwolf organization, which none of us had even heard of.

One of the younger lads claimed that I knew the addresses of other youths. I denied this and so was thrown into a dark, wet cellar along with the young informant. Alone in the cellar—cold and very lonely—tears ran down my cheeks as I kneeled and prayed to God. Prayer always seemed to help. In fact, that evening when I was taken out of the cell and allowed back with the rest of the lads, many commented on my cheerful disposition despite what I had just been through.

A week or two later, we marched to the town of Cöpenick, a short distance away. There we were made to sit outside on the hard ground. It started to rain. Eventually the boys were called into the house in groups of five at a time. We heard the screams of those who had preceded us and saw them come out bleeding and holding up their trousers. Their belts had been taken away and the top buttons of their trousers had been ripped off so that they would fall down unless held up by hand. As our group went inside, we knew that something dreadful awaited us.

I did not have a belt but instead wore a pair of suspenders. When the sergeant saw them, he snatched them off my trousers and began to whip me about the face with them. At the same time, two other soldiers kicked and hit me. I was bleeding profusely from the mouth and nose. If other soldiers had not pulled me away, I might have been killed.

We were again put in cellars and were allowed out only to go to the latrine once each morning. We were timed, being permitted just two minutes to relieve ourselves. Any who dared stay longer ran the risk of being pushed into the pit of human excrement. One poor soul drowned when he was pushed in.

My Situation Improves

After four days we were loaded onto trucks and taken to a camp in Hohen-Schönhausen. There were about 60 of us between the ages of 13 and 17, as well as about 2,000 adults. Polish prisoners were assigned to dish out the soup, and they saw to it that we younger ones were always served first.

Then, on September 11, 1945, very early in the morning, we began marching to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp, about 30 miles [50 km] away. Those who died during the march were thrown onto a horse-drawn cart, as were those who were too weak to walk. In the afternoon it started to rain. Finally, late at night, we reached the gates of one of the side camps, soaked, cold, and exhausted. The next day we were marched into the main camp. Two hundred persons were assigned to each barrack.

Not far from Sachsenhausen, there was a big food-storage depot in a town called Velten. There prisoners loaded wheat and other foodstuffs onto trains going to Russia. After working there for a while, I was picked to work as a delivery boy. My assignment was to take results of medical tests from the Russian camp over to the laboratory some distance away. What a pleasant change!

I shared a room with another delivery boy and a Russian male nurse. Each day we were given fresh sheets and as many blankets as we wanted. Our food was much better, and we had the freedom to go wherever we wanted. So the other delivery boy and I began to explore the grounds of what had been the Sachsenhausen concentration camp used by the Nazis.

On the far side of the camp, we visited the gas chambers and the crematory ovens. I could scarcely believe what the Nazis had done. I was shocked. Although I was not being badly treated personally, hundreds of fellow German prisoners were dying each day in the main camp. Their bodies were thrown onto carts and taken away to mass graves in the forest.

One day we discovered a blackboard listing the various types of prisoners that had been in the concentration camp during Hitler’s time. Among those listed were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Little did I know then that one day I would have the privilege of becoming one of Jehovah’s Witnesses myself.

Further Severe Treatment

The improved conditions I was enjoying did not last long. An officer stopped me and demanded to know why I had misappropriated some medical supplies. Although I told him I knew nothing about what he was accusing me of, he did not believe me, and I was put in solitary confinement. In the small cell, I received very little food and no blankets, even though it was winter. Then, suddenly, on the 11th day, I was let out.

As I walked back, I was surprised when the young soldier on duty at the gate to the main camp welcomed me warmly. Previously he had been very cold toward me. But now he put his arm around me and in broken German said that his parents had been killed by the Gestapo and that he had been in German concentration camps. He said that he knew I was innocent.

Soon after this, the fittest of us prisoners were told that we would be sent elsewhere to work. On January 30, 1946, we were loaded onto a train with crude upper and lower shelves. There were 40 prisoners in each car, which meant a very tight squeeze on the shelves. It was difficult to sleep at night, for when one person turned over, all had to turn with him.

There were all sorts of rumors about our destination, but all of them proved to be wrong. At the first stop, 500 more prisoners from another camp joined us. From then on we received daily rations of some dry, hard bread plus a salted herring and a little hot soup. Every other day we were given a small cup of tea. In an effort to quench their thirst, most of the men would lick the icy walls of the train cars. When we arrived at the outskirts of Moscow, we showered and were deloused. I think I drank a whole bucket of water that day.

On to Siberia!

On March 6, 1947, we arrived at Prokopyevsk, Siberia. The civilian population of the city was a mixture from many parts of the Soviet Union. Deep snow was everywhere, in some places as high as the fences. The barracks were built halfway into the ground to provide protection from the icy cold of winter. It was during our stay here that a group of us suffered the life-threatening experience that I described at the outset.

The first year in Siberia was a tough one. The camp was hit by a severe outbreak of dysentery. Quite a few died. I also got very sick and at one point despaired of recovering. One advantage for us in the camp was that we received our daily rations of bread, whereas most of the Russians living in Prokopyevsk had to stand for hours in the cold, and then sometimes food supplies ran out before they could get any.

In the autumn of 1949, a commission of judicial officers arrived from Moscow to review our initial statements and determine what was to be done with us. A patriotic young officer, who seemed to hate all Germans, interviewed me. I was grateful not to receive a prison sentence. Those of us who did not receive sentences were transported to Stalinsk, now called Novokuznetsk, where we were assigned to work on the construction of a power station.

Back Home at Last!

Finally, in March 1950, we were sent back to Germany, and on April 28, I was at last reunited with my family. Although it was a great joy to be home, my troubles were not over. Because of my brief connection with the Hitler Youth, the East German Communist authorities treated me as a Nazi sympathizer and provided me only half the normal food and clothing ration. So, after being home for just three weeks, I moved from East Berlin to West Berlin.

However, I had not forgotten my promise that if ever I got back home to Germany, I would find some way to serve God. Often I would stand in front of a church, but I could not bring myself to go inside. I had become disappointed with religion, so I decided that I would just continue praying privately to God, asking that he show me a way that I could serve him.

In time I married Tilly, and we had a son, Bernd. Then, in the spring of 1955, a workmate who was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses began to talk to me about God. However, I soon lost contact with him when we suddenly left the country. Earlier I had applied to immigrate to Australia. Our sudden departure was prompted by a telegram that advised us that our application had been accepted and that we should be ready to sail from Bremerhaven in three days.

A New Land, a New Life

We eventually settled in Adelaide. Here a German-speaking Witness called on us late in 1957. We were delighted! Soon we made good progress in our regular Bible study. But to be truthful, after all that Tilly and I had been through, our main concern at first was for freedom from oppression. Now that we had come to sunny Australia, we felt as free as birds and loved it. But we soon found out that even here there are forms of oppression, economic problems, and other pressures of life.

…

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Awake!, February 22, 1992