Awake!, February 8, 1993
Awake! — February 8, 1993
Source: jw.org
Contents
Page Two
When Violence Hits Home
What Causes Domestic Violence?
An End to Domestic Violence
What’s Wrong With My Music?
Protests and Demonstrations—Can They Change the World?
Keeping Integrity in Nazi Germany
Flamingos—“Birds of a Feather”
The Guinea Worm—Its Final Days
Watching the World
From Our Readers
Freedom Index
“You Truly Do Care About Humans”
Page Two
Page Two
Will Domestic Violence Ever End? 3-14
‘Even our workers are being assaulted when they go to investigate domestic violence,’ reports a social director. Why is the family so violent? What can be done to try to prevent it? What if you cannot? Will it ever end?
What’s Wrong With My Music? 15
Young people want to play their own style of music. But others may object. What is the balanced view on this matter?
Flamingos—“Birds of a Feather” 24
A look at these beautiful birds and their struggle to survive
[Picture Credit Line on page 2]
Photo: Zoo de la Casa de Campo, Madrid
When Violence Hits Home
When Violence Hits Home
“Human violence—be it a slap or a shove, a knifing or a shooting—occurs more frequently within the family circle than anywhere else in our society.”—Behind Closed Doors.
WALK down any street in America. In every other home, some form of domestic violence will occur at least once this year. And in 1 out of 4 homes, it will take place repeatedly. Ironically, many who are afraid to walk the streets at night are in greater danger at home.
But domestic violence is not just an American phenomenon. It occurs throughout the world. For example, in Denmark 2 out of 3 murders take place within the family. Research in Africa shows that of all murders those within the family vary from 22 to 63 percent, depending on the country. And in Latin America many people, especially women, are degraded, battered, or killed by macho men.
In Canada about a hundred women die each year at the hands of their husbands or common-law spouses. In the United States, with nearly ten times the population of Canada, each year some 4,000 women are killed by abusive husbands or boyfriends. Furthermore, each year some 2,000 children are killed by their parents, and the same number of parents are killed by their children.
Thus, the world over, husbands batter wives, wives strike husbands, parents beat children, children attack parents, and children are violent toward one another. “The most anger and violence that adults experience in their lives is from or toward a blood relative,” asserts the book When Families Fight, “and that anger is more intense than that experienced in any other relationship.”
The Family at War
Spouse abuse: Too often, husbands view the marriage license as a license to batter their wives. While women do strike men, the damage is not usually as extensive as that inflicted by men when they batter their mates. Parents magazine reports: “More than 95 percent of reported cases of [severe] spouse abuse involve a man battering a woman.”
A New York district attorney states: “Violence against women exists in epidemic proportions in American society. The FBI has estimated that . . . as many as 6 million women are battered every year.” While the number of incidents varies from country to country, reports show that the battering of females by males is epidemic in many, if not most, lands.
In the United States, it is estimated that “one in 10 women will be seriously assaulted (hit, kicked, bitten or worse) by her husband sometime during the course of her marriage.” When less serious cases are included, the magazine Family Relations states, “one in two women in the United States will experience domestic violence.”
In fact, a New York district attorney says that it has been determined that “wife-beating causes more injuries to women requiring hospitalization than all rapes, muggings and automobile accidents combined.”
Dr. Lois G. Livezey notes: “It is clear that violence against women and violence within families is commonplace, and that the perpetrators . . . are ordinary people. . . . It is a serious problem among all classes and races of the population.”
Victims at times blame themselves for the abuse, resulting in low self-esteem. Parents magazine explains: “The woman who lacks self-confidence and places little value on herself targets herself for abuse. . . . The typical abused woman fears planning and acting on her own behalf.”
Marital violence also has a detrimental effect on the children. They learn that violence can be used to manipulate others. Some mothers even report that their children use threats against them, such as, “I’ll get Daddy to hit you,” in order to get their way.
Child abuse: Each year millions of children face extreme physical punishment that could seriously injure, maim, or kill them. It is estimated that for every case of abuse reported, 200 cases are not reported. “For children, the home is often the most dangerous place to be,” claims the book Sociology of Marriage and the Family.
University professor John E. Bates says that abuse is the most powerful home influence affecting how a child behaves later in life. Dr. Susan Forward says: “I have found that no other life event so scars people’s self-esteem or sets them up for major emotional difficulties in adulthood.” Signs of aggression in difficult situations can be noticed even in children from four to five years of age. As they grow, such children have higher rates of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, criminal behavior, psychotic disturbances, and delayed development.
Understandably, many mistreated children harbor anger toward the parent who abuses them, but often they are also angry at the nonabusing parent for allowing the violence to continue. In the mind of a child, the silent witness may be viewed as an accomplice.
Senior abuse: An estimated 15 percent of Canada’s seniors suffer physical and psychological abuse at the hands of their adult children. One doctor predicts that “the situation can only worsen as more of the population becomes elderly, and the financial and emotional burdens on their children grow.” Similar fears are felt worldwide.
Often, the elderly are reluctant to report abuse. They may be dependent on the abuser and thus choose to continue living under appalling circumstances. “Next time” is the answer that one elderly woman invariably gave when asked when she would turn in her son and daughter-in-law to the authorities. They had beaten her so severely that she was hospitalized for a month.
Sibling abuse: This is a prevalent form of domestic violence. Some trivialize it, saying, “Boys will be boys.” However, more than half of the siblings in one survey had committed acts that would be serious enough for criminal prosecution had the acts been directed against someone outside the family.
Many feel that sibling abuse teaches a pattern that is carried into adulthood. In some it may be an even greater factor in later marital abuse than their having observed violence between their parents.
Dangerous Battleground
A legal researcher once estimated that police were called to handle family conflicts more often than all other criminal incidents combined. He also claimed that more policemen were killed when responding to family disturbance calls than when answering any other single type of call. “At least with a robbery you’re prepared,” said one policeman. “But walk into somebody’s house . . . You don’t know what you’re in for.”
After an extensive study of domestic violence, one research team in America concluded that, other than the military in wartime, the family is the most violent social unit in existence.
What causes family violence? Will it ever end? Is it ever justified? The following article will probe these questions.
[Blurb on page 4]
“Violence against women exists in epidemic proportions in American Society.”—A district attorney
[Blurb on page 5]
“For children, the home is often the most dangerous place to be.”—Sociology of Marriage and the Family
What Causes Domestic Violence?
What Causes Domestic Violence?
“Rather than being a refuge from the stresses, strains, and irrationality of the outside society, the family often seems to transmit or even magnify these strains.”—The Intimate Environment—Exploring Marriage and the Family.
RESEARCH on the topic of family violence is a relatively new endeavor. Extensive surveys have been conducted only during recent decades. Results of such investigations may not always be consistent, but some basic factors contributing to domestic violence have been discovered. Let us consider some of these.
What Role Does Family Background Play?
A number of researchers said of their findings: “The more violent the couple we interviewed, the more violent their children are to each other, and to their parents.”
Simply being an eyewitness to family violence has a great effect upon a youngster. “A child witnessing his mother being battered is equivalent to the child being battered,” notes therapist John Bradshaw. One youth named Ed hated seeing his father beat his mother. Nevertheless, although he may not have realized it, he was being conditioned to believe that men must control women and that in order to do so, men must scare, hurt, and demean them. When he became an adult, Ed used these abusive, violent tactics on his wife.
Some parents cautiously forbid their children to watch violence on television, and that is a good thing. But parents should be even more cautious when it comes to monitoring their own behavior as role models for their impressionable children.
What Role Does Stress Play?
Pregnancy, unemployment, the death of a parent, moving, illness, and financial problems bring on stress, as do other things. Most people handle stress without resorting to violence. To some, however, stress can be a prelude to violence, especially when combined with other factors. For example, caring for an aged parent—particularly when the parent is ill—has often led to abuse when the caretaker is overburdened with other family responsibilities.
Raising children produces stress. As a result, the likelihood of child abuse may increase with the size of the family. Children may bring an increase in spouse abuse as well, for “it is conflict over children which is most likely to lead a couple to blows,” reports Behind Closed Doors.
Improper View of the Sexes
Dan Bajorek, who operates a counseling group in Canada, says that abusive men have a wrong view of women: “Whatever culture they’re from, they’ve been brought up to believe men are Number 1.” Hamish Sinclair, who heads a treatment program for abusive men, says that men are trained to believe that they are superior to women and that it is their right “to punish, discipline or intimidate them.”
In many lands the man is considered to have the right to treat his wife like a mere object, just another piece of his property. His control and dominance of his wife is taken as a measure of his manliness and honor. Often wives are horribly beaten and otherwise abused, and the legal systems do little about it because that is the code in such lands. The man is superior, and the woman inferior; she must render total obedience to him regardless of how dishonorable, violent, perverted, or selfish he is.
CBS television reporter Morley Safer reported of one South American country: “Nowhere in Latin America is the cult of machismo more apparent . . . It pervades all of society, including the courtroom where in defending his honor a man can get away with murder, particularly if the victim is his woman.” He asserted that “no place on earth degrades women” as that country does. But male dominance and the degradation of women is widespread. It is not confined to one land, however severe it may be there.
Minna Schulman, director of a domestic violence and law enforcement agency in New York, stated that violence is a tool that men use to maintain control and to demonstrate power and authority over a woman. She added: “We see domestic violence as a misuse of power and control.”
Some wife beaters suffer from low self-esteem, the same trait they induce in their victims. If they can do that, then their ego will have been fed, and they will feel a measure of superiority and control over another human. They feel that they prove their masculinity in this way. Yet, do they? Since they perpetrate their violence on physically weaker women, does it prove that they are truly men of strength, or does it prove, instead, that they are unreasonable? Is it really manly for a stronger male to beat up a weaker, more defenseless female? A man of strong moral character would show consideration and compassion for weaker and more defenseless ones, not take advantage of them.
Another demonstration of the unreasonable thinking of the abuser is the fact that he often blames his wife for provoking the beatings. He may imply, or even say to her, such things as: ‘You didn’t do this right. That’s why I’m beating you.’ Or: ‘Dinner was late, so you’re just getting what you deserve.’ In the abuser’s mind, it is her fault. However, no shortcoming of the other mate justifies battering.
Does Alcohol Make a Difference?
Since alcohol decreases control and raises the potential for acting on impulse, it is not surprising that some feel it can be a catalyst for abuse. Often a person is able to maintain control of violent emotions when he is sober, but after a few drinks, he becomes abusive. The alcohol has dulled his wits and diminished his ability to control his temper.
Others, however, claim that the problem is rooted more in stress than in alcohol itself. They say that a person who uses alcohol to cope with stress is the same type of person who may use violence for that purpose. This means that the drinker may be just as abusive when sober as when intoxicated. Nevertheless, whatever the reasoning in this regard, alcohol is surely not conducive to controlling one’s emotions but will usually do the opposite.
How the Media Shape Actions
Television, as well as the cinema, some claim, encourages a macho image for males and teaches that violence is a legitimate way to deal with conflict and anger. “I was fascinated at my own intense response to the movie Rambo,” admits one family counselor. “While my law-abiding [inner] adult is horrified by Rambo’s mass killings, my [inner] child cheers him on.”
Since many children are exposed to thousands of hours of television with countless acts of violence, rape, and degradation of other humans, particularly women, it is no wonder that many grow up to act out those very antisocial traits on others. And not only are children affected but adults are too.
Also, particularly in recent years, the degree of graphic violence, immorality, and demeaning of women as depicted on television and in films has markedly increased. This cannot but worsen the domestic violence scene. As an investigative group found, there is “a clear . . . correlation between viewing violence and aggressive behavior.”
The Effect of Isolation
Life is impersonal and lonely for many today. Supermarkets and discount stores have replaced the friendly neighborhood grocery. Urban renewal, economic problems, and unemployment force families to become transient. A high rate of domestic violence is found among those without strong social contacts.
James C. Coleman, in his book Intimate Relationships, Marriage, and the Family, explains why he thinks this is the case. He feels that being a loner cuts down on meaningful conversation and makes it difficult for an abuser to see his situation objectively and to seek help from a confidant. Not having friends and close relatives who can act as a tempering force enables a person to act out his selfishness more easily, since his wrong thinking is not daily counteracted by others close to him. It is as Proverbs 18:1 says: “One isolating himself will seek his own selfish longing; against all practical wisdom he will break forth.”
Help for the Violent Family
We have discussed just a portion of the explanations offered for domestic violence. There are others. Having identified some of the causes, we now need to examine solutions. If one is in a violent family, how can the pattern of abuse be stopped? What is the Bible’s view? Will domestic violence ever end? The article on page 10 will address these questions.
[Box/Picture on page 9]
Emotional Violence—Hitting Hard With Words
IN PHYSICAL abuse the assault is with fists; in emotional abuse the attack is with words. The only difference is the choice of weapons. It is as Proverbs 12:18 says: “There exists the one speaking thoughtlessly as with the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise ones is a healing.”
How dangerous is emotional violence, including these “stabs of a sword”? Dr. Susan Forward writes: “The result is the same [as in physical abuse]. You are just as scared, you feel just as helpless, and you are in just as much pain,” emotionally speaking.
Emotional violence toward a spouse: “Conjugal violence isn’t just physical. A large part, perhaps even the largest, is verbal and emotional,” said one long-term victim. Abuse may include name-calling, shouting, constant criticism, degrading insults, and threats of physical violence.
Malicious comments that belittle, humiliate, or intimidate can do grave damage. Like water dripping on a rock, denigrating innuendos may seem harmless at first. But self-esteem is soon eroded. “If I had to choose between physical and verbal abuse, I’d take a beating anytime,” said one woman. “You can see the marks,” she explained, “so at least people feel sorry for you. With the verbal stuff, it just makes you crazy. The wounds are invisible. Nobody cares.”
Emotional violence toward a child: This may include the constant criticizing and belittling of a child’s appearance, intelligence, competence, or value as a person. Sarcasm is particularly damaging. Children often take sarcastic remarks at face value, not discriminating between what is said in earnest and what is said in “fun.” Family therapist Sean Hogan-Downey notes: “The child feels hurt, but everyone is laughing, so he learns not to trust his feelings.”
Thus, in most cases, there is a ring of truth in what Scottish historian and essayist Thomas Carlyle once said: “Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the Devil; for which reason I have, long since, as good as renounced it.”
Joy Byers, a child-abuse expert, says: “Physical abuse may kill a child, but you can also kill the spirit, and that is what a constant pattern of negative parental comments can do.” The magazine FLEducator comments: “Unlike the bruise which can be identified and fades, emotional abuse causes unseen changes in a child’s mind and personality which permanently alters his reality and his interaction with others.”
[Picture on page 7]
Being exposed to violence has a strong influence on a child’s later behavior
An End to Domestic Violence
An End to Domestic Violence
“The prevention of violence in the home and the reduction of family violence involve major structural changes for both the society and the family.”—Behind Closed Doors.
THE first murder in human history involved brothers. (Genesis 4:8) Throughout the millenniums since, man has been plagued with all forms of domestic violence. Numerous solutions have been proposed, but many have drawbacks.
For instance, rehabilitation only reaches offenders who acknowledge their problem. One recovering wife abuser lamented: “For every one of us [being rehabilitated], there are three men out there who say, ‘You’ve got to keep the old lady in line.’” So the abuser needs to come to terms with his own situation. Why has he developed into an abuser? By getting help to correct his own faults, he may be put on the road to healing.
But social programs are understaffed. Thus, it is estimated that in 90 percent of child-murder cases in the United States, hazardous family situations had been reported before the killing. Hence, social programs and police organizations can do only so much. There is something else vitally needed.
“The New Personality”
“What is needed is no less than a restructuring of the relations between family members,” says one research team. Domestic violence is not just a problem of the fists; it is foremost a problem of the mind. Its seeds are sown in how family members—spouse, child, parent, sibling—view one another. Restructuring these relationships means putting on what the Bible calls “the new personality.”—Ephesians 4:22-24; Colossians 3:8-10.
Let us examine some family-related Bible principles that help us to put on the new Christlike personality that can work toward a better relationship among family members.—See Matthew 11:28-30.
View of children: More is involved in being a parent than producing a baby. Sadly, though, many today view their children as a burden and therefore lack commitment to their parental role. These are potential abusers.
The Bible calls children “an inheritance from Jehovah” and “a reward.” (Psalm 127:3) Parents are responsible to the Creator in caring for that inheritance. Those who view children as an encumbrance need to develop the new personality in this regard.a
Realistic expectations of children: One study revealed that many abusive mothers expect infants to know right from wrong by the time the child is one year of age. A third of those surveyed specified six months.
The Bible shows that everybody is born imperfect. (Psalm 51:5; Romans 5:12) It does not claim that discernment is acquired at birth. Rather, it says that “through use” a person’s perceptive powers are “trained to distinguish both right and wrong.” (Hebrews 5:14) Further, the Bible speaks of “the traits of a babe,” the “foolishness” of boyhood, and the “vanity” of adolescence. (1 Corinthians 13:11; Proverbs 22:15; Ecclesiastes 11:10) Parents must understand these limitations, not expecting more than is appropriate to the child’s age and ability.
Administering discipline to children: In the Bible the Greek word translated “discipline” means “educate.” Therefore, the goal of discipline is primarily, not to cause pain, but to train. Much of this can be accomplished without spanking, though that may be necessary at times. (Proverbs 13:24) The Bible says: “Listen to discipline and become wise.” (Proverbs 8:33) Too, Paul wrote that one should keep oneself “restrained under evil,” administering reproof with “long-suffering.” (2 Timothy 2:24; 4:2) This rules out angry outbursts and excessive force even when spanking is needed.
In view of these Bible principles, ask yourself: ‘Does my discipline teach, or does it simply control by hurting? Does my discipline instill right principles or just fear?’
Behavioral limits for adults: One abuser claimed that he had simply “lost control” and beat his wife. A counselor asked the man if he had ever stabbed his wife. “I would never do that!” the man responded. The man was helped to see that he was acting within a set of limits, but the problem was that they were not the proper limits.
Where are your limits set? Do you stop before a disagreement develops into something abusive? Or do you boil over and end up shouting, insulting, pushing, throwing things, or battering?
The new personality has a strict limit, set well short of allowing mental abuse or physical violence. “Let a rotten saying not proceed out of your mouth,” says Ephesians 4:29. Verse 31 adds: “Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from you along with all badness.” The Greek word for “wrath” denotes an “impulsive nature.” Interestingly, the book Toxic Parents notes that a common characteristic among child abusers is “an appalling lack of impulse control.” The new personality sets firm limits on impulses, both physical and verbal.
Of course, the new personality applies to the wife as well as to the husband. She should work at not antagonizing her mate, showing appreciation for his efforts to care for the family, cooperating with him. And both should not demand of each other what neither can produce—perfection. Instead, both should apply 1 Peter 4:8: “Above all things, have intense love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”
Respect for the aged: “Show respect for old people and honor them,” says Leviticus 19:32. (Today’s English Version) This may be a challenge when an elderly parent is ill and perhaps overdemanding. First Timothy 5:3, 4 speaks of giving “honor” and “due compensation” to parents. This could include financial provisions as well as respect. In view of all that our parents did for us when we were helpless infants, we should give them similar consideration when it is needed.
Conquer sibling rivalry: Before Cain’s hostility led to his murdering his brother Abel, he was counseled: “Sin is crouching at your door. It wants to rule you, but you must overcome it.” (Genesis 4:7, TEV) Feelings can be controlled. Learn to be patient with each other, “generously making allowances for each other because you love each other.”—Ephesians 4:2, Phillips.
Learning to Confide
Many victims of domestic violence are silent sufferers. But Dr. John Wright urges: “Battered women should seek emotional and physical protection from a competent third party.” The same is true for any abused family member.
Sometimes a victim finds it difficult to confide in another individual. After all, trust within the closest social unit—the family—has led to pain. However, “there exists a friend sticking closer than a brother,” says Proverbs 18:24. Finding that friend and learning to confide discreetly is a valuable step in getting needed assistance. Of course, the abuser needs to get help too.
Each year hundreds of thousands of people become Jehovah’s Witnesses. These accept the challenge of putting on the new personality. Among them are former perpetrators of domestic violence. To counteract any tendency toward a relapse, they must continually let the Bible be “beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight.”—2 Timothy 3:16.
For these new Witnesses, putting on the new personality is a continuing process, for Colossians 3:10 says that it is “being made new.” So continual effort is needed. Thankfully, Jehovah’s Witnesses have the support of a multitude of spiritual “brothers and sisters and mothers and children.”—Mark 10:29, 30; see also Hebrews 10:24, 25.
Then, too, in all of the some 70,000 congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses throughout the world, there are loving overseers who are like “a shelter from the wind and a place to hide from storms.” Their “eyes and ears will be open to the needs of the people.” (Isaiah 32:2, 3, TEV) So newer Witnesses of Jehovah, as well as more experienced ones, have a wonderful reservoir of help available in the Christian congregation as they work at putting on the new personality.
Compassionate Overseers
When people come to Christian overseers in congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses for counsel, these overseers are trained to listen impartially to all. They are encouraged to show everyone, especially the victims of severe abuse, great compassion and understanding.—Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:14.
For instance, a battered wife could have been brutally hurt. In many lands today, had that same battering been inflicted on someone outside the family, the abuser could have ended up in prison. So the victim needs to be treated with extraordinary kindness, as do victims of all other types of abuse, such as sexual abuse.
Furthermore, the perpetrators of crimes against God’s laws need to be called to account. In this way the congregation is kept clean, and other innocent persons are protected. And very important, the flow of God’s spirit is not impeded.—1 Corinthians 5:1-7; Galatians 5:9.
God’s View of Marriage
When people become Jehovah’s Witnesses, they agree to be bound by the principles of Christian living found in God’s Word. They learn that the man is designated as the head of the family, to guide it in true worship. (Ephesians 5:22) But headship never authorizes brutalizing the wife, crushing her personality, or ignoring her wishes.
On the contrary, God’s Word makes clear that husbands should “continue loving [their] wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it . . . Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it.” (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29) Indeed, God’s Word plainly says that wives should be assigned “honor.”—1 Peter 3:7; see also Romans 12:3, 10; Philippians 2:3, 4.
Surely no Christian husband can truthfully argue that he really loves his wife or honors her if he abuses her verbally or physically. That would be hypocrisy, for God’s Word states: “You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them.” (Colossians 3:19) Shortly, when God’s judgments come against this wicked system at Armageddon, hypocrites will suffer the same fate as opposers of God’s rule.—Matthew 24:51.
A God-fearing husband is to love his wife as his own body. Would he beat his own body, punch himself in the face, or violently pull his own hair? Would he belittle himself with disdain and sarcasm in front of others? One doing such things would be considered mentally unbalanced, to say the least.
If a Christian man batters his wife, it renders all his other Christian works valueless in God’s sight. Remember, “a smiter” does not qualify for privileges in the Christian congregation. (1 Timothy 3:3; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3) Of course, any wife who deals similarly with her husband is also violating God’s law.
Galatians 5:19-21 places among the works condemned by God “enmities, strife, . . . fits of anger” and states that “those who practice such things will not inherit God’s kingdom.” Thus, battering one’s mate or children is never justified. It is usually against the law of the land and is certainly against God’s law.
The Watchtower, a magazine published by Jehovah’s Witnesses, has provided a Scriptural viewpoint on the matter, saying of those who profess to be Christians yet are batterers: “Anyone claiming to be a Christian who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to violent fits of anger can be disfellowshiped,” excommunicated.—May 1, 1975, page 287; compare 2 John 9, 10.
What God’s Law Allows
God will ultimately judge those who violate his laws. But in the meantime, what provision does his Word make for those Christian mates who have been battered when the perpetrator does not change but continues his battering? Are innocent victims obligated to continue jeopardizing their physical, mental, and spiritual health, perhaps even their lives?
The Watchtower, commenting on violence in the home, notes what God’s Word allows. It states: “The apostle Paul counsels: ‘A wife should not depart from her husband; but if she should actually depart, let her remain unmarried or else make up again with her husband; and a husband should not leave his wife.’” The article further says: “In the event that abuse becomes unbearable, or life itself is endangered, the believing mate may choose to ‘depart.’ But the endeavor should be to ‘make up again’ in due course. (1 Corinthians 7:10-16) However, ‘departing’ does not of itself provide Scriptural grounds for divorce and remarriage; still, a legal divorce or a legal separation may provide a measure of protection from further abuse.”—March 15, 1983, pages 28-9; see also the issue of November 1, 1988, pages 22-3.
What a victim chooses to do in these circumstances must be a personal decision. “Each one will carry his [or her] own load.” (Galatians 6:5) No one else can make such a decision for her. And no one should try to pressure her to return to an abusive husband where her health, life, and spirituality are threatened. That must be her own choice, of her own free will, not because others are trying to impose their will on her.—See Philemon 14.
An End to Domestic Violence
Jehovah’s Witnesses have learned that domestic violence is typical of what the Bible foretold for these last days, in which many would be “abusive,” with “no natural affection,” and “fierce.” (2 Timothy 3:2, 3, The New English Bible) God promises that following these last days, he will usher in a peaceful new world in which people “will actually dwell in security, with no one to make them tremble.”—Ezekiel 34:28.
In that marvelous new world, domestic violence will forever be a thing of the past. “The meek ones themselves will possess the earth, and they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.”—Psalm 37:11.
We urge you to learn more about the Bible’s promises for the future. Indeed, you can reap benefits even now by applying Bible principles in your family environment.
[Footnotes]
Much good advice concerning effective parenting is included in the book Making Your Family Life Happy, published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc., chapters 7 to 9, “Having Children—A Responsibility and a Reward,” “Your Role as Parents,” and “Training Children From Infancy.”
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Bible principles help resolve family conflicts
[Picture on page 13]
Victims need to confide in a competent friend
What’s Wrong With My Music?
Young People Ask . . .
What’s Wrong With My Music?
“My dad says, ‘Turn off that noise! It’s hurting my ears!’”—A teenage boy.
“Some rap music is really, really disgusting.”—A teenage girl.
“IT’S no big deal,” complained Jodie. “Why are they making such a big deal about music?” Thirteen-year-old Lisette feels the same way. “It’s just a song,” she insists.
Are you likewise engaged in an ongoing battle with your parents over music? If so, you may be faced with complaints, threats, and orders every time you put on your favorite tape or disc. (“My dad says, ‘Turn off that noise! It’s hurting my ears!’” says one teenage boy.) Tired of the hassle, you may feel that your parents are making a big deal out of nothing. “What about when they were young?” argues one teenage girl. “Didn’t their parents think their music was bad?”
She has a point. Throughout history, older and younger generations have tended to clash on matters of personal taste. So why should you have to stop listening to your music simply because your parents do not like it? What’s wrong with your music anyway?
Music—Its Place in Life
Well, no one is really saying that it is wrong to enjoy music. Some of the Bible itself—particularly the psalms—was originally set to music. In Bible times, music was prominently used in the worship of God. (Psalm 149:3; 150:4) Music also served as a means of expressing joy, excitement, and sorrow. (Genesis 31:27; Judges 11:34; 1 Samuel 18:6, 7; Matthew 9:23, 24) In the days of Jesus Christ, music was a common feature at social gatherings; it added enjoyment to the occasion.—Luke 15:25.
Music continues to have an important role today—especially among young people. The Journal of the American Medical Association notes: “Between the seventh and 12th grades, the average teenager listens to 10,500 hours of rock music, just slightly less than the entire number of hours spent in the classroom from kindergarten through high school.”
Surveys show that the majority of U.S. youths listen almost exclusively to rock or pop music. (For simplicity’s sake, we will use the terms “rock” and “pop” to designate virtually all the styles of music popular among young people—from soul music and new wave to rap and heavy metal.) According to The World Book Encyclopedia, “rock music is no longer only the music of young Americans. It is music of the world.”
The Appeal of Rock Music
Why is rock music so popular? According to the book Youth Trends, rock serves as “a common language among all young people.” Some youths thus feel that keeping up with the music scene—knowing the latest groups and songs—helps them to fit in with others. Music provides a common bond among youths and endless topics for conversation.
For many youths, however, music is enjoyed best in solitude. Have you had a tough day at school? Then perhaps you are like the teenage girl named Bree who says: “I sit in my room, put on the stereo really loud and I just sit there. It kind of relieves tension and pressure.” While rock music is often criticized for being noisy and strident, many popular songs do have tuneful melodies and pleasant-sounding arrangements.
For others, though, the lure is the beat. “It’s the easiest music to dance to,” explained one girl when asked why she was a fan of rap music. But many are also drawn to the words. Custom-written for young people, pop lyrics run the gamut of adolescent feelings and anxieties. Rap music is particularly noteworthy for focusing on current issues, such as racism and social injustice. “I turn on the radio and most music it’s mindless, it drives me insane,” complains a teenager named Dan, quoted in Newsweek magazine. “Rap has like real stories and real things. It’s interesting to listen to.”
However, it is the message of the music that may be of most concern to your parents.
The Message of Rap
Take rap music, for example. In rap, the lyrics—streetwise slang set to rhyme—are spoken, not sung, to the accompaniment of a powerful beat. Of course, there’s nothing inherently evil in this concept. Many popular songs over the decades have incorporated the spoken word. But rap music often takes this idea to wild extremes.
Rap (or, hip-hop) reportedly became popular back in the 1970’s in small New York City dance clubs frequented by inner-city youths. As disc jockeys began chanting rhymes (or, rapping) over a background of prerecorded percussion, dancers responded with near hysteria. Rap music soon moved from the streets and basement clubs to the musical mainstream. Rappers sporting names as brash as their music—Public Enemy, M. C. Hammer, and Vanilla Ice—were soon filling the airwaves with their thundering brand of music.
Interestingly, when an Awake! reporter asked a racially mixed group of suburban Christian youths, “Do many of you listen to rap?” a surprising majority said yes! “What do you like about rap?” he next asked. “The beat,” replied one teenage girl. “It just flows, and it’s easy to listen to.” “You can dance to it,” replied another. The next question, however, drew a somewhat less enthusiastic response, “Is some rap music a problem for Christians?”
After an embarrassing pause, one girl admitted: “Some rap music is really, really disgusting.” Others begrudgingly agreed with her. Indeed, it turned out that many of the youths were alarmingly familiar with a lengthy list of objectionable songs—songs that promoted promiscuity and perversion in outrageously graphic terms. Some confessed that many of these songs freely used profanity.
Yes, much of rap music appears to send a message of rebellion, violence, anger, racism, and sexual prowess. Rap promoter Daniel Caudeiron, president of the Black Music Association of Canada, who praises rap for being “overwhelmingly positive,” admits that much rap is “misogynistic [antiwoman], sexist and occasionally foulmouthed.”—Maclean’s, November 12, 1990.
The Rap Life-Style
Granted, not all rap music is immoral or violent. According to an article in The New York Times, some of it is devoted to such positive goals as education, discouraging drug abuse, and solving social ills. But inoffensive lyrics may very well be the exception, not the rule. When Newsweek rated the top ten rap albums, using a standard similar to the U.S. movie-rating system, only two were considered G, or suitable for general audiences. Newsweek rated four of the albums R (restricted to adult audiences), and two were even rated X because of “gutter language” and explicit sex.
Besides, the message of rap goes beyond its lyrics. Rap has spawned a cultural revolution. Millions of teenagers wear the oversize clothing, unlaced high-top sneakers, baggy jeans, gold chains, baseball caps, and dark glasses that make up standard rap attire. Many also imitate the flamboyant gestures and the attitude of rap performers. And to the consternation of parents and teachers, nonwords such as “yo!” and “dis”—the abrasive street slang glorified in rap—have crept into everyday speech.
Rap may very well represent a rebellion against injustices. But taken as a whole, rap is also a culture of rebellion against godly standards of behavior, dress, and speech. Would a Christian, by his taste in music, want to risk being drawn into such a questionable life-style?
Of course, rap music is hardly the only form of music that goes to wild extremes. Time magazine reports: “There’s an acrid tang [bitter taste] in nearly every area of modern American pop culture. Heavy-metal masters Motley Crüe invoke images of satanism and the Beastie Boys mime masturbation onstage.” The Bible predicted that “in the last days . . . wicked men and impostors [would] advance from bad to worse, misleading and being misled.” (2 Timothy 3:1, 13) Should it surprise you, then, that much of today’s music sends the wrong message to Christian youths?
Your parents may therefore rightly be very concerned if you go in for rap or other extreme forms of rock music. They may fear that a steady diet of such music will harm you. Could their fears be valid? Our next issue will address this question.
[Pictures on page 17]
Many youths now imitate the dress and attitude of rap performers
Protests and Demonstrations—Can They Change the World?
The Bible’s Viewpoint
Protests and Demonstrations—Can They Change the World?
“WE MUST Speak Out, We Must Take to the Streets.” So ran the headline over an editorial in the National Catholic Reporter, a Roman Catholic newspaper, just prior to the outbreak of the Persian Gulf war in 1991. Urging readers to participate in peace marches and demonstrations throughout the United States, the editorial continued: “It will take millions of people and a constant beating of the pipes of peace to penetrate this administration’s ignorance and arrogance. . . . The people have to take to the streets.”
Such calls to action are frequently heard today. With so many political, economic, and environmental crises threatening mankind’s welfare, people are feeling compelled to “take to the streets” in protests, vigils, and demonstrations. The issues range from stopping neighborhood crime to establishing world peace. Interestingly, a large number of these demonstrations carry the endorsement of church organizations and religious leaders.
However, is it proper for Christians to participate in such demonstrations? And can protests—whether in the form of riotous marches or somber candlelight vigils—really change the world for the better?
Demonstrations—The Christian View
Demonstrations have been described by one sociologist as “a particularly effective mode of political expression . . . for prodding stalemated bureaucracies into taking necessary actions.” Yes, those who march in protests or who stage demonstrations usually do so in hopes that their concerted efforts can correct the injustices and corruption seen in the present social and political systems.
What model, though, did Jesus Christ leave for his followers? Jesus lived at a time when the Jewish people found themselves under the tyranny of the Roman Empire. Certainly, relief from the oppressive Roman yoke was greatly desired by the people. Yet, Jesus never encouraged his followers to stage a demonstration, march in protest, or become politically involved in any other way. On the contrary, he repeatedly said that his disciples were to be “no part of the world.”—John 15:19; 17:16; see also John 6:15.
Similarly, when Jesus was unfairly taken into custody by government officials, he did not try to stir up a protest, although he could certainly have done so if he had chosen to. Instead, he told the Roman governor: “My kingdom is no part of this world. If my kingdom were part of this world, my attendants would have fought that I should not be delivered up to the Jews. But, as it is, my kingdom is not from this source.” (John 18:33-36) Faced with a controversy, Jesus refrained from any actions of protest, recognizing the need to remain no part of political affairs. And he urged his followers to do the same.
Participating in demonstrations, therefore, would violate the basic principle of Christian neutrality taught by Jesus. Beyond that, such participation could even lead to involvement in other unchristian conduct. In what way? Demonstrations staged with good intentions often take on a decidedly rebellious spirit, with participants becoming militant, verbally abusive, or violent. Engaging in illegal and obstructionist tactics may command attention, but it hardly harmonizes with the Bible’s admonition to “be in subjection to the superior authorities” and to “be peaceable with all men.” (Romans 12:18; 13:1) Rather than encouraging civil disobedience, the Bible urges Christians to maintain their conduct fine among the nations and to remain subject to human governments, even if those in authority are hard to please or are unreasonable.—1 Peter 2:12, 13, 18.
‘But not all demonstrations are militant or violent,’ some may say. True, and some demonstrations do seem to produce good results. But can protests—even if they are peaceful and held for a good cause—really change the world for the better?
Can They Change the World?
Christians are deeply concerned about their neighbors and want to help them. But is participating in demonstrations really the best way to offer help? The book Demonstration Democracy states: “There is only so much that can be achieved by any tool of political expression.” Undeniably, eliminating the woes facing mankind requires changes that are beyond the scope of any protest or march.
Jesus made a similar point when discussing the centuries-old religious system of his day. Regarding that hypocritical system of worship practiced by the Pharisees, he said: “Nobody sews a patch of unshrunk cloth upon an old outer garment; for its full strength would pull from the outer garment and the tear would become worse.” (Matthew 9:16) What was Jesus’ point? That true Christianity would not conform to wicked and worn-out systems that were ready to be discarded. He recognized that patching up an unusable system would have been futile.
The same is true of the world system that has subjected mankind to centuries of injustice, cruelty, and oppression. Ecclesiastes 1:15 pointedly explains: “That which is made crooked cannot be made straight.” Yes, today’s world system cannot be made straight, despite the noblest efforts. Why not? Because, as 1 John 5:19 says, “the whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one,” Satan the Devil. Jesus pointed to that one as “the ruler of this world.” (John 12:31) As long as this system operates under the influence of Satan, no amount of patching up will bring permanent relief.
This does not mean that Christians are apathetic to the world’s problems or unwilling to take positive action. Actually, Christians are told to be quite active, not in protest, but in the work of preaching and teaching the good news of God’s Kingdom—the very Kingdom government for which Jesus taught his followers to pray. (Matthew 6:10; 24:14) The Bible shows that the Kingdom will not try to salvage this irreformable world; it will completely eliminate the wicked governments and social orders that now oppress mankind and will replace them with a system that can establish true justice and righteousness earth wide. (Daniel 2:44) Under such a system, nobody will have to march in protest because Jehovah God, who is “satisfying the desire of every living thing,” will see to it that all our needs are met completely.—Psalm 145:16.
[Picture Credit Line on page 18]
Labor strike, Leslie’s
Keeping Integrity in Nazi Germany
Keeping Integrity in Nazi Germany
ON A cold April day in 1939, I was sent to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp in Germany. Along with other new prisoners, I appeared before the camp commander, a vicious man nicknamed Foursquare because of his husky build. In his “welcoming speech,” he berated us, describing the cruel torment we could expect.
“You can get anything you want from me,” he shouted, “a shot in the head, a shot in the chest, a shot in the stomach!” And he warned: “My boys are good shots. They will send you straight to heaven! The only way you’ll leave here is as a corpse.”
Afterward I was sent to Isolation, a fenced-in section within the camp. This was where Jehovah’s Witnesses were kept, along with other prisoners who were considered dangerous. When I was brought there, a young SS (Hitler’s Blackshirts/Elite Guard) man slapped me repeatedly in the face because I had refused to sign a statement repudiating my faith.
Otto Kamien from Herne befriended me, helping me sew onto my uniform my prisoner number and the purple triangle, which served to identify Jehovah’s Witnesses in the camp. He also showed me how to make my bed—prisoners were beaten or even killed for not having made their beds properly.
Otto cautioned: “From time to time, they will ask whether you are still one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Be firm, be steadfast, and say loud and clear: ‘I am still one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.’” He added: “If you are firm and steadfast, the Devil will leave you alone.” (James 4:7) Otto’s encouragement helped me keep integrity to God during the next six years I spent in three concentration camps.
When I think back on those trying years, I recognize, today more than ever, that it was only with God’s help that I kept integrity. How did it come about that on January 20, 1938, I was first arrested?
My Early Years
Some years before I was born in 1911, my parents, who lived in Königsberg, East Prussia, became Bibelförscher (Bible Students), as Jehovah’s Witnesses were then known. I had three brothers and two sisters, and Mother often took us to meetings. Sadly, after a while Father no longer joined the family in true worship. Although my brothers and one of my sisters became zealous Kingdom proclaimers, in time my sister Lisbeth and I ceased paying much attention to the Bible truths we had learned.
When I was in my early 20’s, Hitler came to power in Germany, and people were put under intense pressure. I worked as an auto mechanic at a large repair plant in Königsberg. When the Führer gave talks on special occasions, all in the plant had to assemble. It also became common to use the greeting “Heil Hitler!” Eventually I was ordered to take part in premilitary training, so I had to face the question, Whose side am I on?
From Acts 4:12, I knew that heil, or salvation, did not come from Hitler but only through Jesus Christ. So I could not say “Heil Hitler,” and I never did. Also, I ignored the order to participate in premilitary training.
During 1936 and 1937, my mother, my younger sister Helene, and my brothers, Hans and Ernst, were all arrested. From then on I also wanted to take my stand for the true God. I began to read the Bible in the evenings, and I prayed to Jehovah to help me. Lisbeth also began taking more interest.
Taking My Stand
When the time came, I took a clear stand for Jehovah and refused to serve in Hitler’s army, even though I was not yet baptized. I was arrested and handed over to the military. Five weeks later a military court in Rastenburg sentenced me to a year in prison.
I was thrown into solitary confinement at the Central Prison in Stuhm, West Prussia. During my exercise period in the prison yard, I found solace in exchanging glances with faithful Witnesses from Königsberg whom I had known from childhood. Then my brothers—Paul, Hans, and Ernst—were all put in this same prison because of their faith in God. While I was in solitary, Hans at times managed to smuggle a piece of bread to me.
Upon completion of my prison term, I was repeatedly examined by the Gestapo in Königsberg. Since I refused to change my mind, I was taken to the concentration camp at Sachsenhausen. There I was assigned construction work on a garage, laboring from six in the morning until six in the evening. Because of the severe mistreatment, some prisoners tried to escape, knowing that, if caught, they would be shot. I once saw a prisoner commit suicide by throwing himself against the electric fence.
The Pressure Intensifies
In September 1939, World War II broke out, and the pressure upon us in Sachsenhausen intensified. Our work load increased, and we were deprived of our warm wool clothing. On September 15 the Nazis were to make an example of our Christian brother August Dickmann, who had refused military service. So a special assembly was arranged for his execution.
Several hundred of us fellow Witnesses were eyewitnesses as the firing squad shot and August fell dead. Afterward all prisoners were dismissed except Jehovah’s Witnesses. Foursquare then asked who was ready to sign the statement rejecting one’s faith and indicating willingness to become a soldier. Not one signed, and Foursquare was furious.
The winter of 1939 was severe. We were poorly clothed and were underfed, so death took its toll. Many of our older brothers perished, but overall the percentage of deaths among us Witnesses was small compared with other prisoner groups. Even robust Foursquare took to his sickbed and died in February 1940.
To Another Camp
A few days after Foursquare’s death, 70 of us were transferred to the small camp of Wewelsburg near Paderborn. We had hoped conditions would be better there, but just the opposite was true. We had less food and harder work in a quarry. Some days we were drenched to the skin by snow and rain. During this especially hard time, I would pull the blanket over my head at night and empty my heart with weeping before Jehovah. Each time I did, I felt an inner calm and peace of mind, thus receiving from God “help at the right time.”—Hebrews 4:16.
Jehovah took care of our spiritual health. Witnesses from the Buchenwald concentration camp were sent to Wewelsburg, bringing with them spiritual food in the form of Bible literature. In small groups we went to the dormitory, where we joined them in a secret Watchtower Study. Even the physical food in the camp got slightly better.
I thanked Jehovah for his kindness when a fellow Witness saw to it that I got to work with him in a blacksmith shop. In the workshops, where mainly Witnesses worked, prisoners received better food rations. Furthermore, it was warm, and there was no oppressive driving of the workers. Physically I benefited so much that within six months I was again robust, although earlier I had been reduced to skin and bones.
Word About My Brothers
While in Wewelsburg, I received word from my sister Lisbeth that our brother Ernst had kept his integrity to Jehovah to the death. He had been beheaded in Berlin on June 6, 1941, after four years’ imprisonment. When other Witnesses heard the news, they came by and congratulated me. Their positive attitude touched me deeply. Remaining loyal meant more to us than survival.
Two years later, on February 1, 1943, my brother Hans was shot in Quednau near Königsberg. Hans was 34 and had been imprisoned for five years. Later, an eyewitness to his execution told me that the officer asked Hans if he had a last wish. Hans requested permission to say a prayer, which was granted. The prayer made such an impression on the soldiers that when the officer finally gave the order to fire, not one of them obeyed. He repeated the order, whereupon one shot was fired, hitting Hans in the body. The officer then drew his own pistol and personally finished him off.
Further Examples of Integrity
Of the Witnesses transferred from Buchenwald to Wewelsburg, 27 were chosen for military service and sent to serve in various units. Each refused to be inducted; only one accepted noncombatant service. The 26 were threatened with execution, all to no avail. After they returned to the Wewelsburg camp, the commander threatened: “You will be pushing up daisies within four weeks.”
These loyal brothers were then given particularly severe treatment. The SS thought of all manner of ways to oppress, exhaust, and torment them to death. Yet, all 26 survived! Later, the same treatment was accorded to some non-Witnesses, and among them the death rate was high even after a short period of time.
My Integrity-Keeping Sisters
In April 1943, I was transferred to the Ravensbrück camp. It was principally for women but had a small section for men. I was put to work in the auto repair shop, directly in front of the women’s camp. Christian sisters passing by soon noticed my purple triangle. What a joy it was to exchange a concealed greeting or a warm smile! Soon word spread that I was the son of Grandma Rehwald. Yes, my mother was among those in the women’s camp, along with my sister Helene and my sister-in-law, wife of my late brother Hans!
Our Christian sisters were able to provide me with underwear and an occasional piece of bread. They once maneuvered matters so that I could secretly speak with my dear mother. Had our meeting been discovered, it would have meant big trouble for us. What a joyful reunion! Some months later, shortly before the camp was liberated, my mother died. She had kept integrity to death.
Liberated At Last!
In April 1945 the Russians and the Americans were getting closer to Ravensbrück. I was entrusted with a tractor and trailer to help evacuate the camp. After an adventurous trip, the SS officer in charge told us that the Americans were close by and that we were all free to do as we pleased.
We finally got to Schwerin, Mecklenburg state, where we met a number of Witnesses who had been in the Sachsenhausen camp, among them my brother Paul. He had survived the death marches from Sachsenhausen, as well as other exertions. Some days later we caught a train to Berlin and located a family of Witnesses who hospitably took us in.
This family did much to help brothers and sisters who were liberated from the camps and prisons. In 1946, I married Elli, a daughter of that family. Finally, arrangements were made for me to be baptized, something that had not been possible in the concentration camps.
What a thrill it has been over the years at conventions to meet brothers with whom I had been in concentration camps! Some had risked their lives for their brothers, and these were especially dear to me. The six members of our family who were arrested—my mother, my sister Helene, and I, plus my brothers, Paul, Hans, and Ernst—spent a total of 43 years in confinement. And my sister Lisbeth also kept her integrity to God until her death in 1945.
Dependent on Jehovah’s Strength
After getting married, Elli and I were privileged to serve for a number of years at the Magdeburg Bethel and in the pioneer work until we began raising our two sons. We are very thankful that one of these, Hans-Joachim, is serving as an elder and his wife as a pioneer. Unfortunately, our other son has not held to the Christian course in which we directed him.
Over 45 years have flown by since my concentration camp experiences. But even now, the God of all undeserved kindness himself has not finished my training. (1 Peter 5:10) I have often been reminded of the apostle Paul’s words at 1 Corinthians 10:12: “Let him that thinks he is standing beware that he does not fall.”
Today, at age 81, I am thankful that I can still share in the witness work and serve as a congregation elder. And I am grateful that I have been able to help a number of people to come to the point of dedication and baptism. This too I view as an expression of Jehovah’s undeserved kindness.—As told by Josef Rehwald.
[Picture on page 20]
Josef Rehwald in 1945
[Picture on page 21]
Rehwald family, about 1914. Mother with little Josef on her lap
[Picture on page 23]
Josef and Elli Rehwald at the 1991 Berlin convention, with son Hans-Joachim and his wife, Ursula
Flamingos—“Birds of a Feather”
Flamingos—“Birds of a Feather”
By Awake! correspondent in Spain
FAMILIAR yet mysterious, ungainly yet elegant, craving isolation yet incurably gregarious—the flamingo is a beguiling bird.
Familiar to almost everyone, its singular silhouette appears in Egyptian hieroglyphics (it symbolized the color red), ancient cave paintings, and modern artwork. But the flamingos still hold some mysteries. Their breeding sites are uncommonly remote, and several of the larger ones have been discovered only in the last 50 years. And the male and female are so similar that expert ornithologists can tell them apart only by using an optical probe.
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